6:40 P.M.

In a rush at the end of day. Had my meeting. My last-try five rounds. Spacey. Thoughts on the mind not conducive to japa. I see myself coming out of a meditative period. It was a good time, desirable and introspective.

The peaceful sunset time, waiting for evening milk. Already feeling frustrated.

Some are frustrated by reading books like _Harinama-cintamani_ and _Manah-siksa_ and by considering, “Why can’t I attain nama-rasa?” Some are frustrated that they don’t make more money or don’t have a bigger house.

There are so many traps laid by maya, even for the sincere devotee. Raghunatha Gosvami has warned that the desire for fame is like a shameless prostitute whom we allow to dance in our hearts.

“I don’t want to be famous,” he said, as he finished his book on chanting.

(_Begging for the Nectar of the Holy Name_)

JAPA POEM

Some reflections near the end
of the japa retreat.
I am breaking out
of the meditative mood.
My chanting is spacey.
Some are frustrated
thinking, “Why don’t
I attain a taste
for chanting?”
Raghunatha das Goswami has
warned that fame
is like a prostitute
dancing in our heart.
“I don’t want to
be famous,” he said,
as he finished
his book on chanting.