I woke at 11:00 P.M., couldn’t
sleep and had a headache.
I took medicines and waited.
Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace.
I practiced “just hear,” the method
where you chant and hear
with no other meditation.
I am capable of doing it
and comfortable with it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is an elevated stage in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is nondifferent from Krishna Himself,
and who engages himself in
the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not achieve that rare state,
but I tried.
I reached my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I turned
to writing in my Japa Report.
I began my second set at a medium pace.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning ahead
what to write in my Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to the real goal –
love of God –
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
I still had a remnant
of pain in the forehead.
It was a handicap, but I tried
to not let it affect my pace.
I finished my eighth round
with minutes to spare.
I began the third set emphasizing speed
as a priority over quality. But I didn’t
rush recklessly. I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I tried to avoid merely mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness and devotional feelings.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to concentrate on
each bead without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I briefly looked at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness. I acknowledged
that Radha-Krishna are the heart of the
Hare Krishna mantra, composed
exclusively of Their Names and uttered
as a prayer to be engaged in Their service.
I finished my twelfth round
with a couple of minutes to spare.
On the fourth set I was all speed.
I had no time to turn to an
inward, prayerful attitude.
The clock warned me that
I might not reach my quota
after sixteen rounds.
I called out to Krishna for mercy
because it is not possible for me
to do good japa on my own endeavor.
By speeding, I managed
to meet the overall quota
with a couple of minutes to spare.
I considered it a decent session
despite the impediments of
distractions, head strain, and
excessive speeding on the fourth set.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I chanted all my sets with attention.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.