The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room where
the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa late, at a moderate pace,
taking darsana of Radha-Govinda.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation. I am capable
of doing this and comfortable with it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is Krishna Himself, and who
absorbs himself in the
transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not achieve that rare state,
but I tried. I became
anxious about my late start
and sped up a little.
I met my quota after four rounds
with a few minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the second set at a moderate pace.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to the actual goal –
attainment of love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
I use them as affirmations.
They give me confidence
that I am making progress,
even though I make mistakes.)
Baladeva started late, but
his vocal chanting from the other room
encouraged my mental japa.
I tuned into him and synchronized.
I continued the darsana, but intermittently,
not with a steady gaze.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began the third set at a moderate pace.
So far I had no sensation of head pain,
and I was grateful for that.
In order to avoid mere mechanical chanting,
I cultivated thoughtfulness and devotional feeling.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to concentrate on
keeping the mantras separate,
without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I glanced at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna are
the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer to be engaged
in Their service. I did not enter an
internal state or prayerful attitude,
but I enunciated the mantra
clearly and with attention.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.
On beginning my fourth set,
I noted that I was way behind –
because of chanting so many rounds
at a moderate pace.
I switched to a brisk pace.
I emphasized speed as a priority
over quality. I watched the beads
move quickly through my hand.
I sped as fast as I could,
but I didn’t rush recklessly.
I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I called out to Krishna for His blessings
because I cannot do good japa
on my own endeavor.
I also asked Him to forgive me
for going so fast.
I completed sixteen rounds failing
to meet my overall quota. I had
many minutes to chant in overtime.
I considered it a decent session
despite finishing late and speeding
on the fourth set.
I was awake and alert the whole time.
I felt no head pain.
I did not enter an internal state,
but counted all my mantras
with clear enunciation and attention.
I follow the process where one does
a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.