I couldn’t get to sleep last night
and had a headache at 10:00 P.M.
I took pills and went back to sleep.
Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you attentively
chant and hear with no other meditation.
I am capable of this
and comfortable with it.
There are higher stages of perfection
in japa, but “just hear” is elevated in
itself. Anyone who understands that
the Name is non-different from
Krishna Himself, and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not achieve this rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the second set at a moderate pace.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning ahead
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha,
inattention to the Names,
so my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is
so merciful and powerful that it
vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
Thus I saved myself
from offensive chanting.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
So far I had no eyestrain or headache,
and I was grateful for that.
I began the third set emphasizing speed,
as I felt I was behind by the clock.
I tried to avoid merely mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness and
devotional feelings. For thoughtfulness,
I adhered to “just hear.” This enabled me
to concentrate on separating the mantras
without slurring, mixing, or missing them.
For feeling, I looked at Radha-Govinda
(which I had been doing for the entire session),
and I imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna were
the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer
to be engaged in Their service.
I went beyond external
and turned inward with
a prayerful attitude.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.
On the fourth set I emphasized
speed because I felt I was
falling behind on the clock.
Unfortunately, I developed pain
in both of my eyes, and this
was an impediment. I called
out to Krishna for His blessings
because it is not possible
for me to do good japa
on my own endeavor.
I made the best of it
and didn’t rush recklessly
or neglect the mantras.
I completed my sixteenth round
with minutes to spare on the quota.
I considered it a decent session
despite the late eye pain.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I was attentive to the mantras
through all the sets.
I was respectful to the mantras
and did not rush recklessly.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.