The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.,
after a good night’s sleep,
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
glancing at Radha-Govinda.
I was relaxed and hopeful chanting
in the in the sanctity of my bhajan-kutir.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation.
I am capable of this,
and comfortable doing it.
There are higher stages of perfection in chanting,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is nondifferent from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare stage,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.

I began my second set at a moderate pace.
I heard Baladeva’s vocal chanting
from the other room and was
encouraged and supported
in my mental japa.
Although I was chanting silently
in my mind, I heard the Names
clearly, with attention, and concern
to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my chanting was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to the real goal –
attainment of the love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.

I began the third set at a brisk pace.
Lately, I have been constantly falling
behind. I wanted to prevent that, so
in this set I emphasized speed as a
priority over quality. But I didn’t
rush recklessly. I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I finished my twelfth round
with a few minutes to spare.

I began the fourth set at a brisk pace.
I doubted I would finish on time.
I am tired of completing
the japa session late.
I took to speeding,
but I enunciated the mantras
separately, without mixing
or missing them.
I could spare no time
for entering an inward mood
or adopting a prayerful attitude.
I stopped the darsana
because the Deities looked blurry
to my eyes. So far
I had no sensation of head pain,
and I was grateful for that.
I didn’t call out to Krishna
for His blessings, but tried
to survive on my own endeavor.
I didn’t finish late,
but completed my sixteen rounds
with a few minutes to spare.

I considered it a half-decent session.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I experienced no head pain
during the entire session.
I could not enter a prayerful state,
but I kept up external pronunciation
of the mantras through all the rounds.
I was not late on my overall quota.
I followed the process where one does
a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.