Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I walked into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a brisk pace.
I practiced “just hear,”
where you just
chant and hear with no other meditation.
I am capable of it
and comfortable with it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is non-different from Krishna Himself
and absorbs himself in
the transcendental sound vibration
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I met my quota after four rounds
with ample minutes to spare.
Then I turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the second set at a brisk pace,
but I didn’t rush recklessly.
I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind,
I heard the Names clearly, attentively, and
with concern to pronounce the Names properly.
But I was distracted by planning what to write
in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Names,
so my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanting with imperfections
as I was doing.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
At the beginning of the session
I applied essential oil (lavender)
behind my ears to prevent headache,
but it immediately created
pressures on the eyes
which began to increase. I
paused and took
headache medicine. Because
of the pain, I was distracted
and did not cultivate
thoughtfulness
or devotional feelings to avoid
mechanical chanting. Nor did
I call out to Krishna
for His blessings,
although I can’t do good japa
on my own endeavor.
I finished my twelfth round
falling behind on the schedule.
The fourth set was all speed,
with priority over quality.
The headache grew and
disturbed me. My japa
was external and mechanical.
I completed my sixteen rounds
with minutes to spare.
I considered it a poor session,
handicapped with a headache
I did not enter a
internal prayerful state.
At least I followed the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order
of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.