The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my chanting at a moderate pace,
feeling sane and clear-headed
in the sanctity of my bhajan-kutir.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation.
I am capable of this,
and comfortable doing it.
Prabhupada recommended it.
There are higher stages of perfection in chanting,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is nondifferent from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare stage,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in the Japa Report.
As I began my second set
I chanted briskly because I
was falling behind.
It has become an
incorrigible habit
that I tend to finish
late. I don’t know
what to do about it,
except to emphasize speed
as a priority over quality.
But I don’t rush recklessly.
I hold on to the bead until
the mantra is finished
before moving on to the next bead.
Baladeva’s vocal chanting
from the other room
encouraged and supported
me to keep up my rate
of mental japa.
Although I was chanting silently
in the mind, I heard the Names
clearly, with attention, and concern
to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report.
Still, I persisted in enunciating the
mantras with external attention.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with a few minutes to spare.
I began the third set continuing
at a brisk pace.
I could not attain an inner mood
or a prayerful state.
But at least I did not sloppily merge
the mantras. I finished
my twelfth round failing by
some minutes to meet the quota.
I began my fourth set
at a fast pace. I couldn’t avoid
mere mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness
or devotional feeling. I did
practice “just hear”
and this enabled me
to keep the mantras separately
without slurring or merging them.
I couldn’t keep darsana
for fear it would incur eyestrain.
But even a brief glimpse
at Radha-Govinda revived
my spirits. I completed
my sixteen rounds meeting
my overall quota with
fifteen seconds to spare.
I could barely consider it
a half-decent session
because of so much speeding.
But at least I was alert and
wide awake the whole time.
I didn’t experience any head pain
for the entire session
and I was grateful for that.
I could not enter a prayer state,
but I kept my enunciation
externally attentive for all
the rounds. I followed
the process where one does
a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.