The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I entered the room where
the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
taking darsana of Radha-Govinda.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation. I am capable
of this and comfortable doing it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is non-different from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself in the
transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began my second set at a moderate pace.
I heard Baladeva’s vocal chanting
clearly and audibly from the other room.
It encouraged me, and I roughly
synchronized it with my mental japa.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to the actual goal –
attainment of love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
I use them as affirmations.
They give me confidence
that I am making progress,
although I make mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began the third set at a moderate pace.
In order to avoid mere mechanical chanting,
I cultivated thoughtfulness and devotional feeling.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to keep the mantras separate,
without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I glanced at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna are
the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer to be engaged
in Their service. I continued
the darsana, but intermittently,
not with a steady gaze lest I incur
eyestrain. So far, I felt no head pain,
and I was grateful for that.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.
On beginning the fourth set,
I noted that I was way behind
by the clock. I was apprehensive
that I would fail to meet
the overall quota after doing all
those sets at a moderate pace.
I switched to a brisk pace,
emphasizing speed as a priority
over quality. I watched the beads
move quickly through my hand.
But I didn’t rush recklessly.
I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
My whole concentration was speed,
and I chanted as quickly as possible
without overlapping.
I failed to complete my sixteenth round
within the overall quota of time.
I had to chant for several minutes
in overtime, which meant I was late
in completing my Japa Report.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.
I have to consider it a half-decent
session for finishing so late.
But I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I experienced no head pain.
I didn’t enter an internal state,
but most of my rounds were
clearly enunciated and attentive.