Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals,
including a pre-emptive strike
against headaches.
I walked into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I used all my precautionary methods
and began japa.
I practiced “just hear.”
This is the method
where you chant and hear
with no other meditation.
There are higher stages
of perfection in chanting,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands
that the Name
is non-different from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs
himself in the
transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
I then turned to the second set by
thinking of the two Names
Lord Caitanya had been given.
The learned brahmins noted
that since He had appeared,
there had been no famines.
And there had been sufficient rainfall. They
compared it to the advent of the Supreme Lord
when the various demons
had appeared to steal away the Vedic knowledge,
and the Maintainer of the Universe
had simultaneously appeared
to counteract the
stealing of the Vedas.
So the learned brahmins
called him Visvambhara.
The pious, elderly ladies
called him Nimai. Since
so many of Jagannatha Mitra and
Sacidevi’s children had been given birth
and then not survived, but died
prematurely, they gave Him the name
Nimai, which means one who survives
premature childbirth. I mulled over
the meaning of these names
and worshiped them. Although I was
chanting silently in my mind, I heard
the Names clearly, with attention and concern
to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I committed aparadha:
inattention to the Name,
so my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with mistakes
as I was doing. (As I recited the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra,
I changed it from a
deficit to an asset.
I uttered it as an affirmation
and promised myself to
repeat the lines positively.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
So far, I had met no contact
with eyestrain or headache,
and I was very grateful for that.
I began my third and fourth sets
at a sped-up rate, since I
was falling behind.
But I held on to the bead
for the full sixteen words
before moving on to the next bead.
I was alert and awake, but
not chanting at a deep, prayerful state.
I considered it a half-decent session
with no hindrances from eyestrain.
Halfway through, I lost
my vigor to speed. I
slowed down and chanted
without sharp focus,
so I considered it “half decent.”
I called out to Krishna for His blessings,
because it is not possible
for me to chant good japa
by my own endeavor.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.