JAPA REPORT
Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered to me the wake-up rituals,
including a “pre-emptive strike” of
headache medicine.
I used the walker to go into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began chanting at a medium pace.
I went silently, with my eyes closed.
I felt particularly happy this morning,
doing japa in the early hours
in the sanctity of my bhajan-kutir.
I practiced “just hear.”
You just chant and hear attentively
with no other meditation.
I am capable of doing this.
Srila Prabhupada recommended it.
There are higher states of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is not different from Krishna Himself,
and absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
When I say “sound vibration” while chanting silently,
I mean the mantras are manifesting
in my mind as good as vocal chanting.
I developed the beginning stage of a twinge
in the right eye. But it wasn’t much,
and I tried to ignore it and take no medicine.
I estimated that I met my quota after four rounds
with ample minutes to spare. After this,
I took to writing my experience
in the Japa Report. I did this as a
change of pace and to reduce the tension
of constant chanting.
As I began the second set,
the right eye twinge was still present
and was persistent. I took
a second dose of headache medicine
and waited for it to bring relief.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
I was distracted by the eye impediment, and by
planning what to write in my Japa Report,
although the latter habit was reduced because
I had just written in my Japa Report.
Nevertheless, I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the holy names.
So my chanting was faulty.
But the mercy and the power of the maha-mantra
is so great that it vanquishes sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I recited the lines about the power
of the maha-mantra because,
despite my inadequacy, they give me confidence
that I am making progress by the
Absolute nature of the Names.
So I repeat them daily as assuring affirmations.)
I estimated that I met
my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
Then I turned again to
writing in my Japa Report.
As I began the third set,
the eye strain had reduced
a good deal. I try to
avoid mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness
and devotional feelings.
For being thoughtful, I adhere to “just hear.”
I was able to enter somewhat
into a prayer state and not merely
chant with external attention.
I said each mantra separately
at a moderate pace, and tried
to meditate on the meaning of
the Names. For feeling, I thought
of the sweetness of Radha-Govinda.
Although I could not see Them,
it increased my anticipation
to look at Them later. I acknowledged
that Radha-Krishna are the heart
of the Hare Krishna mantra.
Halfway through, my right eye
twinge reappeared. I have
been diagnosed as having
“anticipatory anxiety headaches.”
This means the psychological
fear of getting another headache
increases the likelihood of getting
another headache. But
I didn’t want to take more medicine
so I tolerated it, and eventually
it went down by itself. I estimated
that I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare on my quota.
Then I turned again to writing
in the Japa Report.
I proceeded to the fourth set
going at a moderate pace.
I called out to Krishna for His blessings,
because it is not possible for me
to do good japa on my own endeavor.
I thought it was a good set.
I was satisfied and relaxed,
practicing “just hear”
in a reflective mood.
My eye twinge went down.
I completed my sixteenth round,
meeting my overall quota
with minutes to spare.
I considered it a decent session,
although handicapped. I rated
it decent mainly because
I stayed with “just hear” the whole time.
I did not speed passionately,
but kept a moderate pace.
I felt exceptionally satisfied.