“Satsvarupa Maharaja is presently contending with more of the “sundown syndrome”- confusion around the day/nighttime, and a subsequent 24 hour intermittent work schedule (which suits him). The headaches continue with spontaneous timing, coming anywhere from zero to two a day. It seems that when you receive your official senior citizen card in the mail, you get everything that goes with it, both favorable and unfavorable.
“Hari Hari,
Baladeva”
The first twenty minutes in the car are the difficult part of chanting because we tend to be drowsy. But then we put on our face masks and go out into the cold for the walk, and everything changes. Today I became tired and could only make two laps, but they were good. We then return to the car and chant some more in a better state of consciousness, cooled up by the walk. We don’t talk much, just concentrate on japa. Then the feeding of the seagulls. Then we strap up our seatbelts and drive back home for breakfast.
******
I want to continue writing my feelings, but I want to continue speaking to Krishna. My Lord, please accept I am a devotee of Yours. I want to practice the chanting and hear the scriptures. I want to be with You ultimately in the spiritual world. I want to please You. I have to evolve through my own nature. This means discovering who I am, sometimes by the process of trial and error. Expressing what is really going on with me.
******
Can I still cry to Lord Krishna? I plan to chant again for an hour and a half. Never mind how I feel about it, just do it because it is so highly recommended. Force yourself to do it, and it will be good; this is part of sadhana-bhakti. You practice with determination.
******
I have finished ten rounds. I am content that I attained numerical strength without drowsiness. But my chanting was offensive, and that doesn’t make me happy. Which of the nama-aparadhas am I stuck in, how many? Probably to some degree I am tainted by all of them. I do not love the Vaisnavas. I am not exclusively attached to the careful utterance of the holy names. I don’t think of Krishna’s pastimes and qualities when I chant, and I don’t feel faithful reciprocation with the Divine Couple. I commit pramada, inattention to the holy names.
******
I dutifully execute the yajna, round after round, under the direction of my spiritual master (since 1966), and with faith that this is the best method for clearing the dirty mirror of the mind.
******
O holy names, when will the day come when I chant and love in emotions? When can I chant as Lord Caitanya advises in Siksastakam, humbler than a blade of grass? When will I feel all vacant in the world in the absence of Krishna? I pray for these attainments and proceed diligently in my insect way.
******
I am a disciple of A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. I have Vaisnava blood, some forty-two years of eating only Krishna prasadam, forty-two years of attempted chanting. A record of service to Srila Prabhupada. Please count it and give me new entrance to association with You on more intimate footing. I am not so active in my older age, but I am active within, in spirit. You will not refuse me. Your devotee will hear my cry. Or else I am hopeless.
pp. 31-33
As Chota walked quickly down the garbage-littered street, crows called out at him from their front porches.
“Hey mouse! You lookin’ to be a meal?!”
“Hey Mousey, you better get your face outta here before dark if you like breathing! Caw! Caw!”
Chota showed a faint smile but was very nervous as he kept walking ahead. The tense situation at least forced him to chant fervently in his mind, Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.
Padma lived in a rundown, unpainted little house on stilts. Although almost all the crows on the block perched on their front porches or on their roofs, Padma was within his house, and Chota had to knock repeatedly on the front door. As soon as Chota was admitted, the two friends exchanged obeisances and a hearty embrace.
Padma was married and had a young daughter. His wife and daughter said, “Hello,” but then allowed the two friends to talk in private. They sat on comfortable cushions, and Chota sipped at his water while Padma drank down some pills with wheat-grass juice.
“Do you still smoke?” asked Chota.
“Sometimes.”
“I wish I could help you,” said Chota. “But I know you don’t want preachy talk. Remember though, how happy and effulgent you were when we were visiting the schools together?”
Padma brightened, and they began to reminisce about better days.
“I always remember,” said Chota, “how spontaneously you were attracted to Prabhupada’s books. You used to read by the hour. I think only because of your help was I able to learn myself.”
Padma agreed that he had been happier when he was following the spiritual practices. At Chota’s request, Padma tried explaining his mental predicament. He said one dilemma was whether to be more responsive to his family’s material demands or more concerned with his own spiritual advancement. He spoke of feeling inadequate and oversensitive—everyone seemed to be against him, or even if they weren’t, people were too loud and demanding. He had always been a misfit. It was a very psychological explanation, and Chota couldn’t quite follow it. He sincerely nodded and encouraged Padma that the real solution was to take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
Padma looked sincerely into Chota’s eyes and asked, “How are you doing? I heard they were blaspheming you.”
Chota confided to his old friend. “Yes, I’m being so-called blasphemed. But what they say is really true. Or even if the details aren’t true, it’s true that I’m not a qualified spiritual leader. The good thing about this criticism is that it makes me want to really improve myself. I’m hopeful that if I could just spend time chanting and hearing, I could make real progress.”
“Sounds good,” said Padma.
“But they won’t let me do it.”
“They?”
“Yamala and the devotees. They say my attempt to increase my sadhana means that I just want to be a babaji.”
“But what do you say?”
“I think the desire to increase sadhana is auspicious,” said Chota. “In my case I think I crucially need it at this particular point in my life. Otherwise, the more people praise me and sometimes criticize me, and the more leadership I assume, the more it becomes a farce. Even the greatest active preachers sometimes took considerable time out for self-cultivation.”
“Yes, of course. And what does Srila Prabhupada say about this?”
“You know he often criticizes those who go alone to chant Hare Krsna just to get some cheap reputation. But I don’t think those instructions are an absolute condemnation of bhajana. I’ve been noticing that there are many references to great devotees—even Lord Caitanya—going alone, avoiding crowds, and seeking solitary places. I heard that Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura chanted alone for ten years before he began his mission. And Srila Prabhupada did also when he lived in Vrndavana.”
“Speaking of solitude,” said Padma, “have you ever met the turtle who lives in the jungle? They say he’s an accomplished hermit and mystic. Maybe he could tell you something about it first-hand. Anyway, if you feel so convinced, why don’t you just spend more time chanting and reading?”
“Maybe I will,” said Chota, and he began thinking aloud. “Maybe right now I’ll take a three-day retreat. I’m supposed to be on this whirlwind tour to counteract propaganda. But I don’t think anyone would notice if I just disappeared for a few days.”
“Yeah, I think you should do it.”
pp. 188-190
There have always been cheaters posing as gurus. The current age presents a special dilemma. To begin with, as the ancient Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam predicts, most people are spiritually lazy and ignorant. It’s extremely difficult to stop the cheating “gurus” and “incarnations.” But Vaiṣṇavas (devotees of the Lord) have to try, at least, to expose them.
Nowadays, the cheaters are so brazen that even when caught in the most scandalous behavior, they matter-of-factly admit they’re cheating—because they know their followers will go on worshiping them anyway. One famous “guru” had an affair and tried to pass his consort off as the divine mother of the universe. After the divine union broke up, he simply said his mate was no longer the divine mother, and the “disciples” went along with it. Other so-called gurus make drastic doctrinal shifts whenever it seems their popularity is slipping. After all, next year’s meditational techniques may make this year’s eternal truths look passe.
One positive note—the recent wide distribution of authentic translations of ancient India’s Vedic literatures, which draw a clear line between the cheaters and the genuine teachers:
The pseudo svāmīs and yogīs and man-made gods do not believe in the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and thus they are known as pāṣaṇḍīs, offenders. They themselves are fallen and cheated, because they do not know the real path of spiritual advancement, and whoever goes to them is certainly cheated in his turn. When one is thus cheated, he sometimes takes shelter of the real followers of Vedic principles, who teach everyone to worship the Supreme Personality of Godhead according to the directions of the Vedic literatures.
—Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 5.14.30
In other words, if you want to find a bona fide guru, you have to consult the standard literatures (the Vedic literatures) and the standard spiritual masters, who come in disciplic succession (paramparā) from Lord Kṛṣṇa. Five thousand years ago the Vedic literatures were put into written form by an incarnation of Kṛṣṇa named Vyāsadeva, and even today the spiritual master’s chair is called a vyāsāsana. To sit there, a guru has to teach exactly what Vyāsa did, and he has to be a disciple of a spiritual master who comes in succession from Vyāsa. Another symptom: the guru’s life must show that he is personally convinced of the message the Vedic literatures set forth—namely, “Worship the Supreme Personality of Godhead.”
It’s much in vogue today to say that all teachings are the same. “Take any path you want,” the cheaters say. “They all lead to the same place.” But common sense says that if you buy an airline ticket to New York, you’d better not try to hop a plane to L.A. And the Upaniṣads say, “One result is obtained by worshiping the supreme cause of all causes, and another is obtained by worshiping that which is not supreme.” Different forms of worship or meditation will lead you to different goals.
Nor can a genuine guru be a debauchee or a “New Age” hero given to mundane psychology, frivolous sports, rock music, or other whimsical games and speculations. Even self-realized persons have to follow basic standards of morality. Avoidance of illicit sex, meat eating, gambling, and intoxication is prerequisite not just for some people but for anyone interested in actual spiritual life. A real guru has to be a humble representative of the Supreme, a servant of God.
The whole purpose for going to a spiritual teacher is to find the genuine path of God-realization and self-realization. But if we go to a cheater, we’re only cheating ourselves; we’ll have to stay within the cycle of repeated birth and death. Anyone who is actually sincere about finding the genuine path shouldn’t conclude that all spiritual life is a fraud, even in the midst of this bad age.
The human form of life is meant for self-realization, so we have to take guidance from a genuine spiritual master. As the Vedic literatures inform us, God is within each person’s heart, and when someone is actually sincere about finding the genuine path back to Godhead, the Lord will guide him from within. When he meets a pure devotee of the Lord, the Lord will confirm it from within: “Yes, you can inquire from this guru.” By sincerely inquiring and hearing from a bona fide spiritual master, we will reawaken our natural, eternal, joyous relationship with God. What we need first of all is sincerity. That will help us avoid sensational, concocted paths, and it will lead us to real knowledge and advancement in spiritual life, no matter how bizarrely the fools carry on in their caricature of spirituality.
Back to Godhead, 13(8) (August 1978): NOTES FROM THE EDITOR
pp. 114-16
Prabhupada singing:
hare krsna hare krsna, krsna krsna hare hare
hare rama hare rama, rama rama hare hare
I have been speaking the radio shows down by the lake, but since yesterday, big trucks have been going down there to pick up rocks. Let’s see if I can get out early enough that I don’t run into them. Just in case, though, I’ll talk as I walk down there.
Prabhupada asked, “Who is crazy?” It’s not difficult to find a crazy person—he said that in 1968 in Los Angeles as he saw the cars going back and forth, back and forth all day long. They’re crazy,” he said, meaning, “What are they doing?” Their commercial endeavors are especially useless, especially in a city like Los Angeles where despite their serious intentions, everything can be finished with one earthquake. An earthquake has destroyed the roads? Don’t worry! Within hours, they have arranged new roads upon which they can continue their serious back- and-forth travel. Prabhupada questioned whether it was really so different from a dog’s running back and forth, or a cat’s.
Of course, as he said that, I thought, “Well, you’re really stepping on some toes here! I mean, would he stop it all?” And of course, Prabhupada knew he couldn’t stop it. Devotees are not stoppers through violent aggression, so who will notice if one sadhu is standing on the sidewalk saying, “This is crazy, all this back and forth for sense gratification”? It seems of no account except to a handful of followers.
But it is of definite account to those followers, and those followers are out making it of account to others. And besides that, it becomes of account as those followers are taught by the sadhu to use the inevitable energy being generated out there in Krsna’s service. We too get into cars and go out for Krsna’s purpose. Beyond the activity of driving back and forth on crowded freeways is the motive behind it, and that’s what makes the difference between someone caught in a world of craziness and a devotee.
Sadhus should speak the truth. Prabhupada said that the real purpose of human life was to awaken to our constitutional spiritual nature as Krsna’s servants and those of us who were willing to go out and tell others that message were real welfare workers. Prabhupada conceded that other welfare work is nice—hospitals, and so on—but that those other forms of charity have little ultimate value. He compared it to finding a lost child and discovering that he is actually the son of a rich man. It is far better for the child’s ongoing improvement to carry him back to his father than to give him a free meal. Similarly, it’s better if we carry people back to their true father than tend only to their bodies.
And, of course, the sadhu’s words are not of no account if they are part of the message carried to others. They weigh so much that they will be heard and taken into the hearts of people and applied. That’s how Krsna consciousness is spread. Imagine if the preaching were so successful that numbers of people became devotees. Whole constituencies! Then we would see the craziness diminish. People would begin to wonder themselves why they were working so hard, driven on by the modes of passion and ignorance. What about these people here? Why are they working so many hours to remove stone from a lakeside and to put it somewhere else? Yes, people would ask themselves that question.
pp. 192-94
My desire for reform is not just a literary dance so I can write books to help others. It’s a real desire for improvement, although I can’t seem to translate it into practical work. Each time I pick up the beads, it’s the same thing, more or less.
Increasing the number of rounds daily appears to have the potential to help me. That hasn’t occurred yet, but it may. I will give this much effort and try for more, even if there is no tangible result.
O chanter, chant your best. I forgive you for your
lacking, but you must work harder if you expect the
Lord’s blessings to rain on you.
I’m chanting fast, I’m chanting straight,
chanting for all I’m worth.
I watch the clock, I watch my watch I
strive to push them through.
This chanting is the greatest work a
man can do. Please push on and
never give up. I trust in you and
believe you will succeed.
Every day I try to write something about japa, just a little short essay. It’s hard to think of something new. The experience is always new. There is always new opportunity. It’s like life itself. Krsna gives you a new day every day until your death. Yesterday Kaulini told us that when she was in the emergency room and they were taking blood from her, she was very staunchly chanting Hare Krsna mantras. She said this is not her custom, as she is a shy person. Every once in a while she would say to the doctors and nurses, “I’m sorry, I hope I’m not disturbing anyone,” but then she would get back to her life-and-death chanting. She knew that this was a crucial moment for her because she was near death, and she had to chant as the most important thing in her life, regardless of embarrassing people around her. We should always chant like that, knowing that this is our crucial hour. Think like King Kulasekhara, that at the time of death it may be hard for me to chant, so let me die now chanting while I can in a healthy state of mind. By that he meant that while chanting in a healthy state of mind, he would not chant blandly but would chant with great excitement and fervor and concentration. This must be done by a serious person, and he should put all his energy into it. There are so many other things that we have to do in Krsna consciousness, such as write books, broadcast Krsna consciousness, do financial business, and tend to our material bodies. But when it is time for chanting the Hare Krsna mantra, we somehow have to put these things aside and concentrate on the murmuring of Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. We’re like railroad trains that have to stay on the track. The tracks are very rigid. To go off the tracks would cause complete disaster and death. So we have to stay on the track. I stayed on the track today, but somehow I was not as enthused as I would have liked to have been, not so fully engaged. I may have been keeping other thoughts out of my mind, but the thoughts of chanting Krsna’s names were not foremost in my mind. I was just going on automatic pilot and concentrating on the accumulation of the rounds. Accumulation is very important, but it is not everything. I pray to improve.
Here he comes, another day another chance
given by the Lord. Will he take the lead and
win the race or will he lag behind at an
uninspired pace? We should be rooting for
our chanting and if necessary applying the
whip.
Chanting is a calm thing, a peaceful, easy
yajña, but it must be done with fervor and
grace if you want to win the race. By “win” I
mean you pay attention and your senses are
enlivened. Your heart beats Krsna and Radha,
and you think of Them with precious mind.
“Read api cet su-duracaro. The devotee’s faults are like the marks of a rabbit one sees on the moon. Glad I got up early. The densely populated campground is mostly silent now, campers breathing in and out in tents and caravans as my pen scratches away, ladybug helping me through, the light of the good desk lamp like a transparent yellow liquid flowing down onto the page. It’s welcome. The ink meets it in a dance of rapture.
“Krsna consciousness is not a tag we add onto our writing or our lives. It’s not a label on a shirt or sweater, ‘Made in a Union Shop.’ It’s the warp and woof of the threads themselves. It either is or isn’t Krsna conscious. Of course, by deliberate action we put Krsna in our sentence, although He is already everywhere. I bow to Him and beg Him to inspire me. He said to Arjuna, ‘You should engage in My devotional service.’ He meant it for Arjuna and everyone. ‘Therefore having come to this temporary and miserable world, engage in loving service to Me.’ We were fools to come here. Now we should know it’s ‘not habitable for any sane gentleman.’ Get out as quickly as possible. ‘Take to My devotional service and come quickly back to Godhead, back home.’
“Bhagavad-gita (9.30) admits the power of the material energy. A sincere devotee may accidentally fall down. We shouldn’t find fault with him. Bg. 9.33 states that we have come here to this dangerous place. My writing tells, unearths the worms of my past and tells of the worms’ present proximity. I keep away from the dangers of illicit sex, which I may compare to poisonous snakes slithering outside the van in this campsite. I may mention it; I may say it’s here just so we can avoid it. (Some will object that I put down the material world; that’s another kind of criticism of devotional writing.)
“I name the spade. Don’t be adversely affected. Dear reader, if you have a problem with this, if you are quick to take objection, perhaps you had better not read me. Kierkegaard dedicated many of his books to ‘that individual whom with joy and gratitude I call my reader.’ I am the first reader, the one who draws the direct benefit.
There is joy of creativity,
and responsibility.
“Time in ISKCON passes fast because
our whole time with Prabhupada took
place in a little over ten years.
Now 30 years has gone by in a flash.
“When Krsna appears, it’s always good.
A prisoner in Colorado detention wrote me,
‘At night I think over events of the day and feel
grateful to Krsna and Prabhupada.’ I wrote him
back and said he was as good as a monk in a
monastery; the world of prison forces him to
find shelter in the blissful Krsna conscious realm
of Vrndavana, spiritual thoughts, maha-mantra.
“In ISKCON temples, in the evening
only a few attend the last arati
when Radha and Krsna stand in Their nightclothes.
After the arati the pujari puts
Them to bed. He may be tired,
but if he’s attentive and doesn’t feel angry,
(“Why am I on the altar at night?”)
he’s grateful and moves,
clean in thoughts and body, under the lights, his
careful hands arranging for overnight,
he says goodnight, recites prayers from the book,
turns out the lights, locks up. By then he
may be the only one awake, except some
late-comer begging for maha-prasadam or a
sankirtana devotee returning from the streets.
Maybe a mouse.
I’m leaving this altar in the same way.
‘Good night, Lords. Please allow me to come back
and serve You early in the morning.
May it never end, from
this world to the next. May You always
enjoy Your pastimes in this temple, inconceivably.
May I be worthy.’
The pujari steps off the altar and
in front of the carved doors, bows and offers
prayers for relief from offenses committed during worship.”
“The heater is humming.
We are back from our walk.
I could have talked out loud on the
lonely sea beach; it’s a vast theater
all to myself. Ideal for poets.
But I preferred to chant Your names,
two rounds.
“I look out at the ocean breakers, dawn
hasn’t arrived yet. I could talk, something
would come day after day, creative
in this lonely, grand place.
I think about that but decide
I’ll go on chanting and hearing.
Later perhaps I can remember some of it.
“I walk for as long as I can—less than an hour
before my ankle gives in and
I start remembering
how I broke both heels 30 years ago—
the doctor in the hospital looked at me
sympathetically, but as if I were crazy
and had jumped out a window.
Thank God I didn’t die then.
I thank You, Lord Acyuta,
for immense fortune, the matchless gifts
You give me every day.
You are giving them to all of us
if we can just wake up
to receive them.”
Bombay
21st January, 1971
My Dear Satsvarupa,
Please accept my blessings and offer the same to your good wife Jadurani. I am in due receipt of your letter dated 7th January 1971, along with the enclosed articles, as well as the ISKCON Press newsletter dated January 5th, 1971.
I beg to thank you very much for the magazine interview. You have so rightly said, “It’s a hellish life without Krsna.” These words of yours have pleased me so much. Actually it is a fact, and one who has become so disgusted with material life is actually advanced in Krsna consciousness. This is first class propaganda, and it will be a hammer blow to the proponents of materialism and atheism. I am so glad that you are feeling and speaking like this, and I thank you very much. The article appears to be in a nice magazine, so if you can get further articles and interviews published in the magazines, that will be a great boon to our Movement.
It is nice to hear that the sannyasi staying there is sacrificing his Mayavadi philosophy and willing to accept the regulative principles of devotional service. I have received his letter and will reply it separately.
So far as ISKCON Press moving to NY is concerned, if Advaita feels it will benefit the Press, then why not? From your description it appears that Advaita has found a better place, and if he is taking on the responsibility of expanding the Press, then he should definitely go there. For technical matters, let Advaita go on workingnindependently. He is certainly competent. So far as decisionmaking regarding contents of publications, etc., that can be done separately.
It appears from the Press report that progress is going on with Bhagavatam Second Canto, but slowly. It will be nice if you please accelerate it.
In answer to the artist’s questions:
Hoping this will meet you in good health.
Your ever well-wisher,
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
This is a letter to me as the Temple President of Boston. ISKCON Press and its approximately 40 or 50 workers were planning to leave Boston and move to Brooklyn. This would be a great decrease in the population of the Boston temple. Actually, they didn’t find a much better location in Brooklyn. In Boston there had been a conflict with Advaita not wanting to attend the morning program and the temple devotees expecting him to attend. So he wanted to get free of that pressure. I don’t know if in Brooklyn the Temple President didn’t put pressure on him to attend the morning program. I think there was some continued pressure on him about that, and Prabhupada once wrote a letter to Brooklyn that if Advaita couldn’t attend the morning program then the Press could be shut down.
I was very happy that Prabhupada was so pleased by the magazine article. He loved my statement, “It’s a hellish life without Krsna.” He considered it great propaganda. We occasionally got coverage by magazines and newspapers, but it wasn’t always favorable. In one article that was published while Prabhupada was visiting us, the interviewer said something about us being hippies. Prabhupada was disturbed by this. It may have had an effect on the real estate agent who was trying to get us a new building. For that particular reason, Prabhupada was unhappy with the author of the article.
I think this sannyasi mentioned in the letter didn’t develop into a Krsna devotee. His Mayavadi philosophy stayed with him, and when Prabhupada heard this he said we should not allow the sannyasi to stay in the temple.
It was not unusual for the artists to ask details about what to paint. They didn’t know how many arms Visnu should have and various other details, and how to present them visually. So Prabhupada supplied the authorized information, and the painters carried it out in parampara. He said their paintings were like windows on the spiritual world. The access they had to Prabhupada in asking him questions was a great advantage and assured that their paintings would be authorized. Once a devotee painted a picture of Krsna lamenting and holding His hand on His head. Prabhupada didn’t like it and said that Krsna doesn’t lament. The artist said, “Could we title it `Krsna Has a Headache’ [referring to the pastime story of the time Krsna had a headache and asked for the dust of His devotees’ feet as a cure]? Prabhupada accepted this title of “Krsna Has a Headache.”
pp. 297-299
“Some devotees became confused by their Godbrothers’ and Godsisters’ rousing calls for competition and rivalry. This seemed like the rivalry of the material world, which they had hoped to leave forever. Srila Prabhupada, however, explained the proper attitude of transcendental competition:
“‘Competition and profiteering spirit are always there in the living entity. It is not that they can be artificially removed in some matter. Factually we saw in Russia that by removing competition and profit calculation from society the people were not at all happy, and still these things are going on. So we shall not expect that we are any different.
Only difference is, that our profit is for Krishna’s pleasure, and our competition is how to please Krishna more than someone else. Even amongst the Gopis there is competition to please Krishna, and there is envy also. But this envy is not material, it is transcendental. They are thinking, ‘Oh, she has done something more wonderful than me, that is very nice, but now let me do something even more wonderful,’ like that. So I am pleased that you desire for competition with your Godbrothers to spread Krishna Consciousness Movement all over the world by printing our books.
pp. 636-637
“At the mention of New York, he began to remember his first days there.
“I was like a street boy. I was going here and there, sightseeing. I was in New York City, but one morning I saw all the walls were white. “How have they become white? Who has whitewashed them?” I thought. I went downstairs, and there was so much snow. I went with an umbrella and purchased a pack of milk in the snow. At that time I was living in a dungeon. It was always dark. But I didn’t care’ Whatever difficulty, I didn’t care. I only wanted to preach. Sometimes people would touch me, like men on the Bowery, but no one was inimical. Everyone was friendly. Even the bums. When I went to enter my New York building, the bums would get up from where they were lying down and let me pass by. I couldn’t understand the difference between friends and enemies.”
Prabhupada said a friend of his had been shocked to hear that he was moving to the Bowery. ‘Oh, Swamiji,’ his friend had said, ‘you have gone to Bowery Street? It is a horrible place!’
“I passed through many dangers,’ continued Prabhupada, ‘yet I couldn’t understand that, “Here is danger.” Everywhere I thought, “This is my home.”
pp. 725-26
“Prabhupada was in good spirits, however, despite his age and lingering sickness. He appeared strong, and six months in India had tanned him a golden, healthy hue. He always sat straight and smiled often. He walked with a cane, yet upright, with a quick step, tiring his young disciples who attempted to keep up with him. He even mentioned that if his inability to sleep continued, he would have more time for writing his books.
“Gone was the mindlessness of his young followers who had thought previously that Swamiji, because he was a pure devotee, should be let to do any strenuous activities he liked, working all night or singing and playing the mådaìga for hours in the park. Now the devotees had become concerned and protective, trying always to arrange for his ease, suggesting when they thought something was too strenuous for him. Usually, however, Prabhupäda would give the last word on what he would or would not do. When Yamuna and Janaki arrived from San Francisco, they decided that if Swamiji were to get well he would require a special diet. So they devised a regimen featuring small servings of boiled vegetables without salt, spices, or ghee. At first Prabhupada gently submitted to their requests. But on trying their meals, he commented, ‘These vegetables are nasty. They are not fit for eating.’ After three days, when Govinda dasi told him of some new reductions in his diet, he roared, ‘Tell the starvation committee to go to hell! You feed me.’”
Melbourne
10 February 1973
“My Dear Satsvarupa,
“Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter dated January 22nd, and 23rd and have noted the contents carefully. I am very much encouraged that you are taking this program of preaching to the college students seriously and this is very important program. Regarding your various questions. First let us understand that polygamy cannot be permitted in our Society. Legally it is impossible and neither are there many of our devotees who are prepared to assume the responsibility for many wives. Therefore as I have suggested previously as they do in Christian religion they have so many convents where the women stay, and they receive protection. The point is that the women must be protected, and it is the duties of the leaders of our society to see that this is carried out.
“Your program for those who are desiring to take sannyasa is approved by me and I request that you make something concrete and distribute it to all the other GBC members and amongst yourselves you may decide who will take sannyasa.
“Your question in regard to marriage, we must impress upon the parties involved that Krishna Conscious marriage is not some cheap thing that may be embraced whimsically and at any time thrown off. The boy and girl must be willing to accept each other for life and be prepared to get a job if need be and live in an outside apartment and raise children. These points should be emphasized.
“Regarding your preaching to individuals, you must use your discretion in this regard. But one thing. Those who come to learn must admit that they do not know who they are, or do they know who is God, and they must be prepared to take to this process. If I go to the physician and ask him will you please tell me all about medicine and I will write it down, is that possible? No. You must take to the process. You must enter the medical school, take your internship and do so many things. Like this if you want spiritual knowledge you must take to the process and follow the principles. So therefore if you are spending so much time with individuals they must first admit that they do not know who they are and they do not know who is God. These two things are completely lacking in modern educational systems. And then after admitting these things they must be willing to take to the process. Then they can obtain spiritual knowledge.
“As far as staying in some boy’s apartment, this is permissable if everyone in the house agrees to follow the principles while you are there. That is, no smoking, no drinking, etc. You may also install a small altar there with a picture of Guru and Gauranga and the Spiritual Masters there and perform mangala arati every morning and hold classes etc. Under these circumstances you can live in others apartments. The point is we must not lower our position but we must educate others to come up to our standards. Regarding your writing, you must know that it is the duty of sannyasa to write always to save the cripple-minded man and woman. In fact sannyasa must do everything.
“I hope this meets you in good health.
“Your ever well-wisher,
“A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami”
Srila Prabhupada very much approves our program of preaching to college students, and he says it is a very important program. He gives advice about polygamy, about approval for devotees to take sannyasa, and advice about marriage. He writes that the boy and girl getting married must be willing to accept each other for life, and the man should be prepared to get an outside job if necessary, live in an apartment and raise children.
I told Prabhupada that I was spending time preaching to individuals. He replies that I must use my discretion. Those who I talk to must admit that they do not know who they are and that they do not know who God is. And they must be prepared to take to the process of bhakti. If I’m spending so much time with individuals they must first admit that they do not know who they are or who is God. After admitting these things, they must be willing to take to the process.
I asked him if it was permissible to stay in a college student’s apartment. He says it was permissible provided everyone in the house agrees to follow the principles while I am there. I should also hold a regular morning program with an altar, spiritual pictures, performance of mangala-arati and holding classes. “We must not lower our position, but we must educate others to come up to our standard.”
I asked Prabhupada about writing. Again he says that it is the duty of sannyasa to write always, “to save the cripple-minded man and woman.”
******
“Sydney
“15 February 1973
“Los Angeles
“My Dear Satsvarupa,
“Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter dated nil and I have noted the contents carefully. I am very pleased to hear of your determination in spreading this Krsna Consciousness philosophy on all these campuses. This is a very important program. Right from the beginning of my mission, I have always stressed and encouraged my disciples to work with the college students. You should not be discouraged if people are not coming to your meetings. We are trying to please Krsna. That is all. We simply must go on with our business, to the best of our ability. We must always sincerely try to do our best with great determination. This is the transcendental position. Success or failure, this is not our business. We leave that up to Krsna. My Guru Maharaja said, it does not matter if anyone comes to hear. You go on with your chanting. If no one hears you, the walls will hear. But this does not mean that we should sit down someplace and simply chant Hare Krishna for our own benefit. We should be always anxious to save the cripple minded people with the science of Krishna Consciousness. This is the position of a Vaisnava. One disciple of Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Vasudeva Datta prayed to Lord Caitanya, please Caitanya Mahaprabhu, take all these people back to Home, back to Godhead and I will suffer for their sins. Like this, this is the attitude of a pure Vaisnava. Actually the true Vaisnava, he is the only true humanitarian in the world today, for he is interested in the well-being of all living entities. So you will continue on and consult with Karandhara and the other GBC men and formulate some program to preach this Krsna Consciousness in the colleges and this will please me very much. I am approving of the initiation of John Favors who is now to be called GHANASYAMA DASA. From your description he is to be a very nice and intelligent boy so please train him up properly. You may send his beads on to Kirtanananda Maharaja for chanting.
“I hope this meets you in good health.
“Your ever well-wisher,
“A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami”
At the time I wrote this letter I was immersed in preaching at the colleges. Prabhupada endorses that it is a very important program and one that he has stressed, beginning with his mission. He says that I should not be discouraged if people are not coming to my meetings. “We are trying to please Krsna. That is all.” Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati said if no one hears you, the walls will hear your chanting. But this does not mean we should simply chant Hare Krsna for our own benefit. We should always be anxious to save conditioned souls with the science of Krsna consciousness. He urges me to consult the other GBC men and formulate programs to preach in the colleges, and this will please him very much.
He appreciates the initiation of John Favors. He was a wonderful newcomer to our group. He took part in the college preaching programs and was exemplary in his enthusiasm and in his personal sadhana. I wrote to Prabhupada enthusiastically praising John Favors, and he notes it. He approves his initiation and writes that he should now be called Ghanasyama dasa. (Later he would take sannyasa and become a great preacher known as Bhakti-Tirtha Swami.)
“In height he was maybe 5’5”. A nondevotee would say, ‘a small man.’ Most of his disciples stood taller than he. But we didn’t think like that, that he was a little man. If we saw reporters describe him as a little man, it didn’t make sense. That was obviously the defective vision of the nondevotee. (His servant once said, ‘For someone who is supposed to be small, it takes all your energy to cover his back to massage it. I can’t understand it!’) His shoe size was 8, his sweater size around 36”. The palms of his hands were soft and boldly lined, with long, firm life lines.
“There was something protective that came out of his disciples in the fact that Prabhupada’s height was shorter. We wanted to be sure to protect him because he was so great, so valuable, our spiritual master. In the company of karmis or in the company of devotees, he was regal as he walked with his cane, not at all like a ‘small’ or ‘old’ man. Any person, regardless of his physical stature, would approach Prabhupada respectfully, deferring to him. Prabhupada was elderly and a gentleman and was almost always treated in that way, very respectfully. Because when he spoke he was very refined and proper, he himself proclaimed his spiritual mission by his every action, and people could see that for themselves.
“Usually accompanying him were his Western disciples, who were very worshipful of Prabhupada; that was also impressive. He was not alone, but with his servants; if he looked small, still he controlled others who were tall; therefore he was taller than they. He had strength; he would say his mind was strong. His face was not small, nor was his aristocratic nose and full mouth; his eyes were large. Again, these contradicted the ‘small man’ idea. He was saint, sadhu, not small. He didn’t sit small. His voice was deep, could be gruff, loud, commanding—not small. His control of big men like Brahmananda, Jayapataka, Bhavananda was complete. His word, the raising of his eyebrows, or the turn of his mouth could humiliate them utterly or drive them running into action. And he wrote so many books. He was not small. But if he chose, he could be like a child and you had to care for him completely; that was his love.”
“Srila Prabhupada once said that whenever a manuscript of his was printed and published as a book he felt as if he had just conquered an empire, so for his disciples, it was also an opportunity for intimate association to be able to prepare his books for printing and to bring him an advance copy fresh from the printer.
“When Canto 7, Part 2, of the Srimad-Bhagavatam was printed, Srila Prabhupada was staying at the New York City ISKCON center. Ramesvara Swami and Radha-vallabha had gone to the airport and received the first two copies by special freight. It was about 2 A.M. when they returned to the temple. Eager to present the book to Prabhupada, they took the elevator up to his rooms on the eleventh floor. The light was on in his sitting room. Quietly opening his door, they found that he was not there. They went again into the hall and saw the light on in the bathroom. With child-like glee, barely controlling their laughter, they each hid a book behind their backs and waited, smiling, to present it to Prabhupada. When Prabhupada came out, he saw them and said, ‘Oh, you are here?’ He noticed they were holding something behind their backs and trying to control their smiling. ‘You have something for me?’ he said, perfectly reciprocating their mood. He then walked ahead into the sitting room, looking playfully over his shoulder, and invited them, ‘Come on!’
“When they handed Srila Prabhupada the books, he exclaimed, ‘Aaah!’ and immediately took one and touched it to his head. He looked at the cover and then turned the book and looked at the back cover. He opened up the front page and read aloud the selected epithet verse. He went through the front matter page by page and then carefully looked at all the pictures. Then Srila Prabhupada started reading the book aloud, from ‘Prahlada Pacifies the Lord with Prayers.’ The joyful presentation party merged into the ecstasy of a Bhagavatam reading by Srila Prabhupada. He read on for about forty minutes, seemingly oblivious to everything else.”
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.