Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace.
I practiced “just hear,” the method
where you attentively chant and hear
with no other meditation.
I am capable of this
and feel comfortable doing it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is non-different from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in the Japa Report.
I began the second set at a moderate pace.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, attentively, and
with concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
I use them as affirmations.
They give me confidence that
I am making progress, even
when I am making mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds,
with minutes to spare.
Chanting two sets at a moderate pace,
I felt I had fallen behind.
I switched to a speedy pace
on the third set. I still
held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I tried to avoid mere mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness
and devotional feelings. For
thoughtfulness, I adhered to
“just hear.” This enabled me
to keep the mantras separate,
without mixing or missing them.
I was able to pay attention,
but it was external; I couldn’t
turn to an inward state
or enter the life of prayer.
For feeling, I looked at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their lovely sweetness.
I recognized that Radha-Krishna are
the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer
for engagement in Their service.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare. So far
I felt no eyestrain or headache,
and I was grateful for that.
On the fourth set I continued
emphasizing speed as
a priority over quality.
I called out to Krishna for His blessing,
because it is not possible for me to
do good japa on my own endeavor.
I completed my sixteenth round,
but I lost track of the time.
I chanted an extra forty mantras
before finishing the set.
I met my overall quota
with minutes to spare.
I considered it a decent session.
I clearly enunciated the mantras
on all the rounds. I couldn’t
attain a crying, prayerful attitude,
but stayed alert and wide awake.
I had no handicap of physical
pain for the entire session.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.