The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
looking at Radha-Govinda.
I took pleasure in adoring Them
in the sanctity of my bhajan-kutir.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation. It is
recommended by Srila Prabhupada.
I am capable of this
and comfortable doing it.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that
the Name is nondifferent from
Krishna Himself, and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
I could not reach that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I began the second set at a moderate pace.
Baladeva’s clear vocal chanting from the other room
was encouraging and supportive
to my mental japa.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the Names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report
and other irrelevant thoughts.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation,
and brings one gradually to the actual goal
– attainment of love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
They give me confidence that I am
making progress, even while I
make mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began my third set at a moderate pace.
I continued the darsana, but intermittently,
not with a steady gaze, lest I incur eyestrain.
So far I felt no head pain
but I was cautious
because I was fragile
not strong and carefree.
To avoid mere mechanical chanting,
I cultivated thoughtfulness and devotional feeling.
For thoughtfulness, I adhered to “just hear.”
This enabled me to keep the mantras separately,
without mixing or missing them.
For feeling, I glanced at Radha-Govinda
and imbibed Their sweetness.
I acknowledged that They were
the heart of the Hare Krishna mantra,
composed exclusively of Their Names
and uttered as a prayer for engagement
in Their service.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare.
After three sets at a moderate pace,
I was way behind by the clock.
I feared I would fail to meet my
overall quota after sixteen rounds.
On the fourth set I switched to
a brisk pace, emphasizing speed
over quality. I watched the beads
move quickly through my hand.
But I didn’t rush recklessly. I held on to
the bead until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I had no time to enter an inward mood
or attain a prayerful attitude, but I
enunciated all my rounds with
external attention and without
merging mantras.
I failed to meet my overall quota
after sixteen rounds.
I was twelve minutes late!
At least I follow the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master.
A sacred vow.
I considered it a decent session,
despite the impediments and finishing late.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
Although there were tremors,
it did not develop into a headache.
I chanted all my mantras
with attention.