Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I applied my precautionary measures
and began japa.
I practiced “just hear.”
It’s the method where
you just chant and hear
with no other meditation.
There are higher stages
of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands
that the Name is non-different
from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
Then I turned to writing in the Japa Report.
I began the second set
in the same way. Although
I was chanting silently in the mind,
I heard the Names clearly, attentively
and with concern to pronounce
the words properly. But
I was distracted by planning
what to write in the
next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name,
so my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare. Again I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the third set
emphasizing speed
as a priority over quality
because I was falling behind.
But I didn’t rush recklessly. I held
on to the bead until the
sixteen words were finished
before moving on to the
next bead. I stayed
alert and awake to
each individual mantra.
But my attention
was external, not an inward
prayer.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare on the quota.
I proceeded to the fourth set
with even more concentration
on speed.
I avoided merely
mechanical chanting
by cultivating
thoughtfulness and devotional feelings.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to
“just hear.” This enabled me to
pay attention to the mantras
one at a time with no
mixing or missing.
For feelings, I associated with the sweetness
of Radha-Govinda, recognizing that
They were the heart
of the Hare Krishna mantra,
uttered as a prayer for
engagement in Their service.
I completed my sixteenth round
with minutes to spare on the overall quota.
I considered it a “half-decent” session.
For the whole time I experienced no
physical pain and prayed my thanks
for this, compared to former days.
I wasn’t devotional enough or
moderate enough in my speed-pace
to rate the session as “decent.”
At least I follow the process
of doing a fixed number of rounds
in obedience to the order
of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.