His Holiness Satsvarupa dasa Goswami Maharaja
Vyasa-puja Birthday Celebration
Saturday, December 7, 2024What
Meeting of Disciples and friends of SDG
Where
The Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall
845 Hudson Avenue
Stuyvesant Falls, New York 12174There is plenty of parking near the Hall. The facility is just a few minutes’ walk from SDG’s home at 909 Albany Ave.
Schedule
- 10:00 –10:30 A.M.: Kirtana
- 10:30 – 11:15 A.M.: Presentation by Satsvarupa Maharaja
- 11:15 – 12:30 A.M.: Book Table
- 12:30 – 1:15 P.M.: Arati and kirtana
- 1:15 – 2:15 P.M.: Prasadam Feast
Contact
Baladeva Vidyabhusana at [email protected] or (518) 754-1108
Krsna dasi at [email protected] or (518) 822-7636
“Satsvarupa Maharaja fell twice on Saturday trying to use the bedside potty without assistance. He ended up with a few good-size bruises and a sharp pain in his left shoulder. On Monday the doctor gave a prescription for an X-ray, but Satsvarupa Maharaja wouldn’t go to get it done until Wednesday . . . (patient’s rights). The results came in negative for a fracture today, so that was a relief. He remains feeling a little banged up in general, but upbeat about having a new writing project to take his attention off of his pains.
ys,
Baladeva”
Chanting japa with a clear head is a great gift. I was able to do it, unaware of pain. The time went by slowly, although I was pushing. Japa must be an intense endeavor. It is not a laid-back thing. As you chant, you simultaneously brush out the thoughts, like using a hand brush and a dustpan. You keep your mind clean. As for thinking of the pastimes of Radha and Krsna, I have not reached that stage. I am a mantra-chanter. I am trying to avoid the ten offenses in chanting. On one level, I’m doing it pretty well, but not going further. I don’t blaspheme devotees. I don’t consider the names of the demigods as equal or independent of the name of Krsna. I don’t doubt the scriptures; I don’t take the chanting as exaggeration or make an interpretation of it. I chant with attention. I don’t commit sinful activities on the strength of chanting. I don’t consider the chanting a material act of piety. I don’t teach the chanting of the holy names to faithless persons. I don’t chant for material benefits. I try to avoid these basic offenses. But I don’t cry out to Krsna and Radha, “Please let me serve You.” I don’t dwell on Their sweet pastimes . . .
******
Bhaktivinoda Thakura has made a reversal of the ten offenses and taken them all in a positive way. As an example, instead of the first offense being, “Don’t blaspheme devotees,” he says you should always be happy when you see the devotees. I haven’t achieved all his positive reversals. I don’t chant fully from the heart. I don’t manifest any bodily symptoms of ecstasy. So I still chant out of duty, not spontaneity . . . Don’t be disappointed, but don’t think you have reached the stage of bhava. Keep chanting like a workhorse. “Giddy-up!”
******
O pitiful chanter, when will
you reach the grace of ecstatic
mantras in the footsteps of the
acaryas, who have won this
race? When will you chant with
happy face?
******
You chant your japa quickly and then slowly. Sometimes you get sleepy. You have heard that even negligent japa brings great benefit, so powerful is hari-nama. The names are more merciful than Krsna the person. They are Krsna in the form of sacred syllables. You try to vibrate them out loud, loudly, but you’re not always successful. But you always push them out. You ask your body to cooperate, but it is slowing down and ailing. Even Haridasa Thakura began to chant fewer rounds in his old age, but Lord Caitanya told him not to worry, he was already liberated. In his prime, Haridasa chanted three hundred thousand names a day. The saints gave it all they had, and the Lord empowered them. Their chanting was suddha-sattva, completely transcendental, with no offenses. They saw Krsna in His names. They loved to chant and never diverted their attention. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux compared herself to a little sparrow who looked up to the great eagles, the saints like Teresa of Avila. I want to be like that, a little worshiping sparrow looking up admiringly at the great ones.
******
You’re not really chanting as well
as you claim you are. There are
mountains and mountains ahead of
higher achievement. You are only
in the foothills of hari-nama.
But you’re grateful to be living in
Hare Krsna space, breathing the
rare air of transcendental sound
vibration. Your spiritual master has
given you a great gift, you owe it
to him to lift yourself higher to
chant without offense. Go into
your heart and cry out for the
mercy, don’t be content with the
quota.
******
It’s such a good thing when you chant your japa decently. It brightens your day. You feel hope for the ultimate goal. After all, chanting is the prime necessity, the easiest way to achieve love of God. In fact, it’s the only way in Kali-yuga . . . I was happy this morning to do a decent job. Now I’ll go on to chant another eight rounds; I hope I don’t fall asleep. Keep your determination, your prayers. Keep clicking away at a rapid pace, and stay alert. Chanting may not seem like a big celebration, like eating pizza or having a festival. In its quiet way, it is actually the happiest time. The greatest self-satisfaction: you feel at peace.
******
Japa japa japa, the repeating
mantras roll. When you’re awake,
you’re happy, your heart feels warm
with joy.
Japa japa japa, repetition
without boredom, the repetition
of the heartbeat without which
you will die.
Japa japa japa,
may I chant until my last breath.
Japa japa japa, you put me to
rest but never resting, always
more, moving on to another life
with japa japa japa.
I pray to the holy name:
“Please forgive me.
Please accept me.
Thank You!”
******
vacyam vacakam ity udeti bhavato nama svarupa-dvayam
purvasmat param eva hanta karunam tatrapi janimahe
yas tasmin vihitaparadha-nivahah prani samantad bhaved
asyenedam upasya so ‘pi hi sadanandambudhau majjati
“O Lord! You manifest in two different forms, as He who is Named and as the Name. Of the two, I consider the second to be more merciful than the first. Even if one has committed countless offenses to the Named, one can still be immersed in an ocean of ambrosia by worshiping the Name.” (Srila Rupa Gosvami, “Namastakam” 6)
******
I offer my obeisances to Srila Prabhupada and to Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati and Gaura-kisora dasa Babaji. These are the real persons in my life. These are the real persons in my life. I accept them as guides, not the persons I accepted earlier in my life. I am entitled to change. I offer respects and loving prayers to the parampara–Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Narottama dasa Thakura, Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura, Krsnadasa Kaviraja, the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana. I pray to Lord Caitanya and all His associates, especially for the mercy of Lord Nityananda. I pray to Lord Krsna and Srimati Radharani and all the Vrajavasis. I wish my japa was conducted in Vraja.
pp. 112-14
I want to pray to You today to ask You to give me the desire to hear and chant about Your pastimes. I think this is the greatest blessing I could ask from You. This is the blessing possessed by Your great devotees. More than anything else, I want to be with You by the process of hearing about You and chanting Your names.
Once I possess this gift, I will naturally want to give it to others. Unless people are consumed with the desire to know You and be with You, they will not have a desire to share it with others. It is like that even in the material world. If a person is very excited about baseball, he wants to be with others to hear about baseball, to talk about it with them, attend baseball games, watch the results and root for his home team. There are many radio and television shows and newspapers where various sports are discussed, and people participate in the discussions with great interest. They phone in to experts and give their opinions and ask questions about the latest news in sports. They live in a whole world of interest in whatever sport it may be—horse racing, NASCAR, baseball, football, and so on. And the same is true with those people who are political “junkies.”
To gain an interest in You, O Lord, one has to also associate with Your devotees, read the scriptures with Your activities and take part in the sadhana practices, which inspire them even more to take part in krsna-katha. I have reached a certain stage where I am very interested in Your activities, and I want to develop my relationship with You. But it is not enough. It is not all-consuming. The great devotees hear of nothing else, they speak of nothing else, they take part in nothing else but talks of You and Radha and Your associates. They are consumed with the desire to tell others about this to increase the interests in Krsna consciousness around the world. They have this desire because they know that Krsna consciousness is the most valuable thing in the world. They have become convinced of this, and now it has become their entire life. I want to increase my consuming interest in You so that I become a person like Narada Muni, who always sings Your glories and tells others of Your glories. Can You help me to increase my absorption in You? I know You can do it, because You can do anything. You an even decrease a person’s interest in You if they are offensive. You can certainly increase a person’s interest in You if they show signs of desire to be Your unflinching devotee. But will You do it? I know this depends in large part on my own willingness and interest to be consumed by Your pastimes. When You see my interest is increasing, then You will gladly increase it more and fill me with interest in You.
Much of this has to do with learning, education in the importance of Vedic knowledge. When I come to understand that I need You more than anything else and that nothing else is of importance, then naturally my interest will increase, and You will reciprocate with me. Prabhupada has said that religion without philosophy is fanaticism, and philosophy without religion is dry mental speculation. I must increase my knowledge of the importance of Krsna consciousness so that You will fill my mind with a desire to love You more. Please fill my philosophy with the desire to know You and make my religion a burning desire for bhakti.
I am petitioning You for all these improvements because I believe that nothing can take place without Your mercy. I pray for Your mercy to make me a better devotee. I want to improve, and yet, frankly, I do not see myself improving rapidly, or at all. What choice do I have, then, but to pray to You for impetus to work? Please enlighten me in one way or another in the importance of working for Krsna consciousness and striving by my own sweat and blood to improve. My exclusive concentration on Krsna consciousness must come from my own conviction, and You must be the convincing agent. Please forgive me for this helplessly dependent prayer, but I see no other way than to ask for Your mercy. Please make me strong. Please make me desire to be strong. Please claim me as Your own.
pp. 4-8
The devotee’s desire is to execute the Lord’s mission. Krsna is the Supreme Person. Any emotion can be purified if it is felt in relation to the Supreme Person. For instance, hankering. Hankering in material life, in forgetfulness of Krsna, is the cause for bondage, misery, but if I can hanker after my sweet, eternal relationship with Krsna, and if in that mood I chant the holy names, Hare Krsna Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare—then that is the perfection of existence and I will feel ecstatic bliss of love of God, just as the gopis did. Any emotion, when dovetailed in transcendental loving service to Krsna, the Supreme Person, is pure, righteous, and eternal.
Theory and realization—there is a world of difference. What have I realized? What do I know of spiritual life? It can only be as much as I have practiced. Where can I get this engagement? Only from the self-realized pure devotee spiritual master. Go to him. Serve him. He will teach me how to love God.
Let the children play at krsna-lila. They can play that one is a cowherd boy and some are cows. Let them eat their food without their hands, off the ground, with their mouths. They’ll like it. Let them play like that for an hour and then fifteen minutes for ABC. So it is not monotonous.
The gopis’ love for Krsna was beyond the regulative principles. The last word in regulative principle is to always think of Krsna; they could never forget Krsna. Therefore, no need of regulative principle. Like the devotee who prays, “Farewell my bathing,” etc. “I will just sit and think of Govinda.” But don’t imitate.
Krsna never leaves Vrndavana.
For someone in this country, a thousand dollars is not much. Any gentleman can afford a thousand dollars.
GBC means tour extensively, not sit in one place and pass resolutions. They must be active. They must act like me (an old man traveling everywhere). Travel extensively.
Extensive touring means expanding the mission. (Karandhara has an extensive field locally in L.A.) Simply touring is not required. Do something substantial to increase the Society’s interests. One must take multi-responsibilities. We must expand. The framework of expansion has been done by me. Just like a skyscraper building. So far the framework, I have done it with your help. It is an important movement. It is not a farce. They are kept in darkness about God and we are delivering God. That must be pushed. What is your opinion? They say there is no God, we say here is God. What do you think? We have to push on with conviction. God is a person. We give you His name and address. If you have got any doubt whether Krsna is God, then you cannot do it. . . . If you are not convinced, how you can convince others? Whether you are all convinced on this point (that Krsna is God). What is your opinion? So far I am concerned—I am convinced and therefore I am pushing on. It is a fact I am pushing on because I am pushing on on fact, not fiction. That much I am personally convinced. Whenever someone says, “You believe,” I say, “No, I don’t `believe’—it is fact.” It is not a question of believe or not believe. God is there. God must be there. Your believing or not believing doesn’t matter. People are in misconception. God theories: God is dead, God is impersonal, everyone is God. But it is not theory. We have got positive presentation. With that conviction you have to push on so you have to be prepared in that way. Opposing elements you have to face. By your arguments, by your knowledge. This is required. At least we must have faith in that way. Knowledge comes from Brahma. He said, to Krsna: “Yes, You are God. You appear to be a child but You are God.” Brahma is giving support. If we follow Brahma. Isvarah paramah krsna/ sac-cid-ananda-vigrahah anadir adir govindah/ sarva-karana-karanam (—Bs., text 1) Vedanta-sutra confirms that He is the source of everything. You must spread your conviction by your literature, argument, preaching, facing opposing elements. Our advancement means the more we meet opposing elements.
The local president and treasurer (of the temple) will manage. The GBC can supervise that things are going on. The first management is that each and every member is chanting sixteen rounds and following the regulations. Otherwise, where is our spiritual strength? Haridasa Thakura, such an exalted personality, so advanced in his numerical chanting (he never stopped). Therefore he was given nama-acarya. Even at the time of his death. Three hundred thousand names daily. He is an example. Sixteen rounds is not a very large number. The lowest in India is twenty. See that the members are chanting. Then you do other things.
pp. 73-76
tathapy ekanta-bhakteṣu
pasya bhupanukampitam
yan me ’suṁs tyajataḥ sakṣat
krsno darsanam agatahYet, despite His being equally kind to everyone, He has graciously come before me while I am ending my life, for I am His unflinching servitor. — Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.9.22
These words were spoken by Bhisma as he lay on the bed of arrows. Srila Prabhupada writes that Bhisma certainly was destined to go back to Godhead. Yet he was humbly thinking that it was not settled: “Actually, I will probably not attain Krsna.” But Krsna mercifully came before Bhisma, just so that Bhisma could think of Him. Then Bhisma thought, “I see You now, Krsna. This is Your mercy, because after I leave this body I may not see You.” This was his humility.
Srila Prabhupada explains,
“The appearance of Lord Krsna at the deathbed of Bhismaji is due to his being an unflinching devotee of the Lord. Arjuna had some bodily relation with Krsna, because the Lord happened to be his maternal cousin. But Bhisma had no such bodily relation. Therefore, the cause of attraction was due to the intimate relation of the soul . . . . The best way to establish our relation with the Lord, in transcendental sweetness, is to approach Him through His recognized devotees. One should not try to establish the relation directly. There must be a via medium which is transparent and competent to lead us to the right path.”
So Bhisma likes to think of Krsna as the friend of Arjuna. And when you address Krsna in this way, it is very, pleasing to Him. As for ourselves, we approach Krsna through our connection with Srila Prabhupada. For us, who is Krsna but Prabhupada’s worshipable Lord?
Krsna is the father of all living beings, the seed-giving father. We know Him as the Deity installed by Srila Prabhupada or the speaker of the Bhagavad-gita, which Srila Prabhupada has given us. As the pure devotees think of Krsna’s dealings with eternally liberated souls, like His friends and mother, so we can think of Krsna by thinking of our spiritual master and thinking of his different activities of service to Lord Krsna. Srila Prabhupada’s activities are not manifest any more, but that doesn’t mean we can’t meditate on them. Krsna Himself performed activities for 125 years, and then He left. And the world is still remembering those pastimes.
Now the point is that when we remember Srila Prabhupada we can remember Krsna. We are following the instructions of the spiritual master in spreading Krsna consciousness very actively. But to do that and simultaneously taste the transcendental mellow in it, you have to be feeling your relationship with Krsna through the spiritual master. When we perform our devotional service, sometimes it seems very worldly. For example, we have many business affairs in pushing on the Krsna consciousness movement. But by chanting Hare Krsna and going to the morning devotional program in the temple and hearing about Krsna throughout the day, we acquire that taste which sustains our service. Thinking of Srila Prabhupada includes remembering his pastimes as well as his instructions. His instructions are, of course, more important, but if we can actually understand what is being described here, and relish Krsna in His dealings with those who are dear to Him, then we will taste the sweetness. And why shouldn’t we take advantage if there is something sweetly intimate and reciprocal between Krsna and a devotee? If we can enter into that sweetness, then; our service will be sweeter. And Bhisma is relishing the sweetness of thinking about Krsna and His intimate dealings with His devotees, not just as the absolute controller of all living beings. And this kind of devotional service is more advanced in love of God.
We are trying to study Bhisma’s passing away in its own right, of course, but also as a parallel or reminder of Srila Prabhupada. Bhisma was an expert religionist who could speak in a way that would appeal to everyone present. And although he was physically so inconvenienced, he was able to speak the highest philosophy.
Therefore, all the great sages had come, and Krsna was there in His spiritual form. When Krsna comes to the material world, He maintains His eternal form, as does His pure devotee. Such a devotee is called jivan-mukta. But the atheistic disbelievers not only doubt that the pure devotee has a spiritual body; they even doubt that Krsna is actually spiritual. They think that anyone who comes to the material world must be materially covered. We should not misunderstand this.
The body of a jivan-mukta (eternally liberated soul) is not different than Krsna’s eternal body. There is a difference, but Srila Prabhupada said it’s like the difference between a solid gold box and a gold-plated box. For all practical purposes, the gold-plated box serves the same as the solid gold box. If one is fully engaged in Krsna consciousness, then Krsna accepts him as fully spiritual. A great saintly person’s body is considered spiritual, and therefore it is not cremated. Although the spiritual master’s body is made of the material elements, because he uses his body fully in Krsna’s service, it has a totally transcendental quality. Still, because it is ultimately made of these material elements, it tends to become old, and eventually he gives it up. But he is not affected by this change of body. That should be understood.
pp. 6-9
This is the “Changing Bodies” display,
something instructive about mankind.
Let’s watch it.
Can you see down there on the left?
It’s a human skull!
Beside it is an embryo-
it’s definitely symbolic, because
you would never find an embryo
lying on the ground
unless maybe some clinic threw it out.
See above the embryo?
There is a chubby baby
lying in clover.
Now see a continuous stream
of light,
the soul is transferring
from the baby on his back
to a baby that crawls,
then a baby that walks,
playing with a hoop,
then a stick (his legs are getting stronger),
now he’s an athlete,
then an almost grown-up schoolboy,
and there in the center of the page—
the perfection!
A broad-chested man with a red toga.
The rest is not so interesting, but I
get the idea, one grows older, but
does it mean
we have to go exactly like that,
with a white beard?
Of course, when you get that old,
then you are talking of death . . .
In the distance
see the light-stream is carrying off the spark,
to another young body, and far off,
another growing older, a death again,
then you can’t see it any more;
there is just a shining sun
over a dark plain, and nothing else;
it is all over.
It’s interesting, but what
does it have to do with me?
Because He is the ideal
preacher of Krsna’s message in
this age, the picture of Lord
Caitanya belongs in Bhagavad-
gita. “Be thou happy by this
yajna. Its performance will
bestow everything upon you for
living happily
and achieving liberation.”
Everyone may hear
and join the chanting
led by Lord Krsna
in His most merciful form.
His feet on the road,
make bright-day shadows.
The earth and grass, palm
trees and parijatas, all
join with Him in
resounding kirtana.
Thousands of years ago,
in bodies that do not burn,
Lord Krsna first taught
the Gita to the sun-god,
four-armed, gold-helmeted Vivasvan.
Vivasvan taught the yoga
to the father of mankind
and Manu instructed it to Iksvaku.
When I first heard this from Srila Prabhupada
I thought, “This link is wonderful—
going back trillions of years
to ancient, mystical India
like a ray of light a short time
and the whole length alive
so when the teacher of today speaks
you can touch eternity,
provided he speaks
what Krsna said.”
Arjuna wondered,
How could my friend
speak so long ago
to a god in the sun?
He forgot
the many lives he had passed,
but Krsna remembered them.
Sanjaya sees all by his
mystic vision, and so
may we today by
following parampara.
When there is a decline in religion
and a rise in irreligion,
the Lord appears
in many transcendental forms:
the original is Krsna.
The bluish boy,
His toe in a stream,
plays on His flute,
He who is the source of everything;
and the sun and moon move in fear of Him.
“But why not Lord Buddha? What about Christ?
Who is the Fish?
Who is this Boar?
What is this Lion-Man,
and why does He kill?
Aren’t these stories,
like the epic of Rama?”
With his eyes he cannot
see, the science of God,
but as he hears from
Bhagavad-gita
a sincere soul
will gradually see
God in His tortoise pastime,
the Earth-uplifting Boar,
the Lion-Man Protector:
the Universal Form who pierces His foot
through the shell of the universe,
the Supreme Rama and His consort Sita,
Buddha, Christ, Mohammed,
the avenging Prince on a white horse,
and Sri Krsna, the Source,
in the groves of Vrndavana.
At Ramana-reti
by the river Yamuna
there is a back road
where trees and people and animals
meet at a junction.
But there is no confrontation
if you can see
the soul and Supersoul.
I want to go there
and see the cow and dog
and the dog-eater and the brahmana
and see the soul in each,
and see the Supersoul in each.
I’ll not be afraid of the elephant,
I will not curse the dog-eater
or torture the dog,
and the brahmana I will respect
because Lord Visnu is in his heart.
His youthful body glows
a beautiful blue,
His smile dries up the ocean of tears.
and His arched eyebrows
conquer the god of love.
Visnu, Madhava, Vasudeva, Krsna,
You are fully present in Your name,
but I have to give myself
starting with surrender of my tongue. I’ll
chant Hare Krsna
and bow down in Your temple.
You will accept me
as I hear the Bhagavatam.
In a solitary place he has to go
without material desire, and
the result of renunciation is
that Krsna is pleased and
reveals Himself in the heart
of the yogi.
But it is not so easy.
He will have to practice
for hundreds of years
while vines grow up his forearms
and his nails and hair grow astonishingly long.
His eyes roll upwards,
and tigers roam in the night.
But if he dies during the dark moon
then his soul will come back again
to the worlds of death.
No one knows this
form of Visnu
except His devotee.
His arms and head are blue,
his chest is fire-red,
the water gushing is his hips,
and his legs are earthen,
this man who runs
through the universe.
And he is afraid
as he looks back,
as he runs through the darkness.
How could any person be as big
as Maha-Visnu?
“He has to be that big for
the universe to come out
from His pores.”
Things that are inconceivable
cannot be argued by logic.
Sri Krsna is smaller in His original form,
yet the Big, and everything
emanates from Him.
Truth and beauty is Visnu! The
beautiful form of a youth, who is
Supreme Godhead, eternity,
knowledge, and bliss. With any
one of His senses He can
perform all functions. He
impregnates with His eyes and
He eats by hearing prayers.
So when the universes emanate
from Visnu’s gigantic body that
is a small task for Him,
because His real enjoyment is
above, in Goloka
where He jauntily leans
on His cowherd staff and
calls the spotted cows.
pp. 117-20
In the next series, Bhaktivinoda Thakura begins each song with the word “Gurudeva!” Gurudeva, you gave me this place in Godruma in the forest of Gauda and instructed me to live here and sing hari-nama. But when will you give me the competence to actually do it? “When will my mind become tranquil and fixed? When will I endure all hardships and serve Lord Hari without distraction?” (Saraṇagati, 7.10.2). He expresses himself as he did before, troubled by illness, old age, and anxiety. How to understand this?
One way to see it is that he is reminding us that until we are perfected, we will have ups and downs. Bhaktivinoda Thakura has described brilliant states of elevation and given glimpses into eternal Vraja, but he continues to set into his Saraṇagati reminders that the body still claims us, and our anxieties are not over until we leave this world behind once and for all. It is his method of instruction. He continues to cry as a fallen soul, begging at the feet of his gurudeva.
Gurudeva! krpa-bindu diva, koro’ ei dase trnapekha ati hina: we all love to sing this song, even if we are not expert singers. I sing it while riding in the van; others sing it to themselves while shopping or waiting for luggage at the airport. “Gurudeva! By a drop of your mercy make this servant of yours more humble than a blade of grass. Give me strength to bear all trials and troubles, and free me from all desires for personal honor” (Saraṇagati , 7.11.1).
We may doubt how the devotee accepts his guru as the medium to all Kṛṣṇa’s instructions and blessings. How can a disciple pray to his guru for intelligence as if his guru were the Supersoul? This question is especially true when the guru has already left the planet.
But the liberated Vaiṣṇava spiritual master is sākṣād-dharitvena, the direct representative of Kṛṣṇa. He can do anything that Kṛṣṇa can do for the sincere disciple. Bhaktivinod Thakura is not concocting or exaggerating. This is our siddhānta. It is also in tune with the disciple’s emotions. His guru has always been the bedrock of his spiritual life.
Kṛṣṇa consciousness begins and ends in guru-seva. “When I examine myself, I find nothing of value. Your mercy is therefore essential to me.” Gurudeva! kabe mora sei dina ha’be: “When, with a steady mind in a secluded place, will I sing the name of Sri Kṛṣṇa? When will the pandemonium of worldly existence no longer echo in my ears and the diseases of the body remain far away?” (Saranagati, 7.12.1). Bhaktivinoda Thakura hankers for the sattvika ecstasies, the tears of love that come when chanting Hare Krsna. When, even in this body, will he be able to constantly sing the holy name in this way?
Gurudeva! He awaits the day when, by Gurudeva’s mercy, he will be able to know the eternal reality of Lord Gauranga’s nitya-lila. The Panca-tattva will flood the entire universe with the intoxicating nectar of the holy name. Devotees everywhere will perform maha-sankirtana. By singing his songs in solitude, Bhaktivinoda Thakura envisions the spreading of the bliss of Lord Caitanya’s lila. Who could guess that it would take place? Now the devotees are gathering from all the countries of the world, including China and Russia, America and Africa, the Caribbean and France—all countries big and small, in Mayapur, to chant the names of Sri Sacinandana and Gaurahari. This has taken place.
O Gurudeva! Please let me be part of your mission. Let me serve the devotees. Let me speak your glories. Protect me from pride and vanity, from the madness of self-centered life. Let me not be daunted, even if “materialists will throw dirt at my body and proclaim me thoroughly mad.” Let me weep to seek your mercy, and let me be assured that I am yours. Unless I can work for you, what good is anything to me?
pp. 153-56
Dear friends,
I like the opportunity to be able to speak with you, and regularly. It’s a kind of continual feast for me in that regard, because for weeks and months at a time I’m not able to write these letters. So let me not hold back.
As I was leaving the cottage today, our friend Prabhupada dasa was alone in a darkened room chanting his japa. I think he was pretty much awake. His chanting was a droning monotone, but there was something very steady and persistent about it. I had just been upstairs reading a letter he had written me. Instead of going to Dublin he’s staying with us this weekend, but he wrote that he was feeling anxiety that he wasn’t out on the street distributing books, as is his custom. So I appreciate his determination and dedication to distribute books. I was thinking maybe his japa gets its steadiness from that austerity. And I was also thinking how much of our japa sounds joyless.
As for myself, I have to admit my chanting this morning didn’t have the steadiness I heard in Prabhupada dasa’s chanting. I was actually falling asleep during at least one round. And the very first rounds I chanted were interrupted by “great ideas.” You know what that’s like. There I was with all the paraphernalia—votive candles on the altar—and not even halfway through the first round I had a “great” idea for editing my writings. So I had to stop and write a note to my editor. I’m saying this in a half-jesting way, although I know it’s a serious thing. I think it is a foible I share with most devotees. But if we could associate with more serious and more joyful japa chanters and become more aware of the overwhelming glories of nama-sankirtana and japa specifically, maybe we could do something more productive than joke about our foibles. This seems like something worth writing to you about and hearing your response.
But maybe I’m offering something of a utopian solution, that we should find some japa mahatma and associate with him. The one or two times I found a very advanced japa chanter, he mostly kept the chanting to himself. I find that when my chanting gets really bad I’m indulging in distracted thoughts, and that’s when I have no recourse but to put on Prabhupada’s japa tape. One Godbrother told me that we must remember the japa tape by Prabhupada is a kind of public performance. It was recorded in the temple room during an initiation ceremony, so he was demonstrating japa to an audience of beginning devotees. Nevertheless, it is potent, and so many of us depend on it to sustain us from our indulgence in distracted thoughts.
One thought I indulged in this morning was about baseball. It’s so stubborn of us, so tamasic, so wasteful to dwell on distracted thoughts instead of putting conscious effort into hearing the holy names. Was there really any enjoyment in my thinking about the old baseball memory? No. And was there any benefit? No. But I did it, and one continues to do such things. We either chew the chewed from thirty or forty years ago, or come up with “great” ideas in the middle of our rounds.
One thing is clear: When our chanting is at this low level, when we chant just to get the rounds done, it’s a sure sign of the low level of our Krsna consciousness. At least it can make us humble, but it also should signal to us that we have to do something. I hope talking about these things is not another kind of wasteful indulgence, but that it will be an act of reform. I pray to Krsna again, please let me pay attention to the holy names.
When things come to the mind during japa, we don’t even think of them as distractions. So while I was chanting, a fox appeared on the little narrow road in front of me and then ran into the bushes. I began thinking about him. What if he hadn’t been afraid? What if he had confronted me? Then this led me to think of an article I had, seen in a newsletter from the ISKCON farm in Saranagati about bears. A devotee described at length how a bear kept coming around his house and what he did to scare him. He finally opened the door and let out a scream from the bottom of his being and the bear became scared and ran away. So the train of thought goes from one thing to another. How far away it goes. The way to solve this, the only way, is to attain actual attraction and devotion in prema. Prema has to be a solid emotion, a solid concentration. Then, even when some memory of 1951 baseball playoffs wants to enter, or the sighting of a fox prompts the mind to think of something about bears, these things will just bounce off and not enter the solid prema meditation. In the meantime, we can at least try to post a guard outside our shaky meditation chamber and give him the orders to chase away these unwanted guests.
pp. 15-17
I want to make it clear that I never forgot Chota, Yamala, and Arjuna. I always expected to see them again. When we first parted it was a shock, probably for them too, but I started recalling them in substantial ways. If you have a Krsna conscious relationship with someone, you benefit even when you’re apart. This is the Vaisnava philosophy of separation. Devotees used to joke with me and say I’d become a mouse in my next body for thinking of them, but I don’t think of “mice.” When I recall Chota, I think of preaching to conditioned souls and of valuable instructions for my own spiritual life and Vedic stories of devotees inducing animals to chant Hare Krsna. You wouldn’t say, would you, that Ajamila became a child in his next life just because he thought of his own child, Narayana? No—because when he said, “Narayana,” he said the name of God. (And Visvanatha Cakravarti says that Ajamila thought of the original Narayana when he said his child’s name.) So by thinking of Chota, I don’t meditate on dumb rodents running out of holes to scavenge food. Thinking of them turns me from my usual maya to more responsible devotional behavior and a spirit for spreading Krsna consciousness. I know that sounds odd (or crazy), but that’s how it works.
For the first few days after I left my mice, I missed being with them all the time. But when I saw how truly empty Puja dasa was, it helped me count my own blessings and pick up the positive side of my feelings of separation.
When I’m in a bad situation, or just in the normal routine, I think of how Chota was grateful to have any Krsna consciousness, and how he tried to do little things for Krsna. We can’t imagine, for example, what a big thing it is for a mouse to control his sense gratification while eating. To “honor” prasadam instead of just ripping it open and eating it is itself devotional service. And if a person can chant Hare Krsna nicely, that also is very pleasing to Krsna. So no service is “small time” if by “small” you mean stupid and displeasing to Krsna. I usually forget how to render even little acts in a way to please Krsna and guru, but when I do remember, it’s usually by remembering how Chota preached in little ways. When I think of the mice, I think of their humble, grateful, enthusiastic service. Does it sound like I’ll become a mouse by thinking of Chota? I don’t think so. Whenever I think of them I get fired up to pray to Krsna and remember that I want to be His friend and servant. At least I realize better how insignificant I am.
Those mice are devotees. Krsna allows some creatures in lowly species to teach us valuable things. You can learn devotion even from the snakes, dogs, birds, and butterflies, so what to speak of, as sometimes happens, a creature who is able to chant and hear. It’s possible.
I like the way Gurudeva deals with me in this regard. He has never said, “Nimai, you have to prove to me scientifically that these mice can talk to you. Until I hear it I won’t believe it and I forbid you to keep these mice or think about them.” No, he just saw the gold in the filthy place (me). It did not seem important to him how much Krsna consciousness was being communicated between me and the mice. But Gurudeva knew that something good was there. So I want to be like that. I mean, I just want to be happy with the ability Krsna has given me to remember Him and to serve Him, even in little ways, and all the time if possible. And when I think of Chota, that helps me to be Krsna conscious. So why should anybody object and why should I think I have to prove something?
pp. 44-46
It’s cold out. I’m glad of that because it will keep people away from this resort area. I’m writing three times a day for an hour at a stretch. A writing session means coming to the page and emptying out my pockets. I’m building up to something. I’m not sure how usable it will be, but I have faith it will have value.
The only way for me to have faith in writing sessions is to consider them devotional service and acceptable to Krsna. I was reading in Prabhupada’s book that a devotee may not immediately feel the results of his devotional service, but he performs it anyway with faith that it’s doing good and that Krsna is the protector. If we offer something to Krsna, then we’ll be satisfied. It’s not so important that we feel something. It can be enough to feel dutiful and loving toward the spiritual master’s order.
Now I’m writing in a way that I have developed, you could say, on my own. I have strong attachment to, and conviction about, it. It’s a little bit unorthodox, but I have to pursue it anyway. To be out on such a limb, I have to have faith—not just faith in a mundane mind-revealing process of writing, but faith that the sincere offering will be accepted by Krsna and will produce something wonderful as Prabhupada asked us to do.
Although my “something wonderful” is not a helium balloon with the maha-mantra emblazoned on it floating over the city of Bombay, or wonderfully sculpted Jagannatha Deities or a Jagannatha cart, or a big sum of money, it’s still something the spiritual master can appreciate. I fear he may not appreciate it. He asks, “What are you doing?”
“Oh, I’m free-writing three times a day.”
When he finally hears it out, he might wonder where this fits into the sankirtana movement, but I can show him that it does fit in because it’s kirtana and anartha-nivrtti.
I write whatever comes and try to purify it. In this way, I keep making myself more fit to be a serious devotee and trying to become pure. And the end result is good writing that strikes other devotee readers as authentic.
Sometimes I think about talking to Prabhupada about my writing. If Prabhupada asks me, it won’t be necessary to go into all the intricacies of the professional vocation. Just tell him what it is. I’m writing about Krsna, and I’m writing about how I may improve in Krsna consciousness so I can share it with other devotees. I’m writing instructions on how to practice Krsna consciousness. I’m giving examples of how to overcome anarthas and ways to see Krsna in whatever we do. Sometimes I read and write down the texts and express the in my own words. I encourage devotees that whatever service they do is also part of the sankirtana movement. I try to avoid the too controversial and political issues that devotees talk about, and remind them that the most important thing is chanting and hearing.
When I describe my writing like that, it sounds positive. This is all I have to say if someone asks me to explain it, even my spiritual master.
Does that sound strange? It sounds like I’m withholding information from Srila Prabhupada. But I’m not. I’m just saying that it’s such an internal and technical thing, having to do with the nuts and bolts of my service. It might not even be appropriate to tell Prabhupada all that, even though it’s part of what I’m doing.
Let me think of an example. Say you were doing electrical work in the temple. The spiritual master asks, “What service are you doing?” You say, “I’m doing electrical work. Sometimes the devotees blow a fuse, and I correct it, and in general, I see that all the wiring is in order.” That’s a very general description. If you started getting into all the technical details, it might not be appropriate. It may not even be appropriate if you started saying something like, “I’m not sure it is the service I want to do or if it is acceptable to you.” You could raise some questions, but all I’m saying is that every last doubt that occurs to you about your service, or every description of what it is does not need to be passed before the spiritual master. He wants to know results, the effect it has on others, the effect it has on you, and whether you have been instructed to do it by an authority.
Prabhupada knows that my life is open to him because I’m writing before his eyes. What can I say? I’m drawn to it and I am offering it.
One may say, “Well, why do you write something that is so liable to be doubtful, that is quirky, and so on, so full of yourself and the past?” The answer is that when I go to write what comes, that’s what comes. That’s who I am. I’d rather not be pretentious and take up my work as if it’s something different than my inner feelings. That wouldn’t make sense to me. My work is my inner feelings—learning how to express them.
pp. 52-53
The days of yore when a man
thought ISKCON takes care
and all he had to do was wear
the saffron and preach and teach
and God would pay the bill.
The Society for Krishna all over
the world in union under
the pure devotee.
Right now, the midges have gone from the yard, the sky is clear and so is my head, so I’m sitting on the bench. A few fat bumblebees go from flower to flower. Some birds clucking in the trees. A crow. The plants and flowers are thriving. Soft wind sound and no other sounds upon this hill.
Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna. A pure devotee loves to chant the Lord’s name, and he sees Krishna in all things. I can’t do that. Walk around a little, utter a Hare Krishna here and there . . . white butterfly. The outline of the hills is sharp. Watching the bee suck out the honey. When he’s finished at one flower, he flies out to nearby plants, sometimes lands briefly in a place he finds no interest in and goes off again, looking for some honey. He’s working under nature’s law.
I write, my honey-seeking, -sucking work. Scratch. Prayed. My pains are not as sharp as they used to be. But just see how clearly I thought this morning when pain was at its height. Got out of the embarrassment of a one-man art show put on by my disciples.
Bright light. So much to do. Brief lives in the garden, butterfly, tiny flowers, bees, and old me, human emperor of the species. He gets a chance to worship God, to liberate himself from birth and death. Rare form of life, gained after long evolution. And within the human form it is very rare to meet a pure devotee and serve him. But still he’s wanting, falls short.
In Bhagavad-gita, Krishna calls it yoga-brashta. The yogi who can’t complete the job for going back to Godhead in this particular lifespan. He gets another chance. At least he doesn’t go to a lower species where forgetfulness of God is prominent. But any life in this material world is risky.
Official proclaimed faith, official humility and motive—and what is the actual? Do you think, “I probably don’t rate going back to Godhead, but I prefer not to even think of what it will be like to come back again to this miserable world—at least I’m gaining some devotional credits”?
Get the right attitude before death. Krishna knows what you really think and desire and deserve. You are helplessly under His control. So why not surrender? But love? Love is freely offered. We have to discover it within us. Hare Krishna.
Walk, stop at the glistening stream and look down. Remember when you were younger? Did you find it thrilling to see this pastoral scene, the calf milking the cow, the old bridge, the water, shiny and rippling over the rocks? Remember once in Canada on liberty from the ship you went alone and wrote a poem in natural setting, full of sadness and self-pity to be a prisoner in the Navy?
Hare Krishna. Today you walked faster as the book tells you to do, but then slowed down. An old unshorn sheep came onto the road, dragging its limp, left rear foot behind, running to get away from me.
Purple flowers. Pick one for your altar. Got a new assistant. I don’t deserve. Getting fat from cakes and Depakote and chubby literary lies. Don’t be cruel to a love that’s true. I want to be a nice guy, not the werewolf.
Caw. Caw. Alone. Read books.
Tell the world (whoever reads this)
my day, my hours were like this.
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.