JAPA REPORT
Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 11 P.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I used the walker
to go into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began using my precautionary measures:
slow, silent, the eye mask.
I yearned for darsana but restricted it
out of caution. This increased
my anticipation to see Them later.
I practiced “just hear.”
This method is suitable to me
and the one I am capable of.
You just chant and hear attentively
with no other meditation. Although I
couldn’t see Radha-Govinda, I acknowledged
that Radha and Krishna are the heart
of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of
Their names and uttered as a prayer
to be engaged in Their service.
Although there are higher stages of perfection
in japa, “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the holy name
is non-different from Krishna Himself,
and absorbs himself in the
transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare quality of japa. I prayed
to attain perfection in this method.
I kept up the slow pace
for the whole time and
developed no eyestrain.
With my eyes closed,
I lost track of time
and “spaced out.”
I chanted thirty extra mantras
before I finished the set.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began the second set
still at a slow pace
and free from eyestrain.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind,
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly,
but I was distracted by planning
what to write in the Japa Report.
I rationed it and tolerated it.
Nevertheless, I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the holy name.
So my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(Avoiding sinful reactions
and attaining liberation
are not the goal of japa. The
real goal is attaining pure devotional service,
or love of God. But I mention
the other attainments because
they are preliminary effects.
A pure devotee does not care for them
but only wants Krishna prema.
I chant continually and
patiently wait for the
mercy of Prabhupada,
Lord Caitanya and Radha-Krishna.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with ample minutes to spare.
I began the third set
in the same good condition.
I avoided mechanical chanting by cultivating
truthfulness and devotional feelings. For
the truth, I adhered to “just hear.”
Done conscientiously, it can bring you
to a prayer state and crying
out to Krishna. For feelings,
I thought of the sweetness of Radha and Krishna.
My eyes remained comfortable.
I finished my twelfth round
with ample minutes to spare on my quota.
I proceeded to the fourth set
maintaining the slow pace
and feeling peaceful
and confident that I
would meet my quota on time.
I called out to Krishna
for His blessings because it
is not possible for me
to do quality japa on
my own endeavor.
Halfway through I developed
a slight pain in my right eye.
It upset me because,
up to now, I was doing so well.
I tried my best with
the impediment. I completed
my sixteenth round with
ample minutes to spare.
But just as I finished,
the right eye pain got worse.
I took a Sumatriptan for migraine.
I considered it a half-decent session
with partial handicap.
I would have rated the session “good”
because I was doing so well on the
first three sets, but it was degraded to
“half-decent” by the pain on the fourth set.
I have been taking new pills to break
the cycle of daily migraine. I started
with two a day, and now I am down to
one a day, and soon I will stop them.
They have been effective
in breaking the cycle. I hope
without their protection, I will
not return to daily, chronic migraine.
Good points:
I finished each set with ample minutes to spare
while keeping the slow, silent pace.
I practiced attentive “just hear” the whole time.
At least I followed the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.