Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began to chant at a moderate pace.
I practiced “just hear” –
the method where you just
chant and hear with no other meditation.
I am capable of this
and comfortable with it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is Krishna Himself
and absorbs himself in chanting
the transcendental sound vibration,
has achieved a rare state of japa.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
Then I turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the second set
at a brisk pace.
I was chanting silently in the mind,
but I heard the Names clearly,
attentively, and with concern
to pronounce the Names properly.
But I was distracted by
planning what to write
in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Names, so
my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes previous sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and gradually brings one to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections.
(I like to recite these lines
about the power of the maha-mantra;
they give me confidence that
I am making progress, even
when chanting with mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began my third set with emphasis
on speed, a priority over quality.
I didn’t call on Krishna
for His blessings, although
I cannot do good japa
on my own endeavor.
I kept external attention
by holding on to the bead
until the mantra was
finished before moving
on to the next bead. But
I didn’t enter an
inward period of prayerfulness.
On beginning the fourth set,
by focusing on speed
in a controlled way, I
was able to finish all
my rounds on time.
I followed the process
of doing the prescribed
number of rounds
in obedience
to the order of the spiritual master,
the sacred vow.
I did not feel
physical pain until
the very end of
chanting on my beads.