The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M
after a good night’s sleep,
and the cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room where
the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace
taking darsana of Radha-Govinda
and the other Deities,
Prabhupada, Lord Caitanya and Tulasi devi.
It was nice to worship
Them all while chanting.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
without any other meditation. I am capable
of this and comfortable doing it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is non-different from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself in the
transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with a few minutes to spare. Then
I turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the second set at a medium pace.
Baladeva’s vocal chanting from
the other room was supportive
to my mental japa.
I hoped it was helpful for him
to chant along with me.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to the actual goal –
attainment of love of God,
even when chanting with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like repeating the lines about the power
of the maha-mantra. I use them
as affirmations. They give me confidence
that I am making progress,
even though I am making mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
Then I took a drink
of Vitamin C Blast to keep alert.
I began the third set at a medium pace.
I continued the darsana, but intermittently,
not with a steady gaze,
lest I provoke eyestrain.
So far I had no sensation
of head pain, and I was grateful for that.
In order to avoid mere mechanical chanting,
I cultivated thoughtfulness and devotional feeling.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to keep the mantras separate,
without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I glanced at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna
are the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer to be engaged
in Their service. I tried to enter
an internal state and adopt a prayerful attitude
and I partly succeeded.
Recently my japa sessions have been
all rated as “decent.” I am able to
control the mind and pay attention
to the holy names.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.
As I began my fourth set, I noted
that I was way behind by the clock.
I switched to a brisk pace.
I emphasized speed as
a priority over quality.
I watched the beads move quickly
through my hand, but I did not
rush recklessly. I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I called out to Krishna for His blessing
because it is not possible for me
to do good japa on my own endeavor.
I completed my sixteenth round
failing to meet the overall quota.
(Saying so many rounds at a
moderate pace, it has become
common for me to finish late.)
I considered it a decent session
despite failing to meet my quota on time.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I experienced no head pain.
I practiced “just hear” throughout.
I said all the mantras attentively.
I followed the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.