Japa Report

I was awake at 11:00 P.M.,
took a pill but
couldn’t get back to sleep.
I rang my cowbell at 12:45 A.M.,
and Baladeva responded.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began chanting at a moderate pace.
I practiced “just hear,” the method
where you chant and hear
attentively with no other meditation.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not achieve that
rare state, but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I turned
to writing in my Japa Report.

I began my second set at a moderate pace.
So far I had no sign of eyestrain,
headache or drowsiness.
I was grateful for that.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning ahead
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Names.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to the real goal –
attainment of love of God –
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.

I began my third set at a moderate pace.
I avoided merely mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness and devotional feelings.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to concentrate
on separating the individual mantras
without mixing or missing them.
I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
For feeling, I briefly looked
at Radha-Govinda and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that They are the heart
of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer to be
engaged in Their service.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.

After three sets at a moderate
pace, I was warned by
the clock that I had fallen behind.
I switched to a
fast pace, with speed as a
priority over quality. I had
no time to cultivate an inner
prayerful attitude.
I did not call out to Krishna
for His blessings, even though
it is not possible for me to do good japa
on my own endeavor. I enunciated
the mantras clearly, but
in an external frame of mind.
I lost track of time
and said forty extra
mantras before I finished the set.
I completed sixteen rounds
with minutes to spare on the overall quota.

I considered it a decent session,
despite the excessive speeding in
the fourth set.
I was alert and wide awake.
I felt no disturbance of pain to the eyes or head.
I chanted the mantras attentively, although
I did not attain internal prayerfulness.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.