So much talking out loud. But I am not the center. Prayers to Krishna. He should be the center. I am insignificant. But I have to help myself. One of the main things I am trying to achieve is consciousness rather than unconsciousness; Krishna consciousness rather than material consciousness; awake rather than asleep.
When we try to pray, it soon becomes mechanical or unconscious. Even a prayer like My dear Lord Krishna, please have mercy on this sinner—although it is full of meaning—can become mechanical. The prayers are just for Krishna to hear and to be pleased by. I have to stay alive in them with my own devotion. He knows if it is just mechanical or from a heart actually praying. And worst of all is when the Hare Krishna mantra, our main means for going back to Godhead, becomes mechanical. So I am trying to move in a devotional way, to different thoughts of Krishna.
Please help me, my Lord, in doing this. You are the Lord in the heart. I want to serve Prabhupada and I know You will be pleased if I do. Grant me the ability to ask You to be my friend—
You always with me and Prabhupada with me. Separation from You means that one is feeling bereft. I want to feel that bereft and not try to be the dominant one. You are, and I simply want You to be my friend.
(_Entering the Life of Prayer_)