The alarm clocks went off at 1:00 A.M.
and our cowbells followed.
Baladeva attended to my wakeup rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
intending to do intermittent darsana,
write a short Japa Report
and meet my quotas.
I practiced “just hear.”
I met my quota after four rounds
with ample minutes to spare.
I began the second set
at a moderate pace. Baladeva’s
vocal chanting from the other room
encouraged and supported me in
my mental japa. Although I was
chanting silently in the mind,
I heard the Names clearly,
with attention and concern
to pronounce the words properly.
The maha-mantra is so merciful and powerful
that it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers one into liberation,
and gradually brings one to the actual goal
– attainment of love of God –
even when chanting with imperfections,
as I was doing.
(I like to repeat the lines about
the power of the maha-mantra.
I use them as affirmations.
They give me confidence that
I am making progress, even though
I am making mistakes.)
I met my quota after eight rounds
with ample minutes to spare.
I began my third set
at a brisk pace to assure
myself that I would
finish the session on time.
I stopped my darsana because
the Deities appeared blurry to my eyes.
So far, I felt no head pain
and I was grateful for that.
I couldn’t enter
prayerful japa or
an inward mood.
I finished my twelfth round
with minutes to spare on the quota.
On the fourth set I continued
emphasizing speed as a priority
over quality, but I didn’t rush recklessly.
I held on to the bead until the mantra
was finished before moving on
to the next bead. I completed
my sixteenth round and the japa session
ahead of the schedule.
I considered it a decent session.
I was alert and wide awake
the whole time.
I felt no head pain
for the entire session.
I enunciated all my
rounds with external attention.
I follow the process of doing
a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.