Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I kept my eyes open and began japa.
I practiced “just hear” –
that method where you
just chant and hear
with no other meditation.
There are higher stages
of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who realizes that the Name
is nondifferent from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself in
the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I turned
to writing in the Japa Report.
I began the second set at a moderate pace.
Although I was chanting silently
in my mind, I heard the Names
clearly, with attention and concern
to pronounce the words properly.
When I say “I heard” the Names,
I mean the mantras resounded
in my mind as good as vocal chanting.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in the next Japa Report
so I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name,
and my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
I use them as affirmations
that give me confidence
that I am making progress,
even though I am committing mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began the third set
at a moderate pace.
I tried to avoid mere
mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness
and devotional feelings.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered
to “just hear.” That enabled me
to keep the mantras separately
without missing or mixing them.
I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I remained alert and wide awake,
but I didn’t call out to Krishna
for His blessing, although
I can’t do good japa
on my own endeavor.
I recited mostly externally
without entering into
an internal, prayer mood.
For devotional feeling, I
looked at Radha-Govinda
and that enlivened me,
although I could not
sustain it for long.
I had a slight twinge
in my right eye.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare on the quota.
On the fourth set, I emphasized
speed as a priority
over quality. I still heard
the mantras separately
without slurring, but I
was external, not in a
prayerful state of mind.
My right eye twinge increased,
and I took a migraine pill.
I completed sixteen rounds
with minutes to spare
on the overall quota.
I did not consider it a good session.
I emphasized speed and external chanting
over quality. I was handicapped
with a headache.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.