His Holiness Satsvarupa dasa Goswami Maharaja
Vyasa-puja Birthday Celebration
Saturday, December 7, 2024What
Meeting of Disciples and friends of SDG
Where
The Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall
845 Hudson Avenue
Stuyvesant Falls, New York 12174There is plenty of parking near the Hall. The facility is just a few minutes’ walk from SDG’s home at 909 Albany Ave.
Schedule
- 10:00 –10:30 A.M.: Kirtana
- 10:30 – 11:15 A.M.: Presentation by Satsvarupa Maharaja
- 11:15 – 12:30 A.M.: Book Table
- 12:30 – 1:15 P.M.: Arati and kirtana
- 1:15 – 2:15 P.M.: Prasadam Feast
Contact
Baladeva Vidyabhusana at [email protected] or (518) 754-1108
Krsna dasi at [email protected] or (518) 822-7636
“There’s not too much new to report this week. Satsvarupa Maharaja’s confusion continued, even though the ten day course of antibiotics for the UTI is over today. This seems to point to the Parkinson’s as being at least a participating culprit. He went back to his primary care provider for a follow-up appointment, and the doc said that Parkinson’s manifests differently for everyone. He also added a stronger water pill, three times per week, to try to bring down the swelling in Satsvarupa Maharaja’s feet a little more, since we are having trouble putting on his shoes. Hopefully the extra exercise will take care of the problem naturally, and we can cut out a few more pills from the pile. The swelling doesn’t come from his diabetes, since the quarterly blood sample showed that it was well within manageable limits. The highlight of the week was that two new books arrived that will be presented at the Vyasa-puja ceremony. This will be held December 7 at the Stuyvesnt Falls VFW post, and you can see the details posted in the weekly Journal and some daily Facebook postings. Any good news about the book production or distribution is completely enlivening,
Hare Krsna, Hari Hari
Baladeva”
When You play with the gopis and tease them, it may appear like mundane dealings between a man and women to those who lack the divine vision. To those who hear of Your madhurya pastimes according to the teachings of the acaryas, Your sports with the gopis are the purest and highest expressions of spirituality. I want to gradually know You in this way. Please accept me as a sober but enthusiastic student to learn of Your pastimes with Radharani so I can enter Her shelter and be protected from false conclusions. I have at present no qualifications to approach You but ask that You help keep me attached to my Guru Maharaja’s teachings and actions. Only then may I hope to actually attain You.
******
What I seek and feel is lacking is bhakti. I don’t want to chant mechanically. I want to feel the meaning of the Hare Krsna mantras as I repeat them: “Please engage me in Your service. Please reveal the essence of Nama to me.” This seeking and crying has to be there, beyond the accumulation of numbers of rounds.
******
On winning the NBA championship, basketball star Kobe Bryant said, “I feel as if a huge monkey has been lifted off my back.” When I finish my daily quota of japa, I feel as if a monkey has been lifted off my back. Of course, it is a guaranteed thing that I will finish my vow every day. But until it is completed, I am not relieved. Prabhupada has given us the sixteen-round quota, and it must be done. It is a pleasure to be able to complete the quota and keep that bond with him every day. It makes you feel successful in your personal commitment to him. Sometimes some of the later rounds are not done as well as the beginning rounds. There is a touch of getting them out of the way. But sometimes that doesn’t happen, and you go strong through the whole quota. That is best. The concept of completing a solemn vow every day is very good for one’s sadhana. And chanting some extra makes you feel good. You feel clean and honest, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. It must be done, even if you have a headache and some of the last rounds are of poor quality.
******
Initiated devotees who don’t complete their sixteen rounds are missing out on spiritual life. Krsna forgives them, but they have let themselves down in a basic way. Once a devotee who was not chanting anymore told me that he took the vow when he was only nineteen years old, and he did not feel responsible for a decision made at such a young age. But that is not the right attitude. There may have been a risk involved in taking a lifelong vow at a young age, but one should feel responsible for it and not take it as an immature decision. You came before Krsna with an innocent and open heart and made the promise, and He accepted it. Life is short enough, and not that much changes in growing from nineteen to twenty-nine to thirty-nine and so on. At least not that much changes in a vow made to God, although much may change externally in one’s worldly affairs.
******
Losing faith in the chanting is another thing. Such a basic commitment should not waver, even though one does not feel he is making progress spiritually by his daily chanting. We realize that we have a mountain of dirty things to chip away at, so it is no surprise that a lifetime can go by of steadily chanting and still unwanted things remain in the heart. That is not a reason to abandon the only chance one has for eradicating the dirt. It is important to keep the other parts of the vow made at initiation, the promise to follow the four rules–no intoxication, no meat-eating, no gambling, and no illicit sex. If these promises gradually drop away, then it will be hard to cling to the one promise of chanting in isolation in a life that has become totally materialistic. But even if all that remains is the chanting, one should cling to it like a lifesaver in the ocean and not drop it, thinking that one is too offensive or too sinful to chant.
******
I chant my rounds as
daily vow. It’s not so
hard to find two hours
when you have decided
it’s a must.
Two hours out of twenty-
four as a promise made
long ago to the spiritual master.
“I can do it, I will
do it,” is the required resolution
to complete a task
of sustaining holy utterance.
******
Krsna’s never tired with us. He never gives up on us, no matter how many times we fail Him. He’s always ready to take us back. You’d think He’d be disgusted with us, but He’s too magnanimous for that. Sometimes He destroys some worlds, sends people to hell, but nevertheless, it’s never permanent. After some time, after remorse, He’ll take them back and bring them to the highest point. That’s Krsna, the magnanimous one. Jesus Christ was like that, too. He forgave everyone. Sometimes you get exhausted physically. You’ve done as much as you can, and you lie down, exhausted. So tired. You wait for some refreshment in your body so that you can go on again. Life in this material world is hard. In the spiritual world, they don’t get tired. They can dance the equivalent of twenty-four hours a day without getting tired. We’re given just a little energy here, so that even if we’re blissful, staunch devotees, we can’t do much. We have only a little energy, and then we get tired. But as you build up your devotional service, you’re able to chant longer, you’re able to chant more beads. You don’t get exhausted. You’re able to read more books. It even happens as you grow older, so don’t be tired. Don’t give up….. Let’s pledge never to get tired of serving Krsna.
******
Prabhupada recommends the chanting of Hare Krsna as more possible than the astanga-yoga practice. In a separate purport, he recommends hearing about Krsna. He says the point is to fix the mind on Krsna, as in the verse by Maharaja Ambarisa, sa vai manah krsna-padaravindayor / vacamsi vaikuntha-gunanuvarnane. It was good to hear the reassurance of these practices which I am already doing. It gave me hope to go ahead.
******
Chanting is a great endeavor. I want to give my full attention to each mantra and feel the pastimes of Krsna in my mind. But I can’t do it. I lower my standards and chant. I hear the syllables and keep a good pace. So many people chant without a higher taste, assured that they are doing the best thing. I am one of them.
******
Chanting is like being with your best friend. I relax and utter Their names. Even if it is not topmost, I chant with reverence and attention as best as I am able. I ask Krsna’s forgiveness that I’m not doing better. I’m aware of all my physical and mental limitations that prevent me from soaring into the spiritual realm.
******
At least I prevent my mind from ranging into other subjects. I keep it focused on the mantras themselves. Time goes by, and I’m very careful to use every moment for chanting and not something else. But the time slips by without top performance.
******
Chanting not so well–
you wish that it was better,
counting your favor.
Your bodily pains tie
you down, but you
send your messages through to
Radha and Krsna
and hope They won’t be displeased.
I wish I had a better report,
but need to tell the truth
and hope for better
rounds as the hours
pass by.
pp. 98-102
The next song is everyone’s favorite, suddha-bhakata-carana-renu. I remember reading it in a small collection of unpublished translations passed among the devotees. It struck me more than the other passages. It opened a window for me to understand bliss. It is such an open acknowledgment of the joy he feels in devotional service. It can be true for us too.
“My mind always begs for the opportunity to hear the music of the mrdanga.” (Srila Prabhupada said, “When I hear a mrdanga played in Germany, I become ecstatic”—the joy of the world preacher.) “Upon hearing the kirtana ordained by Lord Caitanya, my heart dances in ecstasy” (Saranagati, 6.3.4).
I feel the greatest joy when I see the Deity forms of Radha and Krsna. When I honor the Lord’s prasada I conquer over worldly illusions. Miracles take place by the simple execution of bhakti practices in the heart of the pure devotee. Especially this one—”Goloka Vrndavana appears in my home whenever I see the worship and service of Lord Hari taking place there.” On reading these lines, we want to tell each other, “Look what can happen!”
When I first read the next line, it was translated like this: “When I take the carnamrta which flows from the Deities, I see it as the Ganges coming directly from the lotus feet of Krsna.”
It depends on your purity, but all these things are possible and potent within the seva. Everyone can meditate like this. We simply have to look at our everyday occurrences with faith. Have faith in the activities that are favorable to pure devotional service. They are designed to provoke ecstasy. Tulasi devi pleases Krsna, so if you serve her, why will you not see how she pleases Him? When you honor sak, one of Lord Caitanya’s favorite vegetable preparations, you can consider your life worthwhile.
Do that which is favorable.
Vines growing up the trunks, bees finding the flowers, clouds in the blue sky—all these mean Radha and Krsna are coming together. I can see it too, just as I can see that the taste of water is Krsna and the sun is His eye. Can I see Radha in the yellow buttercup? Can I think more of Vrndavana?
The routine here is peaceful. Sometimes I picture myself as a small, staggering, feeble person climbing stairs. I don’t know how I look to others. Anyone’s face is a simple mask that doesn’t have the ability to reveal all emotions. There’s a voice out in the valley. My thoughts pass through my mind in this sunlight. They move in a certain direction. This is not suddha bhakata.
Spring is a festival for lovers. In this world it is cheapened and perverted by lusty couples. Better to be a celibate monk and think of the springtime love of Radha and Krsna.
Shiny grass bending your back, do you have a message for me? I can record it. If any daisy or humble weed has something to say about Krsna consciousness, I can record it. I have come here for that purpose.
But please speak up. I don’t think I can bend too far down to hear you speak. You shamrocks with the red spot in the middle of each leaf, I’ve never seen your species before. How did you get that blood spot? If you were growing in India, I’m sure there would be a story in the Puranas about you. If you can’t talk, then at least listen to me chant—Hare Krsna! Hear the holy names of Radha and Krsna. I write in your midst. Even if you don’t like the way I pronounce the maha-mantra with my crackling, harsh voice, please feel it coming from my heart.
The grasses are praised by Lord Caitanya as lowly and fit to chant. The trees are the example of tolerance. You deserve more. Be patient for now and take the opportunity when it comes. If I can yearn from here to go to Vrndavana, why can’t you?
pp. 250-52
As a child, Srila Prabhupada used to think, “When will I be able to worship Krsna like this?” Almost a hundred years ago. Of course, Prabhupada lives on in more than this old, sacred memory. ISKCON is building a large temple in Calcutta; and in Calcutta they hold a Ratha-yatra that rivals the one held at Puri; and Calcuttans have seen, or at least heard, that Srila Prabhupada’s disciples are building a transcendental city in Mayapur.
But the century-old memories of his childhood are also inspiration, a chance to think of him in the presence of the Radha-Krsna Deities he worshiped as a child.
Garuda’s beak is repaired—
an old man
eyes my formal reverence.
In the mandira courtyard—
well-kept cows,
clothes on the line.
Photos near the altar—
none of Prabhupada
who worshiped here.
As he watched Him for hours,
I see Him now—
Krsna with His slanty eyes.
Thin, old pujari
rubs Them shiny,
“Just like in ISKCON.”
With water and Bengali book,
a worshiper sits down,
praising Bhagavan.
Dressing Radharani—
the chatter of sparrows.
Lily in Her hand—
I think of the garden
in Gita-nagari.
Krsna is crowned—
the outside hammering increases.
Applying Her red dot,
placing His silver flute—
the morning is complete.
Departing—sign in a parked car:
“Hare Krsna Ratha-yatra.”
After three days fasting and recuperating in Calcutta, we are now seated on the 5:45 A.M. flight to Delhi. But, “We regret … delay … technical difficulties … ” Officials, laborers, and half the passengers are outside the plane watching repair work on the engine. Sometimes soldiers chase the passengers back onto the plane, but a few minutes later they are all out again, to watch. Hour delay so far. Canceled flight? “Since we do not know how long the delay . . . you may smoke.” The sound system is playing the same melody I’ve heard on all Indian flights. Although Indians seem to imitate Western music and musical instruments, they have a special proclivity for the flute; it is not just a jazz flute but something that reminds one of Krsna.
Indian airplane
delayed for repair—
sound of the flute.
Pillars mark the way. Women with clay pots balanced on their heads, coming from the well. We pass overloaded trucks in the dark: “Sound Horn.” This part of Uttar Pradesh looks more like desert culture, whereas West Bengal was lush, more green and water. Yet along the route to Vrndavana there is also considerable farming, irrigated wheat crop harvested by hand.
These ordinary thoughts about India lead me to think, “Is mine a private life or a public life?” Actually, I lead a public life, servant of ISKCON. This has become more impressed on me since the G.B.C. meetings. Private life sounds like whimsical sense gratification. Even if private life is taken spiritually, it implies seclusion. Prabhupada said, “Don’t think, ‘I have become a devotee of Krsna, let everyone else go to hell.’ ”
Last year I hardly moved at all, but now my travel schedule is restored. Plans for Vancouver, New Vrindaban, the mid-Atlantic temples one after another, then Ireland, Caribbean . . .
pp. 149-56
“But if I die in this condition
my mission will remain unfulfilled.
Please therefore pray to Prabhu Lord Chaitanya
and Vrindaban Bihar, to rescue me this time.
My mission is still not finished.”
It was enough to fell any man,
but he asked his students to pray,
“Our master has not finished his work.”
A bhakti-yogi can evade death’s blow,
and by Krishna’s grace his life’s duration
may grow, and he may step on the head
of approaching Death to go on
with his mission in this world.
In his disciple’s presence
Swamiji fell back and cried, “Hare Krishna!”
That was the moment
it was supposed to end,
by normal calculations.
But he kept going,
the heart kept going,
the mission kept going,
and then he asked for the mantra to be sung,
the prayer to Lord Nrsimha,
and the all-night-praying.
“Our master has not finished . . .”
Krishna carried him over,
as on the Jaladuta
when Krishna had appeared,
reassuring him from a boat.
Stonehearted, dull, selfish youth
got a chance to touch the body
of the pure devotee
in his difficulty while serving Krishna.
“What’s going on?”—the devotees were baffled,
as one by one to the storefront they came
expecting to see Swamiji preaching and strong.
But instead he lay in his room,
and they received pieces of paper
with the prayer on it.
“But who are we to pray?
Isn’t he the only one
who can really pray to the Lord and know Him?”
But he wanted them to pray,
to massage and to worry
how to take care of him
and to decide what to do.
When Acyutananda paused with his mouth open,
Swamiji said, “Why are you idle? Chant Hare Krishna!”
They called San Francisco temple and told
how Swamiji had fallen back,
had almost passed away,
and had cried out,
“Hare Krishna! Hare Krishna!”
Kirtan through the night . . .
“Krishna should not see us sleeping.
What else can we do
but try to chant and pray?”
And they talked:
“Swamiji was not under karma.
How could a pure devotee
be subject to a death blow?”
“The spiritual master may have to suffer
for the misbehavior of his disciples,
but never think he has ordinary pain.”
“By allowing us to massage,
it is another way
to serve him more closely.”
“So many devotees are praying on his behalf.”
Still we are dealing hammer blows
to Maya in this world,
and Prabhupada has warned us
there will be reaction.
Remembering that night
when helplessly we prayed
from the pieces of paper,
we still pray to Lord Nrsimha.
Recalling the emergency
and the prayers and chants required,
we pray to Prabhupada to guide us
through nights when the stab of Maya
hits so hard
we think this is the end.
We must pray to be like him,
as he called out, “Hare Krishna!”
and then went on defying death,
leading us, even in his illness.
Out his window,
tree tops in the park . . .
He stirred in his bed at twilight;
we sat silently at his side.
After hours of silence he spoke,
“I don’t know Krishna.
I only know my Guru Maharaj.”
He extended his right hand to Swami Satchidananda
and spoke in Hindi,
“This is prakrti. What can you expect?”
A faint memory persists,
and I try to hold it,
like holding his hand.
Somewhere within me his smile remains.
Sitting silently on the bedside chair,
fingering my beads,
I felt happiness and pride
simply to be his boy.
Touching his body, massaging the smooth skin . . .
“If I were not ill,” he said, “this would be too familiar.”
They brought a large needle.
He sat up, uncomfortable:
“We are tolerant.”
Walking downtown toward the storefront
after being with him,
with devotees, friends,
carrying things from the hospital,
I was completely satisfied
to be a servant of the Swami.
Not going home to a wife,
or off to a bar,
not going to study mundane books or to smoke,
I felt relief that now he was getting better.
We were walking down the Avenue,
workers on his behalf.
pp. 18-25
Now white gulls rise
like bits of paper
in the buffeting wind.
A girl from the temple
washes pots outside my window.
Only a few palm trees
on the round, brown plain.
To get here, Berbice, Guyana,
we climbed the threatening sky
in a small white Cessna,
and to leave we’ll take a taxi
to preach somewhere next.
It’s two hours before the evening lecture.
What will I speak?
Which verse from the Gita?
Once again,
I’m alone for an hour, speaking to a
poem,
and far away from Home.
All devotees are great souls,
and when I think of them I appreciate.
Like we make fun of G.
because he wants a wife,
but in this age to want marriage
is actually renunciation.
Some disciples like to give presents
like a pen or towels,
but others give their lives as presents.
Travel is good for a sannyasi’s detachment.
You don’t remember the women;
you get to speak to more people;
you keep going.
In the storm clouds in a small plane,
when being shuffled around in a car,
when entering a new country,
when you have to wait on lines,
when you have to respect ordinary people,
that’s good for chanting and for tolerance.
It is relishable to be far away from home.
You start to realize that you have no home.
You stay transcendental longer,
and when you come down
you can always travel further and preach.
You see the world as full of opportunity.
People are suffering everywhere.
One government has a plan
that the people shouldn’t eat much.
They outlaw food and money.
For a government like America
that is unheard of.
They torture people in a different way:
by pressure of conformity.
Without being up to date in the news
you still get by.
If you are absorbed in something better
then when latest news catches up,
you just say “Oh,” and you
go on talking about Krsna.
Get up, friends, disciples!
Get up, you who are in the clutches of bad dreams!
Get away from the atheists.
(Do not say you cannot.)
Rise from the bones; rise from the flesh.
Assert the spirit soul.
You can.
You must.
In predawn, eternal love awaits —
if you will rise. If you don’t,
how much you will regret it!
“He called, but I did not get up!”
The next demand is to chant.
But first where is your shoe?
Grab it and beat the mind a hundred times,
then speak and hear (tongue and ear)
the Hare Krsria japa —
O if the mind would listen to God’s Name!
The dodging, bucking, swerving mind.
Try again to return to the Names.
Then join with others
as a cheer goes up before the opening doors.
Brightshining are the multiforms of God:
Mother Hara and graceful Krsna,
triumphant, upraised Gaura-Nitai,
smiling, sturdy Jagannathas.
Bow and rise.
Here is the yearned-for:
His lotus feet.
I am not dead,
hand me the cymbals.
I’ll sing the first line alone,
then drum and karatalas join.
We’re swaying, building rhythm,
until everyone is dancing.
Enthusiasm flows,
a river of love of God.
It is hard to make it
in spiritual life,
but singing and dancing are easy.
Full of wavering thoughts,
we admit,
“It’s hard, but it’s worth it.”
We’re not always in the blissful light.
We sink in the non-eternal,
but when we chant and dance,
contaminations run
like filth washed off
in the swift, flowing river.
pp. 141-44
Answered mail yesterday afternoon. One disciple wrote to say I write too many books. She didn’t say it in a kind way, like, “I love them, but I have no time to read them all.” No, she wanted to know what purpose they serve. She said they distract devotees from Prabhupada’s books. I won’t pursue it here, but I didn’t appreciate her opinion. She said she likes only the books I write on japa and sastra, as if there’s nothing else to say. Maybe she’s right. Others see it differently, though.
I like Kapiladeva’s instructions. One set of verses describes the many virtues that one should practice in yoga: live in a secluded place, don’t be a thief, eat frugally, be clean, study the Vedas, worship the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Each one is nice, so contrary to the life of the nondevotee. But to practice these virtues, we have to be guided by the expert spiritual master. Some crazy cultists follow a few of these virtues and then commit suicide. It is so easy to crash off the road.
I came here splayed out this morning because I’ve been answering so many letters. I have about ten left. Maybe I should do them now.
Neither have I chosen what to speak about tomorrow to the devotees. When I saw the world crashing through my peaceful late afternoon reading and writing yesterday, I again felt the positive attraction to a simple life based on hearing, chanting, and writing. I want to come back to it as soon as possible. I shouldn’t doubt it the way I do. But I also realized how grateful I am to be able to answer all this mail. It’s a strain physically and mentally, but last night I was finally able to break through, find my voice, and respond to each letter.
Kapila teaches hatha-yoga with the goal of fixing the mind on vaikuntha-lila. The same thing can be achieved more simply by chanting Hare Krsna.
My mind is trying to read Srimad-Bhagavatam and at the same time choose a topic for tomorrow’s class. Madhu suggested I read and comment on Caitanya-caritamrta. I haven’t done that in awhile. I’m more into the Bhagavatam right now. Have I read anything recently that would lend itself? I want something tailored to this group of devotees.
How and why to raise llamas on a tourist farm?
Or I could talk about
the new flood of stars found in the Milky Way,
the cloning of Dolly,
the 50th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s
breaking into the major leagues,
but the purpose is to revive our
Krsna consciousness. A pledge of allegiance
speech for Srila Prabhupada and ISKCON?
Sankirtana stories from Moscow?
My answers to certain letters . . .
I could discuss the topics anonymously,
or would that still be considered a breach
of confidentiality?
The unconscious in the Vedas.
Why Proust and Dostoevsky didn’t write too much,
according to their fans.
The dreams I have of being lost in the Navy.
Analysis of Srila Prabhupada’s teachings
on women in the Vedas.
Hare Krsna maha-mantra.
O Lord, check out your answered mail
and see if you can pull out some favorites.
Back to Bhagavatam . . .
“The mind should be fixed on the personal form of the Lord, whose attitude is cheerful . . ” (Bhag. 3.28.13, purport) This is samadhi. I seem to flit on and off the page like a titmouse. The more I come back to it . . . good. Little “samadhis.” Little attempts.
When you confess your shortcomings, your stock goes down with those who seek a perfect guru absorbed in vraja-lila and goes up with those seeking an honest voice. Be detached. Krsna has a spiritual body. He has everything, and He even contains the impersonal. But His personal form is best because He likes it.
The Supreme Lord’s lotus feet are not a myth or a fantasy, not an image from the collective unconscious. They are reality. Carl Jung could never accept that. I don’t meditate on his archetypes or of things that come to me in my dreams or trances.
You mean you accept this description in Srimad-Bhagavatam?
Yes, I do, although I can’t meditate on Krsna either. I’d like to . . . (said lamely).
What’s this? He doesn’t say his prayers with bhakti? He accepts the arca-murti to be God but doesn’t worship Him? Whv is that?
He doesn’t have time. It requires four brahmanas. He’s busy worshiping the book bhagavata and writing this in the few spare moments he has before and after something else.
pp. 105-7
How to increase Vraja consciousness? You could read esoteric books. But just go ahead and say, “I will go to Vrndavana in the winter, in January, when it’s so cold because they have no heating in the houses.” You could wear long johns under the dhoti and layers of sweaters under a bundi and a hat and gloves.
Here’s a picture of Krsnadasa Kaviraja Goswami. Prabhupada is always in Vrndavana. In Vrndavana, he lectured against the scientists. It’s not that you have to talk of gopis to be in tune with Karttika in Vrndavana. Be Krsna conscious. Use, tell well. And best use is preaching. So, make yourself an all-around fit person, in a senior position (like it or not) to set a good, humble example in ISKCON.
Think of Karttika like that.
Theme is don’t rev but flow. Be yourself in physical limits, but open up (like a flower). You are in a nonthreatening atmosphere and can open up and talk.
Make this for yourself to improve yourself.
It’s okay then. Bring a tape recorder into the bathroom and hear Swamiji lecture.
Karttika dance
in pants
in part it’s
devotion to self for
devotion to Krishna.
You are to know better
but as yet don’t much
regarding Krishna!
Mister, please take a book on Vedic science.
The best he could do at ten to two.
He’s run out of steam.
Remember, I haven’t written for long stretches in a long time. I’m just building up to it. I promise good times ahead.
Geez, can’t you do better than that? And why show this to others? Listen, it’s all I could do. Accept it so that better can come with the beautiful picture you copied from it. At least I got to look at it carefully and admire the artistry and devotion, Gaudiya style. Your botch is your own self.
Now let’s go chant
botch rounds
whispered and louder
you’re in a safe place
with support.
Please go nicely and gentle but quickly recite
Hare Krishna mantra your master gave you,
you are authorized to chant.
Pray Lord, let me hear.
My tongue and ear are for that.
This opportunity now.
Stopped by Police
It occurred to me that I ought to do things “as if” this is it, this is my last position or statement in life. One should always have this awareness, but there is a certain factual accuracy to it if you knew you were at the very end of life. When one has a warning of a definite end, then he tends to make apologies to persons he may have offended, and he makes a last effort to cut himself off from various material interests, nondevotional books, and so on. There’s no more justification for it. It’s time to drop all illusions and also antagonisms and foolish, material attachments, romantic feelings, anything that will hinder one as he is forced? to leave this body and take a new one.
I heard Srila Prabhupada comparing material nature to the police force. He said the law and order department is so strict that even a child is not excused. If a child touches fire, he will also be burned. It struck me since I heard this while suffering a headache. So, it’s the police.
Sometimes I’ve been thinking that it’s Krishna directly handling me since I’m a devotee. But even if I flatter myself in that way, still, Krishna might be using the material energy to punish me. I don’t think I’m an ordinary culprit. I’m Prabhupada’s disciple, so there should be some special consideration. Even if I take it that way, that Krishna is removing from me the last vestiges of material attachment, still, it appears that it is He who has sent the police. And so, I have been busted.
It went on all day yesterday, persisted after twelve hours in bed, and now my lawyers are still negotiating with the police to let me free. Come on, give the guy a break, it’s Karttika and he wants to write some books.
What is my crime? Perhaps there is no crime I didn’t commit. I am mostly rectified, but the last reactions are being meted out in token measure. Tat te ‘nukampam susamiksamano.
pp. 95-102
We say those born in India are more fortunate because
by birth they honor the guru.
But we ex-mlecchas are also fortunate.
We are completely dependent on Prabhupada.
We can’t claim to go on our own
straight to the sastra and say
Raghunatha Gosvami is now my guru.
We know it’s Prabhupada
who picked us up and keeps us
in spiritual life.
I didn’t love you enough and all that.
In your last days I didn’t come close enough,
you know all that. I did hold your
foot and pat it with the white powder
your mother used on you when you were a boy.
I treasure and recite your
words all my life.
Nowadays I’m aware I’m failing in bolder acts.
I take solace that
I’m close to you in inward acts
like reading your books.
I am one of many many. What father
has so many sons and daughters? How can he
keep track of them?
I have a claim.
I am mentioned in his day book
for January—June, 1966.
I gave a donation.
I typed for him.
Say my name to him and I bet
he remembers me.
He’ll call me to him and laugh a little.
Then he’ll get serious.
I’ll feel bad about the writing I’ve done
just as I did that night he called me to him
in Detroit at 10 P.M. and
said, “Write another book.”
Every day you have to come to Prabhupada anew,
the sound of his voice . . . you have to overcome
thoughts that you’ve heard it all before
and the ways you find fault with him.
Every day you manage.
He comes through to you
by the force of his intelligent sayings,
by the authority of Sri Krsna.
It comes through in his conviction.
He’s condemning all the mudhas . . .
They don’t know the soul in the body.
And what else did he say?
You find something he said,
you read something he wrote,
you agree to follow.
He orders and you obey.
Every day this happens.
He is in his pictures, yet not in them.
In his lectures, for sure.
Hari-sauri’s diary gives us an accurate
picture of living with him
when he got onto the airplane
and in answering the mail.
He was annoyed, happy, looked tired,
said something private and his servant noted it.
And now in this room,
his picture over the desk, his joined palms,
eyes closed and serene,
saffron cotton kurta,
tulasi neck beads. That’s our uniform too.
Every day every hour, Srila Prabhupada,
when I most seem to be alone
when writing the Writing Session,
you are with me then.
I offer it to you.
I’ll be a good writer and
knock down the nondevotees.
I’ll do it for you.
I’ve got hundreds of photos of Prabhupada
and supposedly I’m in each one.
They are in no special order . . . 1973, 1971, 1977—
mostly morning walks and I am
one of the crowd.
I went through them like a file clerk.
There I am, there he is, there’s
someone else . . . Look at us all
surrounding him on the beach.
That’s Europe,
there’s Bhagavan dasa with long hair, Hamsaduta
I look so young and handsome in this one.
Oh, this one I should keep separate,
he is looking at me.
I’m wearing a swami hat,
I’m holding the microphone,
Prabhupada has a special expression.
Then I get confused, nothing seems real . . .
I go outside and as I unlock the gate
I see myself as in those photos,
young me and Prabhupada walking.
But he is not here. I am alone.
The young man is now old,
walking alone on an Irish road.
He is a writer who likes to live alone.
Where is his spiritual master?
Who is more important, guru or disciple?
How is it possible we can all be
accommodated as intimate servants of Gurudeva?
You might as well ask
how can so many members of the Yadu dynasty
live in Dvaraka?
How can millions of gopas and gopis play with Him?
He can do it.
I walk and chant
as he told me
and do this writing
to offer to him.
I didn’t like to be with
so many of his disciples.
It was like a roller derby bumping up against
them for a space beside him.
I was jostling along with them,
a little skinnier than most but
I had my own weapons, somehow
got a place beside him
and did my work.
But after his disappearance many
couldn’t take it anymore.
Why eat that crap?
Some felt wounded
or didn’t have taste anymore for spiritual life.
We were big disappointments
and were ourselves disappointed.
There is a lot of talk about bringing all his
disciples back together for his Centennial.
That would be nice. But what does it mean?
Can you bring him back
for his Centennial?
Will we go on a morning walk
and cluster around him?
I don’t think that’s possible.
I like to be here in Wicklow
writing this and hearing him speak.
It may be that I have fallen behind the pack
and they are still walking with him. Maybe.
But I think I’m doing as well as the rest.
I think we are each bereft of our spiritual guide.
In the beginning he had to
personally bring me to him.
I’m going my own way, it’s service to him
in separation. If he wants me to
be physically part of the pack
he’ll have to come back and put me in line.
Otherwise I think I’m doing
as well as they are.
We are each bereft.
And we have each found him
in our own favorite way.
At least that’s how I feel.
Prabhupada is mine.
pp. 62-68
“If you want to know me, read my books.”
Srila Prabhupada rose early in the morning and spoke alone to Krsna; through his books he shared these “conversations” with the whole world. His purports are a special, intimate communion with him, and through them, we can know Krsna.
We can gain more appreciation for Srila Prabhupada’s books just by understanding how much time and effort he put into writing them for our benefit. He personally typed the First and Second Cantos of Srimad-Bhagavatam on his small, portable typewriter. Later, he began to dictate the verses and purports onto tapes and mail them to the typist. He rose early, usually around 1 a.m., and in the quiet of those early morning hours, he would absorb himself in the voices of the previous acaryas and then present their words for the common understanding of the world.
Prabhupada said, “The purports are my devotional ecstasies.” Ecstasy was a very important part of Lord Caitanya’s influence in preaching. Stern warnings from preachers may not prompt us to leave the material world, but the ecstasy of the Lord and His devotees can attract us. We can get a taste of that ecstasy if we submissively study Srila Prabhupada’s books.
There are many other statements made by Srila Prabhupada to describe the importance of his books. He said, “My books will be the lawbooks for human society for the next ten thousand years,” and, “So there is nothing to be said new. Whatever I have to say, I have spoken in my books.” “My purports are liked by people because it is presented by practical experience. It cannot be done unless one is realized.” He told his disciples to “cram” his purports and that writing is the first duty of a sannyasi. And he told the book distributors, “My books are like gold. It doesn’t matter what you say about them. One who knows the value, he will purchase.”
Srila Prabhupada was aware that he would make mistakes in trying to present the philosophy in the English language and other foreign languages. In Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.5.11 purport, he states, “Our capacity of presenting the matter in adequate language, especially a foreign language, will certainly fail and there may be so many literary discrepancies in spite of our honest attempt to present it in the proper way.” But he was sure that the leaders of society would accept his attempt despite the discrepancies, because of his honest desire to glorify the “Almighty Great.”
People were hankering for these books. Prabhupada had a great missionary feeling about the production of literature (his spiritual master had told him on several occasions to print books in English language). He wanted to fulfill Lord Caitanya’s prophecy that the Lord’s name would be known in every town and village through the distribution of books. And if there were faults in the language of the presentation, he knew his message was so urgent that the people in the “burning house” of the material world would hear it and respond.
The Bhaktivedanta purports are based on the commentaries of the previous acaryas. Srila Prabhupada would work from a Bengali translation of the Bhagavatam, with commentaries by twelve acaryas, such as Visvanatha Cakravarti, Jiva Gosvami, Sanatana Gosvami, Sridhara Svami, Madhvacarya, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, and Bhaktivinoda Thakura. The Bhagavad-gita is dedicated to and follows the commentary of Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana; the Caitanya-caritamrta purports are summarized from those written by Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati and Bhaktivinoda Thakura.
Even if we consider that Prabhupada’s purports are partly translations of previous commentaries, this does not diminish our gratitude for his preaching and giving us access to the thoughts and devotion of the disciplic succession. Once, the devotees were commenting on how quickly Prabhupada was writing. Prabhupada said, “Oh, I can finish very quickly, but I have to present it for your understanding. It requires deep thought, very carefully to present.”
And neither were his purports just static translations of other commentaries, but he struggled to apply the words of the previous acaryas to the present-day mentality of the Westerners. We can imagine how difficult this must have been—trying to present the principles of Vedic government, or the position of women in Vedic culture, or even the necessity to avoid sinful life—to persons who were addicted to sense gratification and who had no idea what was wrong with it. He saturated his purports with Krsna and built the groundwork to supply his readers with the cultural language to enable them to enter into the pages of the Bhagavatam.
Many scholars appreciated his purports for this reason. Dr. Bruce Long, from the Department of Asian Studies at Cornell University, wrote:
Anyone who gives a close reading to the commentary will sense that here, as in his other works, Sri Bhaktivedanta has combined a healthy mixture of the fervent devotion and aesthetic sensitivity of a devotee with the intellectual rigor of a textual scholar. At no point does the author allow the intended meaning of the text to be eclipsed by the promotion of a particular doctrine or persuasion.
Thomas Hopkins commented that Srila Prabhupada had bridged “an enormous cultural gap” by his purports. Scripture that was originally composed for people in a completely different cultural milieu was being made applicable to Westerners. He adds:
The kind of teaching that really makes an impact is the kind where you know that someone is speaking out of his own experience. You certainly get that sense with Bhaktivedanta Swami… When that wealth of knowledge and insight is processed through the mind and experience of a holy person, it emerges as a statement of his own understanding.
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.