The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva applied my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
looking at Radha-Govinda.
I practiced “just hear,”
the method where you chant and hear
with no other meditation.
I am capable of this
and comfortable executing it
in the sanctity of my bhajana-kutir.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not attain that rare state,
but I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in the Japa Report.
I began the second set at a moderate pace.
Baladeva’s vocal chanting
from the other room encouraged me
in keeping my mental japa.
Although I was chanting silently
in the mind, I heard the Names
clearly, attentively, and with concern
to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in my next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name.
So my japa was faulty.
But the maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to the actual goal –
attainment of love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections,
as I was doing.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with a few minutes to spare.
On the third set, I changed my pace
to brisk because I had fallen behind
by the clock.
I could not avoid mere mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness
or devotional feelings.
I couldn’t practice “just hear” to enable
myself to keep the mantras separate.
I did not receive darsana
of Radha-Govinda for fear
of incurring eyestrain.
I finished my twelfth round
trailing behind.
I began the fourth set at a brisk pace,
unable to attain an inner mood
or a prayerful state of mind.
I decided to stop my japa,
promising to complete it
later in the day.
I finished far short of
my sixteen rounds,
many minutes behind.
I considered it a poor session
because of failing to meet my quota,
despite speedy chanting.
At least I felt no head pain
during the time I chanted.