Kaliya came up at 1:00 A.M.
to attend to my wake-up rituals.
He had a notebook
with the duties written down
and he did them efficiently.
I began japa early
at a moderate pace,
hoping to meet my quotas,
to chant attentively, and to
keep my Japa Report brief.
I was alone,
peaceful in the sanctity
of my bhajana-kutir.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began my second set
at a moderate pace.
I focused on
my beads and the clock
to be sure I was on time.
Besides, I could not
sustain a darsana.
All I could see comfortably
was the vast expanse
of leaves and branches
on the Tulasi plant
rooted in a clay pot.
I practiced “just hear.”
This is a stage recommended
by Prabhupada. Anyone who
understands the Name is
nondifferent from Krishna,
and who absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I could not do it,
but I tried.
I met my quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
I sped up a little
beginning the third set.
But I was keeping good time
on the quota.
I couldn’t enter a prayer state
but I enunciated the mantras
with external attention
and with careful pronunciation.
I finished the third set
with minutes to spare
on the quota.
I continued going quickly
on the fourth set.
I felt confident that
I would meet the overall quota.
I didn’t rush recklessly.
I held on to the bead
until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I completed my sixteen rounds
with plenty of time to spare.
I considered it a decent session.
I was alert and wide awake
the whole time.
I felt no head pain
for the entire session.
I didn’t enter deeply
into a prayer state, but I
consistently practiced “just hear”
and derived satisfaction.
I easily made my quotas.
I followed the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.