“Satsvarupa Maharaja had a more balanced week. His editor had a bunch of family guests and wasn’t able to interact as much as usual. The writing was not so strident and frenetic, so Satsvarupa Maharaja was able to rest in a more regulated way for most of the days. The number of headaches still average two, but they usually go away within an hour or two. This problem and the regular pains of old age are not bad when you compare them to other difficulties some devotees are facing. I would not exactly call it lucky, but it is at least less dramatic by comparison, according to someone like me who is not suffering yet.
“Hari Hari,
Your servant,
Baladeva”
Prabhupada uses the words “numerical strength.” We have promised to chant at least sixteen rounds, so as you build from one to two to three rounds, you are working to fulfill your vow, and you are making good your promise. Accumulation is not a mere fruitive act—it is achievement.
******
Today, after the first round, I averaged about six minutes per round. That’s moving as fast as I can without blurring or mispronouncing (not hearing). Quality is still more important than speed. I’m grateful that I’m not thinking of other aspects of my life while I should be chanting. Fortunately, other thoughts are not coming, and I streamline my consciousness to that of a japa chanter. If other thoughts do come, I gently put them aside and return to my business. Krishna has been kind to me to let me perform like a single-minded athelete. Today I was able to do that.
******
I am calling out just by basic faith in the japa operation. As when I speak to Krishna in my afternoon free write, I have confidence in Krishna’s being open to me when I chant japa. My fixation on accumulating mantras is not the highest stage, but it is important work. For now, it is the heart of my practice. I pay attention and quickly add one mantra to the next. After all, Prabhupada did advise, “Just hear.” The names are absolute. You benefit just by touching them with your tongue. When you put your hand in fire, you’ll be burnt. When you say the Hare Krishna mantras, you become Krishna-ized.
******
“Our life is so short that we must strictly adhere to the principles laid down by the Vaisnava acaryas and peacefully execute Krishna consciousness. There’s no need to become despondent. Narottama dasa Thakura recommends anande bala hari, bhaja vrndavana, hari guru vaisnava pade majaiya mana. For a transcendental, blissful life, chant the Hare Krishna mantra, come worship the holy place of Vrndavana, and always engage in the service of the Lord, of the spiritual master, and of the Vaisnavas. This Krishna consciousness movement is therefore very safe and easy. We have only to execute the order of the Lord and fully surrender unto Him. Therefore, by following the instructions of the spiritual master and by chanting Hare Krishna, everything will be all right” (SB 4.23.7, purport).
******
A devotee wrote me about his mistakes in devotional service. He said, “Those mistakes were committed because I wasn’t careful in avoiding the offenses against chanting the holy names and apparently let the unwanted plants of anarthas grow by the so-called watering process of hearing and chanting.” It is good to regularly remember the ten offenses against chanting and make a conscious effort to avoid them.
******
Before chanting this morning, I heard Bhagavad-gita As It Is. Krishna said there is nothing as sublime as transcendental knowledge. It burns away all pious and impious activities and makes us peaceful. Prabhupada wrote that this peacefulness comes about by avoiding sense gratification and chanting Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. A good introductory reading to a japa session. Let me chant peacefully in transcendental knowledge.
******
“The beginning of devotional service is to hear about the glories of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. . . . One must drink the nectar of the glories of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and this means one must be always engaged in hearing and chanting the glories of the Lord. It is the prime method for advancing in spiritual life” (SB 4.22.23, purport).
pp. 136-140
Srila Prabhupada said that ISKCON was his body. The formation of ISKCON is very much a part of Prabhupada’s overall mission, and it should be appreciated just as much as we appreciate other aspects of Srila Prabhupada.
We may think that the first signs of ISKCON appeared with the formation of the League of Devotees in Jhansi. But it actually begins before that. Srila Prabhupada inherited by parampara many concepts about a living society of devotees.
Bhaktivinoda Ṭhakura, in the Sri Sri Godruma Kalpaṭavi, describes the system of Nama Haṭṭa preaching wherein devotees, although pursuing their occupational duties in the world, would come together regularly for hearing and chanting. He drew the analogy of a marketplace wherein those seeking the holy names would have to pay with their faith (sraddha) in the names. And he predicted the formation of a Kṛṣṇa conscious society: “Although there is still no pure society of Vaisnavas to be had, yet Lord Caitanya’s prophetic words will in a few days come true. I am sure. Why not? Nothing is absolutely pure in the beginning. From imperfection, purity would come about.”
Śrīla Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Ṭhakura, the son of Bhaktivinoda Ṭhakura, reestablished the Sri Visva-vaisnava-raja-sabha in 1919, which later became known as the Gaudiya Maṭh. This was a temple and asrama combined, where renounced men could live together and worship the Deity. The Gauḍiya Maṭh spread Kṛṣṇa consciousness by encouraging people to practice bhakti-yoga in their homes and by book printing and distribution, lectures, and regular programs for the public at the temple.
As a grhastha, Srila Prabhupada encouraged people to practice Krsna consciousness in their homes, but he also desired to establish a society of devotees. After the disappearance of his spiritual master, the Gaudiya Math broke up and Prabhupada was forced by circumstance to work within the still-existing maths of his Godbrothers. But he wanted to do more. He did extensive preaching to people in their homes and wrote his monograph, “Perfection at Home.” On Sunday he would visit people like Dr. P. Banerjee, a member of the National Museum of New Delhi, who would gather twenty or thirty elderly guests at his home for sat-sanga. He also preached actively in Kanpur, staying at various homes and lecturing. Whenever he would get an invitation, he would go to hold kirtana and to discuss krsna-katha (Srila Prabhupada-lilamrta, vol.1, pp. 240-241).
He also wrote letters, mainly to government officials, expressing his desire to form a living society of devotees. “I want to train up forty educated youths to learn this science of transcendental knowledge and just prepare them for going to foreign countries… for missionary work…” (Srila Prabhupada-lilamṛta, vol.1, p. 180). This idea was also expressed in his essay about “Gita-nagari,” a simple village-style community of devotees based on the principles of Krsna consciousness.
In 1953, Prabhupada registered the League of Devotees in Lucknow. . . . And the League would publish a monthly magazine, Back to Godhead.
In his prospectus for the League, Srila Prabhupada outlined a schedule of attendance at arati and kirtana, regulative chanting of rounds on japa beads, strict adherence to cleanliness and the regulative principles, and regular study of the sastra. There was provision made for the prasadam meals of the inner members and rules for dikṣa. Scripture classes were held in the morning and the evening (Letter, 55-1).
Later, after coming to America, Prabhupada began to assess whether a society of devotees would be possible in New York. He had plans but it required money and manpower to execute them. He also knew that occasional lectures were not enough. He needed a temple and residence for those who would come to join him.
Finally, Prabhupada settled in at 26 Second Avenue and began holding his twice weekly classes and kirtanas. Hippies and seekers began to attend and he began building a congregation, but he envisioned bigger things. As Mr. Ruben, a subway conductor who had met Prabhupāda on a Manhattan park bench in 1965, had noted: “He seemed to know that he would have temples filled up with devotees, ‘There are temples and books,’ he said. ‘They are existing, they are there, but the time is separating us from them’” (Srila Prabhupada-lilamṛta, vol.2, p. 133).
pp. 22-24
We may ask ourselves, “Am I a preacher? Why am I preaching? How convinced am I?” These are not questions that can be answered once and for all. They are questions we must ask ourselves regularly, ones with which we must live. Answering these questions over time will help us to gather more inner realization as to how we, as Prabhupada’s followers, are fulfilling his order to preach. An important part of answering these questions is to also ask ourselves whether it is enough for us simply to work for a compassionate person or movement. We are seeking personal realization. Such personal realization is vital to our success as preachers. That is why we should ask ourselves why we are preaching and not just immediately repeat what the great teacher says. Are we preaching because we have been ordered to do so by our spiritual master, or do we believe that we are performing the highest welfare work?
Along with these questions, we should ask ourselves, “What is a preacher?” In the simplest analysis, a preacher is someone who helps others come closer to Krsna. One of the characteristics of a maha-bhagavata, for example, is that when people see him, they become attracted to Krsna. A preacher should make others feel close to Krsna.
There are many ways in which that can be accomplished, but the point is that a preacher gives Krsna. That could include someone who has the profile of an actively preaching sadhu, or someone who is so modest they barely speak at all. Someone can be a pujari who shares Krsna consciousness by beautifully decorating the Deity. Someone else can be running a restaurant where those who would normally never attend a Krsna conscious function can take prasadam and taste a devotional atmosphere for the duration of their meal. Someone else can be living in a farm community, practicing what Srila Prabhupada taught and demonstrating those teachings to visitors. There are as many kinds of preachers as there are people in this movement. There are conservative preachers and their followers, and liberal preachers and their followers, and without both of these types of preachers, our movement would not have been able to grow as rapidly as it did.
Developing inner awareness of the compassionate motive behind preaching happens over time and with experience. When we first come to Krsna consciousness, we have many things to learn, not only about the philosophy but about ourselves. If we are fortunate enough to be guided by compassionate preachers, we will be engaged in the compassionate work that will lead us further toward developing our own sense of compassion. Many devotees in this movement have been led forward by enthusiastic preachers who convince us, for example, that going out on harinama will be good for us and good for others. Such devotees instill in others the faith that the holy name is the panacea for their suffering. That lesson seems to be particularly effective when the enthusiastic preacher cares not only for the nondevotees on the street but for the devotees on the harinama party.
I remember the harinamas organized in La Jolla, California by such an enthusiastic preacher. La Jolla is a stylish place, and people go there on Saturday nights for the night life. The streets are lined with fancy restaurants and outdoor cafes, and people ride in the Western version of rickshaws.
Then the harinama party strolls down the street. A faithful preacher will be thinking, “These people will see us and hear the kirtana. The holy name will bless them.” Those without that conviction will wonder what they are doing out there, will be conscious of how strange the devotees must look in that atmosphere, and will want to go home. Such devotees will not maintain their ability to go out on harinama unless they develop more faith and inward awareness of what they are doing. It is not enough to follow an enthusiastic leader.
pp. 43-45
I gave all my previous notes to Indrajit to give to my son. But these present notes I will destroy. I can tell it all only in part and briefly . . .
In my mind I call the warden “Copperbeard.” To his face I say, “Sir.” He called me to discuss my assignment of spying on the Vaisnavas.
“I know more about you than you think,” he said, “and I am doubtful whether you will actually cooperate.”
He seemed pitiful in his make-show of power, with his sword and cudgel, big biceps, and the brass bell on his desk in case he needs more help.
I am beginning to wonder how much the secret police actually know. Do they think that Sanda and Amarka have the situation under control? I am in solitary confinement and yet I have managed to learn that Prahlada is actively teaching and leading the sons of demons in kirtanas.
“We need someone trusted both by the boys and their families to gather information. But can we trust you, Harsasoka?”
Copperbeard is a hundred percent duplicity, so talking with him is always a cat and mouse game. But on this occasion, I felt less tight. I had just heard about the voice of Visnu assuring the demigods that Hiranyakasipu would soon be smashed. I dared to hint at it.
“You can’t understand,” I said. “But even the emperor’s power and life duration are limited compared to the forces of eternal time. We are all subjects of the same supreme force, but one of us acts as a warden and one of us acts as a prisoner.”
That was as far as I got. He slammed his fist down and screamed, “Shut up, fool!” Then he stood up and put his hand on the bell. “Don’t you understand?” he said. “I could kill you in a minute. I don’t even have to explain it to my authorities. You are just like an insect to me.”
I knew he could do it. I feared for my life.
“Hiranyakasipu has gained immortality,” said the warden. “He earned this by performing incredible austerities, never before undertaken by any living being. He has been promised with all the binding force of Lord Brahma, that he can be killed neither by day or night, nor by any manmade weapon, nor on land or sea. There is no beast that can kill him. In other words, he is immortal. Although Brahma claimed that he himself is not immortal, Hiranyakasipu outsmarted him and got the benediction he wanted.”
As with everyone else in the kingdom of Hiranyakasipu, I have already heard this a million times. But I no longer believe it.
“As a result of this benediction, and because of his great personal prowess, Hiranyakagipu is seeking to revenge himself against Lord Visnu, who killed his brother, Hiranyaksa. You should have learned all this in your early school days. Did you not?”
“Yes sir, I heard it as a boy.”
“But you have forgotten. So learn it again. Our lord has virtually taken control of all the three worlds. We are in fact, at this moment, occupying Indra’s seat and his palace. Everyone pays tribute to Hiranyakasipu. For example, the inhabitants of Pitrloka now offer their sraddha ceremonies only to Lord Hiranyakasipu. The proud inhabitants of Siddhaloka have had their powers taken away and Hiranyakasipu is now the single and greatest mystic. Our lord has also taken away the meditative power of the inhabitants of Vidhyadharaloka. He has forced them to abandon their meditation by of his superior bodily strength. In short, he has subjugated everyone. Even the famous Narada Muni, who likes to travel here and there singing foolish songs about Visnu, is no longer seen in these parts. Or perhaps you have seen him?”
“No sir, I have not,” I replied. And so it went. The warden said that he would be “merciful” to me and not kill me this time. At least not immediately. But he would think of some measures for my punishment and reform.
Now it’s a few days after my interview with the warden. I’m back in my cell and my sadhana routine.
I have no “solution” to this fear. It did teach me a lesson, however. I plunged so quickly from the heights of fearlessness down to the depths of fear. I see that I am not ready to master even the first lesson of Bhagavad-gita: “I am not this body; I am spirit soul.”
pp. 102-5
“I like to remember the nights when I was living at home, lying in bed and wondering whether or not Krsna was really God and praying to Him to reveal Himself to me. I gained most of my conviction while lying there looking into the dark. Have you had similar experiences?”
I like the image of Madhava dasa, then uninitiated, looking into the dark. I know the kind of clarity you can feel at times like that and how you do settle major issues when you find that clarity. Sometimes I find such clarity when I am walking. A good idea, a “light bulb” pops. Somebody once told me that our best ideas come in the “three Bs”: the bathroom, the bed, and on the bus. In other words, we don’t all become enlightened in official places of meditation. Memories and ideas pop into our heads at all sorts of times. If we think they are important, we should remain alert to them, even when they come uninvited or at odd times.
Memory shouldn’t be used just to serve some affair that’s now concluded. It should give our lives a cutting edge. For example, we should remember the things we meant to do but didn’t. We should remember the emotions we felt at different times and resolve them. To open ourselves to such memories is to be open to life.
Of course, there’s a limit to how many memories we can open ourselves up to. It would be too much—too much pain, too much volume, and perhaps too much of a diversion from single-minded Krsna consciousness—to remember everything with equal concentration. Those whose minds are many-branched cannot pay close attention to their spiritual aims. Therefore, we use memory to serve the goal of life, and we ask ourselves, “What do I want to do in Krsna consciousness?” and, “What am I forgetting to do that I said I would do?”
For example, just yesterday I resolved to increase my reading of Prabhupada’s books to two hours a day. I haven’t been able to read that much in a long time. It is a decision that I cannot act on immediately, but I must not forget that I made it. And every day I have to remember to chant my sixteen rounds and three gayatris. Is this external? It may appear so, but it requires something deeper. It means I must always remember that I am about to die.
It takes time and attention to remember what our lives are about. Wordsworth defined poetry as “Emotion recollected in tranquility.” That seems to be what Madhava is referring to when he speaks of looking into the dark and praying to Krsna to reveal Himself. We’re not alone, but sometimes we don’t wonder about it until we’re alone in the dark. We’re often too busy to see what is most important.
Iris Origo states it well in her essay, “Images and Shadows: Part of a Life”:
“Just as, in travel, one may miss seeing the sunset because one cannot find the ticket-office or is afraid of missing the train, so in even the closest human relationships a vast amount of time and affection is drained away in minor misunderstandings, missed opportunities, and failures in consideration or understanding. It is only in memory that the true essence remains.”
I like her point. We might argue that there is no essence and that life means distraction, but that’s not true. There is an abiding love, an abiding reality, a deeper meaning to every experience that we can get at if we can just avoid being sucked back into the trivial. If we can find that space, as in Madhava’s night, then we can find the essence again.
I try to hack my way through trivia when I free-write. I just can’t wait to descend into a single moment of clarity and Krsna conscious remembrance. Madhava asked whether I have had such experiences, and I have. I still do. I do reach out and try to listen for Krsna to reveal Himself in some way, and I do it while “looking into the dark.”
pp. 114-16
The path of devotional service is like the razor’s edge. One could start out without any idea of this namaparadha but lead up to it. One could practice penances and even cry out for devotion to Krsna, and then gradually begin to feel some softening of the heart as a result. At that stage, feeling the dawn of blissful Krsna consciousness within oneself, one would also want to share it with others. Then in their company, one would be honored as a chanter of the holy name and one would feel that one’s life was being fulfilled. One becomes honored as a guru of the holy name and then one begins to be proud of being such a superior chanter of the holy name. Then, rather than really work to spread the holy name, one becomes complacent, thinks oneself a great saint or even an avadhuta, and then crashes down, commits hidden sinful activities—all done on the strength of chanting the holy name. We have seen this happen, that sincere devotees with mixed motives fell down. Unless we regularly weed our own devotional garden, even apparent progress in purity can lead us to downfall.
This offense is the worst thing that could happen. A sober-minded person should be cautious that it doesn’t happen to him.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura offers the remedy of going into the association of devotees and asking their forgiveness. This means, of course, that we have to give up our attachment to sin, humbly expose the fact that we are cheating, and take the reaction of having our prestige reduced. We can become clean by the mercy of the Vaisnavas. They will console us and assure us that we can rectify ourselves, and they will engage us in devotional service again.
At that time, we can take up the chanting of the holy name in earnest, and not use it to again gather followers or material rewards. Things that are not sinful in themselves, such as followers or beautiful women or money, can very easily become sinful. It is best that a chanter of the holy name keep a distance from these things. If in the name of service he does accept followers or does have any kind of connection with beautiful women or beautiful things, even beautiful poetry (whatever is implied by the word “sundarim“), then he has to be watchful that his association doesn’t turn into an enjoying mood. When he falls into the enjoying mood, then his chanting of the Hare Kona mantra entangles him in namaparadha.
Chanting the holy name is not in itself an aparadha, but if a chanter is committing sins on the strength of chanting, if he is sustaining himself by the mercy of the chanting, then his chanting becomes filled with aparadha. This is what it means when we say that when watering the bhakti-lata, the plant of devotion, we may be watering the weeds at the same time. By chanting, we can be committing sin. Of course, the solution to this is not to stop chanting, but to stop the sin.
The cantankerous typewriter has been set up for my use. If it gets too cantankerous, I can always go back to the pen.
There is no way to get at the truths of Krsna consciousness. They descend from the Lord and the ragatmika devotees as blessings. Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura appeared in this world to tell us the intimate pastimes of Radha and Krsna which were not disclosed in Srimad-Bhagavatam (although whatever he said was based on the Bhagavatam). Visvanatha Cakravarti is both a recipient of mercy and a giver of mercy. Each of us can be like that, at least to a small degree. We have already received the Hare Krsna mantra from His Divine Grace, and we have already received transcendental knowledge from the Bhaktivedanta purports. We are already recipients of mercy; we are now bound to give mercy to others.
pp. 14-21
In the heart
of the mansion
is Radha-Kunjabihari,
shiny black, bright white,
clothed in rich patterns of finest cloth.
Smooth, opulent
faces like full moons;
Krsna’s upper body is inclined
toward Radharani.
Her hand of benediction is a welcome sight.
In the heart of
the mansion,
Radha-Kunjabihari,
shiny black, bright white.
I spoke with Rohininandana on a patch of backyard grass beside the Kamadhuk. He mentioned that when he was trying to give out Back to Godheads downtown, most people shied away. We are strange to begin with, he said, and now they have read so many things about us. He went on to describe a favorable encounter with a man who had been to Govinda’s restaurant. I asked Rohini what he thought of the fact that most people react unfavorably. He thought about it for a moment and then, with his gentle British tone, he said, “It saddens me. We have such a pure life and philosophy. And many of their lives are shambles. Yet they won’t take it.”
He went on to see the bright side of this: We should take it as a challenge to get our act together and make our community pure and strong so that people will want to join.
I wanted to talk about studying Prabhupada’s books. Rohininandana holds a study class in the evening once a week where devotees work together to make concise summaries of Srila Prabhupada’s purports until they have reduced each purport to a “sutra.” He had many other interesting ideas for studying and sharing Krsna consciousness with Namahatta members and devotees.
I asked, “What department do you work in in the temple?”
“I am the temple brahmana,”he said.
It was pleasing to hear, that he has full engagement with preaching and brahminical services. He does a weekly TV show on the Bhagavad-gita in Lansing; he writes the thirty-page “Nama Hatta News: A Newsletter for Vaisnavas Living in the Michigan Area.”
Rohininandana foresees that the temple core of devotees will become more austere, simple, engaged in studying and preaching and worshiping the Deity, and this will inspire the larger numbers of devotees who are living outside and entering business. The householders will then support the temple and seek out the association of devotees who live in the temple. Bhurijana, who is visiting Detroit to teach a seminar in child rearing, expressed a similar viewpoint: “They need us, and we need them.”
I also spoke with Rohininandana about memorizing Sanskrit slokas. He said he knows about a thousand. He is mostly interested in reviewing them so that he can bring them forward instantly while speaking. We discussed how Srila Prabhupada’s lectures are a series of Sanskrit references, brought out one after another in support of his philosophical points. Rohini wants to arrange his slokas more by topics so that when he thinks of “toleration” he will immediately think of “matra-sparsas tu kaunteya.”
Rohininandana asked me about my health. When I explained it, he said I am like a person who is missing a limb or something like that.
“Talking with you,” he said, “brings out a person’s sensitivity not to talk too much or say something that may cause you a headache. We should always be aware that we may hurt whomever we are talking to, by saying something to make them ill or by disturbing them. We tend to treat people like punching bags.”
(This is Prabhupada’s definition of nonviolence: Give people Krsna consciousness. Everyone is yearning to be treated in this way. The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you—give them Krsna consciousness.”)
As we parted, he said that in the time it would take him to ride his bicycle home he would recite the Isopanisad. “If I don’t go over slokas for even one day, then I start to lose the taste and freshness. Even if it is just a minute, I do some every day.”
It was a gray Monday morning in downtown Detroit. The workers moved zombielike after the weekend. Praghosa was smiling blissfully, embarrassing me who cannot smile as much. But I sang and walked with twenty other devotees in double file. Our party was lively young men, women, and children, dressed brightly amid a very dead atmosphere. Adi-raja, Rohininandana, Bhismadeva, and some ladies went out to distribute BTG magazines. The rest of us sang and watched with satisfaction as workers accepted magazines and carried them into the buildings. Praghosa stopped in parks and plazas, and the devotees spread out to dance. When we saw that none of the office workers were going to sing or dance with us, or even pay much attention to us, we began to dance more for ourselves, and for Krsna. Praghosa placed his hands around his mouth like a megaphone and shouted up toward the tall buildings and the people in them, as if to waken the dead.
I’ve got my filters and selective memory lapses and all sorts of maladies. Do you want to own someone? You can’t. Just be a friend. Don’t be possessive, jealous. Don’t ask the whole world to say, “You’re the best.” You feel threatened when someone writes like you. You feel anxious when you find something to chew on, chew, chew, chew until you get a headache. Can’t sleep, can’t cheep in the morning, and worst of all, you know what’s worst of all . . .
His sadhana has crawled down into a hole. A deep wormhole and we don’t know how to get him out. It’s terrible. Yet he says, “I’m happy. I like living in Wicklow.” He’s a hypocrite, he’s got his anxiety disorder on the plate with couscous and beans, things he doesn’t like to eat. Here’s some tofu. But I told you a million times I don’t like tofu or pasta, or the way you guys make pancakes. Maybe I just don’t like pancakes period. Someone is thinking of entering a deeper life of sadhana, maybe going to Vrndavana. You hear it and say, “Can I come along? Can I make the mystic journey too?” No, not likely. You’re a twerp and a chewer, and subpar japa. You can’t even confront the monkey hordes without fear down your spine. They grin at you, you smack your bat. I just want to live in heaven with God and His parisads and nice monkeys.
The simple, direct hookup is the intensive care of mantra-chanting. This hookup was supplied by a guru who will never abandon me. Don’t, therefore, be attached to physical pleasure or pain. Tolerate everything. It’s all temporary. Pray that Krsna becomes your all-in-all.
Oh, it’s no joke, he can’t chant nicely. The fairy godmother appears and says, “I can give you that power.” Great, he says, please do. She says, “But first you have to do a number of good deeds.” Like what? he asks. “You must give up your flighty poems, whipped cream, enjoying lying in bed, looking at the sky and breathing.”
That’s impossible, he said. If I give up breathing, I’ll die.
“You’ll die to live again in the spiritual world with a spiritual body,” said the fairy godmother.
Please give me an easier way.
“What would you like?” she asks.
To be able to move about. To know the holy name is Krsna, to pray and praise Him. To know more about Him so that I’ll be a blissful servant of the loving, wise Master. And I’ll want to teach Krsna consciousness to whomever I meet. And let me eat.
When we are truthful with ourselves, we feel repentant that we are cheaters, but we also accept ourselves and say, “All right, this is where I am at right now; this is me. Let me improve. Let me be a devotee with whatever I can do. Let me go to Srila Prabhupåda and the sastra and the holy names.”
Don’t read or pray or chant in a way that you can’t but in a way that you can.
Dear sir, write as you can, not as you can’t. Hurry up, hand in the exercise book and leave the room quietly. You can be assured I will grade all papers carefully. I don’t say everyone will pass. It depends on your work during the semester, the weekly exams, and your participation in class. And then a large percentage is how you do on this final.
Oh, final finali.
Go to the shed, chant your rounds and don’t fall asleep. You say you chant silently, but the mind actually gets fully occupied with other things. This little mantra, this choo-choo train mantra of repeating thirty-two syllables, three words and sixteen times for those three words. How do you expect me to absorb my giant intellect and feelings into such a little thing? I want to fly my skiff over the tenements and explode fireworks.
Somehow when Prabhupåda starts talking about morality and sin, I tune in. I have that much faith. “So we are now utilizing instruments without fulfilling the desire of Aniruddha, or the Hrsîkesa. That means we are using it for sense gratification, unlawfully. Therefore we are becoming implicated in sinful activities.”
Bhakti is just the opposite, using the instruments to serve Hrsîkesa. Hrsikena hrsikesa sevanam bhaktir ucyate.
Prabhupada says there’s no difference between Krsna and His expansions. That makes me feel good. Then I don’t have to memorize all these expansions. Know that Krsna does the whole job. And—can you believe in Krsna? Is He easier? That cowherd boy is the Supreme Lord? Well, in one sense, yes, it is easier. We have become used to understanding that He is Supreme. He is our Lord. “The Lord is nava-yauvanam, very young. Purusa. Although He is the adi, origin of all living entities, still He is young. And although He has expanded Himself into multiforms, still He is one. Advaitam acyutam anadim ananta-rupam.”
pp. 40-48
A monkey in the tree fiercely shakes
the old branch.
Black Sanskrit script: tamarind branches
against the sky.
Sri Krsna said, “The inhabitants of Vrndavana, including the gopis, cows, unmoving creatures such as the twin arjuna trees, animals, living entities with a stunted consciousness such as bushes, and snakes such as Kaliya, all achieve the perfection of life by unalloyed love for Me, and thus they very easily achieve Me.”—Bhagavata Purana
First dawn light
at Davanala-kund*—
a snouty hog appears.
*Davanala-kund (“the pond where there was a forest fire”) is the place where Sri Krishna swallowed a blazing fire to save His friends and cows.
Sadhu washing an old white cloth.
Lightfooted, a mangy dog
strolls round the kund.
A white cow
nuzzles my chest and won’t go away.
“All the inhabitants of Vrndavana are Vaisnavas. They are all-auspicious.because somehow or other they always chant the holy names of Krishna. . . . Even when they pass on the street they are fortunate enough to exchange greetings by saying the names of Radha and Krishna. Thus directly or indirectly they are auspicious.”—Caitanya-caritamrta
The click
of walking sticks on courtyard stone.
An old woman
with cracking voice
rushes to see Damodar.
That monkey just stole food from Damodar’s altar!—
a widow smiles.
“Apparently the residents of Vrndavana, the abode of Lord Krishna, are simple householders engaged in ordinary affairs such as herding cows, cooking, rearing children, and performing religious ceremonies. However, all these activities are intensely engaged in the loving service of Lord Krishna. The residents of Vrndavana perform all activities in pure Krishna consciousness and thus exist on the most exalted platform of liberated life. The same activities performed without Krishna consciousness constitute ordinary bondage to the material world.”
—Bhagavat Purana
Laughing at the “white monkeys”
as they pass on rickshaw.
– Predawn townsmen:
reading the cheap newsprint by kerosene lamp.
At the Yamuna:
a tan heifer wandering.
Pounding laundry
Singing, “Jaya Radhe!”
on the riverbank, in unison:
the rising sun.
A ferryload of ladies.
“All glories to Radha!”
“My dear boy, I wish all good fortune for you. You should go to the bank of the Yamuna, where there is a virtuous forest named Madhuban, and there be purified. Just by going there one draws nearer to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who always lives there.”—Bhagavat Purana
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.