I woke up at 11:30 P.M.
with a headache and took a med.
I also took a sleeping pill,
but I couldn’t get back to sleep.
The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
He took a long time serving
Radha-Govinda, and I started and
finished the first set
of the japa session in bed.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
without any other meditation.
I am capable of this
and comfortable doing it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that
the Name is Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself in the
transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
I finally went into the room where
the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my second set at a moderate pace,
catching a glimpse of Radha-Govinda.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to the actual goal –
attainment of love of God,
even when chanting with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
They give me confidence
that I am making progress,
even while making mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began my third set at a moderate pace.
The session was going well. I couldn’t
sustain a darsana because
my eyes became blurry, but
I chanted with clear attention.
In order to avoid mere mechanical chanting,
I cultivated thoughtfulness and devotional feeling.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to keep the mantras separate,
without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I glanced at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna are
the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer to be engaged
in Their service.
I didn’t enter an inward state
or prayerful attitude, but
I enunciated all the syllables clearly.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.
After three sets at a moderate pace,
I switched to a brisk pace on the fourth set.
I was not behind, but I wanted
to ensure that I would finish my
sixteen rounds timely, meeting the quota.
I sped, but I didn’t rush recklessly.
I held on to the bead until the
mantra was finished before
moving on to the next bead.
I called out to Krishna for His blessings,
because it is not possible for me
to do good japa on my own endeavor.
It was not a panicked,
sloppy set, and the Names
were spoken coherently.
I completed my sixteenth round
with minutes to spare on the overall quota.
I considered it a decent session.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I experienced no head pain.
All the rounds were chanted
with clarity and attention.
Distraction was minimal
as I practiced “just hear.”
I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.