The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
looking at Radha-Govinda.
I was content and peaceful
doing japa in the sanctity
of my bhajan-kutir, but striving
to improve. I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation. I am capable
of this and comfortable doing it.
It is recommended by Prabhupada.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that
the Name is nondifferent from
Krishna Himself, and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
I could not attain that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing my Japa Report.
I began my second set at a moderate pace,
despite lack of sleep.
Baladeva vibrated his vocal chanting
from the other room,
encouraging and supporting
my mental japa. I continued
the darsana, but intermittently, not with
a steady gaze, lest I incur eyestrain.
So far I felt no head pain
and I was grateful for that.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to the actual goal
– attainment of love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
They give me confidence
that I am making progress,
even while making mistakes.)
I finished my eighth round
with minutes to spare.
I began the third set at a medium pace.
I avoided mere mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness and
devotional feelings. For thoughtfulness
I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to keep the mantras separately,
without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I looked at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna
are the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer
to be engaged in Their service.
I finished my twelfth round
with a few minutes to spare.
After three sets at a moderate pace,
I was way behind by the clock.
I reasoned that I would not be able
to meet my overall quota after
sixteen rounds. I switched to
a brisk pace, emphasizing speed
over quality. I watched the beads
pass quickly through my hand.
But I did not rush recklessly. I held on to
the bead until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
There was no question of adopting
an internal mood or prayerful attitude.
But I enunciated the mantras distinctly.
I completed my sixteenth round
failing to meet the overall quota.
I was fourteen minutes behind!
I had to consider it a half-decent session
because I finished so late.
But I was alert and wide awake
the whole time. I experienced
no head pain. I enunciated all
my rounds with decent attention.
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master.
A sacred vow.