His Holiness Satsvarupa dasa Goswami Maharaja
Vyasa-puja Birthday Celebration
Saturday, December 7, 2024What
Meeting of Disciples and friends of SDG
Where
The Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall
845 Hudson Avenue
Stuyvesant Falls, New York 12174There is plenty of parking near the Hall. The facility is just a few minutes’ walk from SDG’s home at 909 Albany Ave.
Schedule
- 10:00 –10:30 A.M.: Kirtana
- 10:30 – 11:15 A.M.: Presentation by Satsvarupa Maharaja
- 11:15 – 12:30 A.M.: Book Table
- 12:30 – 1:15 P.M.: Arati and kirtana
- 1:15 – 2:15 P.M.: Prasadam Feast
Contact
Baladeva Vidyabhusana at [email protected] or (518) 754-1108
Krsna dasi at [email protected] or (518) 822-7636
“Satsvarupa Maharaja is still exhausted from the hospital adventure but was given a good report by a visiting nurse doing the follow-up. All his vital signs were good, and his disorientation is slowly returning to the baseline from before the pneumonia. Satsvarupa Maharaja is looking forward to the Vyasa-puja but will probably reduce his participation. This is a good sign. He’s not in denial about his condition, so he will not be so likely to over-extend himself and then crash.
Baladeva
Are you afraid to meet God in His holy names? Afraid to meet yourself? Is that why I turn away from full attention? Do you fear Him as Arjuna feared the universal form? It isn’t something I have thought much about. Why am I reciting His names day after day if I want to avoid meeting Him? But even great devotees like Dhruva Maharaja were speechless and afraid when they first got Krishna’s darsana. As soon as you seriously begin to approach Him by His holy names, you become afraid. Therefore you allow your mind to go off. A whole lifetime could be spent in this way—afraid of what you will become in comparison to Krsna when He manifests. So you prefer to keep it all distant, as a ritual, and you candidly confess, “It is very hard to control the mind.” You expect your friends will sympathize because they also find it hard. I don’t think my fear theory tells the whole story, but I glimpsed it today.
******
I am left with my overfamiliar, stay-on-the-surface bad habits. There is no way to bypass them, it seems. Neither am I working hard to change them. I humbly accept a low state and count my blessings that I am up earlier than most, I am awake, and there are other services that I can do with more competence than chanting. It’s like accepting the fact that you lost your legs in a car accident or that your wife is unfaithful. You live with it: “I’m a poor chanter.” Is that the way to go through life?
******
We have to directly apply for Krsna’s mercy. “Please pick me up and place me as one of the atoms at Your lotus feet.” Chanting is not a ritual to pacify God; it is a heartfelt calling out to Him for mercy. Chanting is not meant to help us create a favorable, material situation (the eighth offense against the holy name); it is meant to free us from all material situations. But the dullness of body and the tricky nature of the maya-influenced mind often render us incapable of pure chanting. If we can actually achieve suddha-nama, then we will be freed from the material world. We will then truly understand and act on the realization of aham-brahmasmi. Such an apparently simple act as utterance of hari-nama in devotion can do all this. The sastras compare pure chanting to a lightning bolt making dust out of a mountain peak. The mountain represents our accumulated karma and ignorant thoughts. We should beg for a lightning bolt to strike us, even if we are afraid of the jolt.
******
What to do with the mind during japa? As if I can logically, reasonably, ready the mind to chant. I have tried different approaches. I have tried ignoring the mind. I have tried simplifying my life to the point where my mind’s demands have no choice but to simplify. I have given myself lessons in the sastra. I have appealed to my higher nature. Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura advises, when all else fails, beat the mind with a broom in the morning and a shoe at night.
******
When we cannot control the mind, when we are dull or paralyzed by illusory conceptions of ourselves, we can still go on with our external utterances of nama-japa with faith. We can also pray that the day will come when we can taste the sweetness of chanting, and when that sweetness will spill over into all our other devotional activities.
******
Speaking on chanting in a lecture, Srila Prabhupada said,
“We should not go to God for material things. We should go to God for begging how one can be engaged in His service. Hare Krishna mantra means that. ‘Hare’ means, ‘O energy of God,’ and ‘Krishna’ means, ‘Lord Krishna, please engage me in Your service.’ Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. It is simply praying, ‘O my Lord Krishna, O Srimati Radharani, kindly engage me in Your service.’ Finished all business” (Lecture, Hawaii 6/8/73).
This is the desired mood, begging for service.
******
There is such a difference between chanting with offenses and chanting with a heart melted in perfect love of God. Chanting is the best and easiest way to attain love of God, but poor chanting is itself the main obstacle.
******
The Nectar of Devotion lists sixty-four offenses and states that these can be relieved by taking refuge in Krishna. If one offends Krishna Himself, then one can save himself by chanting. But according to the Padma Purana, if one offends the chanting:
“. . . One must definitely fall from one’s spiritual life should one commit offenses to Lord Hari’s name, Who is the best Friend of all.” (Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu 1.2.120).
If someone were to ask me which offense in chanting is my “favorite,” I would have to state “pramada, inattention, from which all the other offenses spring.” One doesn’t care enough—or he is otherwise unable—to pay attention while praying to hari-nama. Often inattention is a result of hearing or speaking sadhu-ninda.
pp. 3-8
The divine form of my master, Srila Prabhupada, frequently appears in my art. On occasion I draw or paint devotional pictures of Swamiji and I together at 26 Second Avenue. There is one of me sitting in front of Swamiji and looking at him intently, prayerfully. I was surprised when I drew it, but then it made me realize how drawings can create their own life, a new possibility in my relationship with Prabhupada.
In this painting, Prabhupada looks like a murti, his skin golden. He’s not looking at me. He seems absorbed in his kirtana. Or perhaps he is looking past me at the others who have assembled in the storefront. That’s the freedom of artwork, that you can place yourself right in front of your gurudeva, intent on getting his mercy, looking up to him with worshipful eyes, trying to penetrate his solemnity, his peace, and become absorbed in it.
One of the reasons I attempt to worship my spiritual master in this way is that my love for Prabhupada is the beginning and essence of my spiritual life. Devotees sometimes ask why I put so much of myself in my writing (and drawing). What can I say? I exist. Prabhupada told me that the feeling that “I am something” is not wrong. I simply have to understand who I actually am. Then he taught me that I was Krsna’s eternal servant. Although I exist in a false conception, I exist in a real conception too.
Submission to Prabhupada was not a manifestation of false ego, but of Prabhupada’s mercy. Therefore, these drawings are not of my false ego, but of a person about to serve, who first came before his spiritual master to beg permission and acceptance. Besides that, Prabhupada liked to see me. He liked to see all his disciples. He didn’t think we were ugly because he could see past the body to the soul. He was interested not in our expertise, but in our hearts.
We like to remember the simplicity and innocence of those days at 26 Second Avenue when Swamiji chanted Hare Krsna, surrounded by wild Americans who he had turned into ecstatic chanters of the holy name. We were crude, but Prabhupada refined us little by little.
Would I like to go back to those days? Perhaps I am holding onto some romantic conception of myself and my relationship with Prabhupada. I had so many material desires then. I must be in better shape now. I wouldn’t really want to go back, at least not as I am now. But those days were full of the freshness of hope and faith and Krsna conscious spirit we had in 1966. Krsna consciousness in New York City. I was there! Swamiji was there! It happened, by Krsna’s grace. The spirit of 26 Second Avenue was summed up by Prabhupada: “These boys, you will see that they are practically thinking of Krsna twenty-four hours a day. We have so many engagements. We have manufactured engagements. Someone is typing, someone is editing, someone is writing, someone is distributing or dispatching, someone is cooking.” I don’t know whether we really can ever go back, but ultimately, that “going back” means returning to the spiritual world. That is the meaning of 26 Second Avenue.
pp. 123-26
Well, folks, Dennis arrived carrying the parcel from America. It finally got here! M. came right into the room with it and I cut up the box with scissors (and cut my thumb in the process). The package contained a large number of microcassettes.It also contained bags of things like buckwheat flour and other flours with which M. could have prepared sweets and other offerings for the last Ekadasi. It contained three kinds of offered sweets, a Teachings of Lord Caitanya (and while we sat on the floor, I read the section where Sarvabhauma Bhattacarya eats prasadam from Lord Caitanya’s hand).
The package also held thirty letters, and most importantly, the long-awaited Tenth Canto, Chapters 6-12. By reading them, I can almost complete my project of reading Srimad-Bhagavatam, the Bhaktivedanta purports, and having selected excerpts typed up into a little booklet.
After reading the Lord Caitanya pastime, I opened the package of offered sweets and we each ate one, although they are now stale and old, and as the Bhattacarya states, are “prasadam that has come from a long distance.” Suddenly I realized how impetuous it was to eat them right under Prabhupada’s altar without offering any to him. We stopped what we were doing and I asked M. to put the sweets on a plate for Srlla Prabhupada. It is only by his mercy that we can have such fun and remain innocent. I should not have overlooked him.
I am seeking to answer my letters not in a mechanical way, but more in the mood a priest must find who sits all day in the confessional if he is to have any real compassion. The priest I had growing up would not look at me when I spoke my confession, would give his little prepared speech, his prescribed atonement, then as he was shoving the screen closed in my face say, “Now make a good act of contrition.” I’m sure not all priests are like that, and I certainly don’t want to be like that when I open the letters.
A sunny day during the last week before
Christmas. Wouldn’t you know, M.
is now talking
with a brogue as if he were a long-time
resident of back-country Kerry.
He said his grandfather couldn’t understand
even a Dublin accent, what to speak of
someone from London.
Americans are a Far-West parish,
so just imagine.
I can see I am getting displaced
by the contents of the parcel. My poem songs
came from alone and now I’ll have to find
a new way to go to
Krsna, Krsna, Krsna.
On the cover of Srimad-Bhagavatam
Tenth Canto, Part II, baby
Krsna is being bathed by Mother Yasoda,
and Nanda is there. On the back cover
Krsna is in Trnavarta’s arms
high over Vrndavana.
Imagine being way up there like that,
perhaps in one of those Western tourist gas balloons
over Vraja. I fantasize that someone asked me to go
and I did, saw Radha-kunda from up there,
and Govardhana.
I tried to impress the beauty on my mind but
was too worried about where we would land.
No, if I was asked, I wouldn’t go in a gas balloon.
Neither would Kadamba-kanana.
We prefer to stick to duty
on Bhaktivedanta Swami Marg. Now here I am,
far from Vrndavana, but the book cover shows
my Krsna high in the sky in a demon’s arms
soon to plummet and land safely.
This the Christmas for which I yearned.
Pain beginning. I never know exactly what brings it.
Perhaps this time it was the chill.
pp. 188-92
Today we read the last section in the KRSNA book where Krsna and the residents of Vrndavana meet at Kuruksetra. “Because of Their filial affection for Nanda and Yasoda, both Lord Krsna and Balarama became choked up, and for a few seconds They could not speak. . . . As far as the gopis of Vrndavana were concerned, from the very beginning of their lives, they did not know anything beyond Krsna . . . . No one can even imagine how anxious the gopis were to see Krsna again” (KRSNA, Vol. 3, pp. 89, 90). Lord Krsna went to a secluded place to meet the gopis. He spoke to them more of what He had written in His letter delivered by Uddhava. He said that everything is a manifestation of His energy and therefore He is existing everywhere. “My dear gopis, I request that instead of being so afflicted, you try to accept everything with a philosophical attitude. Then you will understand that you are always with Me and that there is no cause of lamentation in our being separated from one another” (KRSNA, Vol. 3, p. 92).
Srila Prabhupada makes it clear that these passages are not out of our reach. He writes, “This important instruction by Lord Krsna’s to the gopis can be utilized by all devotees engaged in Krsna consciousness.”
The gopis reply to Krsna, “Dear Krsna, we are always busy in our family affairs. We therefore request that You remain within our hearts as the rising sun.” When we read these passages, we cannot deny that we are included in the loving affairs of Krsna. But still, we are far away from realizing it in our own lives. Our feelings are sublime during the reading, but we cannot sustain our meditation on it throughout the day. As soon as I leave the room, Madhu and Ganga burst out laughing. On the porch I write a little summary of what we have read, but then I gaze absently at the Wicklow hills.
We are thankful to Srila Prabhupada for giving us regular work within the domain of bhakti. Madhu walks quickly out to the Renault van where he always has more construction or secretarial work. Ganga starts cooking lunch. Madhu and Ganga are assistants at this “writing retreat,” and my job is to write. Similarly, devotees in ISKCON all over the world have tasks. Prabhupada set it up this way so that we would always be busily engaged in Krsna consciousness. He writes, “One has to follow the rules and regulations prescribed by the acaryas, and thus, under superior guidance, Krsna-realization is fully possible, even in this material existence” (KRSNA, Vol. 3, p. 93).
Prabhupada’s books are filled with “shoulds.”
“One who is twice born . . . should reside in the gurukula under the care of the spiritual master. There he should study and learn all the Vedic literatures along with their supplements and the Upanisads, according to his ability and power to study. If possible, the student or disciple should reward the spiritual master with the remuneration the spiritual master requests, and then, following the master’s order, the disciple should leave and accept one of the other asramas, namely the grhastha-asrama, vanaprastha-asrama or sannyasa-asrama, as he desires. (Bhag. 7.12.13-14)
He advised Gandhi to engage himself cent per cent in preaching the Bhagavad-gita. Gandhi’s problem, according to Abhay, was that “You never accepted a guru in the disciplic succession, although Krsna recommends it in the Bhagavad-gita.” Gandhi was well known for listening to his inner voice and extracting ideas from various writers. He also underwent severe penances, which could have been avoided if he had approached a guru in disciplic succession. Abhay asked Gandhi to retire for at least one month for discussing the Bhagavad-gita, but of course he never heeded.
Prabhupada wrote many letters during these years in India. He wrote to all the leading politicians and to anyone he thought would listen. In one sense, the letters had little effect. But one effect it did have was to enable Prabhupada to focus all his energies as a preacher. It helped him to form practical plans of action, and to seek out interested persons through correspondence. He was repeatedly turned down, but he never felt discouraged; he always anticipated finding a sympathizer. He kept copies of all his letters and their replies. Through the letter-writing, Prabhupada developed a keen sense of dedication to Lord Caitanya’s mission without getting entangled in the quarrels of the Gaudiya Math.
It is inspiring to look back and consider Prabhupada’s intense preaching practices through the medium of correspondence. Devotees nowadays can preach in a similar way, based on Prabhupada’s example. Sometimes devotees think that because they are householders or not in association with local temple administration, they are not able to preach, but Prabhupada has shown how a person can preach in any situation. You can buy a newspaper or magazine, pick up on any article or any person’s name, and write to them. Then you can keep copies of any replies you receive and develop a whole network of persons interested in corresponding about Krsna consciousness. Even if the responses are predominantly negative, you will be training yourself as a preacher and writer, and you will have the satisfaction of following in Prabhupada’s footsteps.
pp. 162-65
Reading . . . I read some Cc. this morning. Pray with it. First prayer is, “Please let me read nicely, with submission.” You need to pray because as Lord Brahma said:
“My Lord, if one is favored by even a slight trace of the mercy of Your lotus feet, he can understand the greatness of Your personality. But those who speculate to understand the Supreme Personality of Godhead are unable to know You, even though they continue to study the Vedas for many years.”—Bhag. 10.14.29, as quoted in Cc. Madhya 11.104
I pray for that by pausing as I read, quietly bowing my head and asking for it. I have the power to enter because I have brains to comprehend it, but more importantly, I already have Prabhupada’s mercy when he ordered me, “Whenever you get time, read my books.” To pray and push out doubts takes practice. Finally, it requires direct mercy.
It’s the same with writing. I have to write from a life filled with a devotional mood. Then it’s worth something. Writing should express bhava, even the emotion of emptiness. I wrote like this at Castlegregory. I went to the ocean and felt tiny and ordinary. That writing I called Forgetting the Audience, and I think it was the first time I had written like that.
Writing isn’t crazy or simply passion. I want to get something out. I’m not in the grip of the inner critic but I am learning to let go. Some nonsense may also come out, but I trust the process even though it doesn’t always lead to instant success. At least I feel relieved. Life is short and soon we’ll die. We have to do what Krsna has allowed us to do before it’s too late, and we have to do it free from the pressure others place upon us wittingly or unwittingly. We have to face ourselves and develop a quiet kind of urgency that permeates everything we do. I didn’t resolve to discover God in the time I spent at Castlegregory. Rather, the last words written are a cry, “Where is bhava?” I can almost hear the echo in waves crashing against the rocky shore as I read it again now.
Krsna, Krsna, Krsna, I’m writing poems—Songs of a Hare Krsna Man. Keep them coming. Kerouac wrote Ginsberg, “You guys call yourselves poets, write little short lines. I’m a poet but I write lines, paragraphs and pages, many pages long.” Poets blow off steam and contact emotions.
A gift-wrapped package of potatoes and apples arrived here. What more do I want? I’m contemplating my birthday. Let there be a six-foot high birthday cake like the one Clinton had, and Whoopi Goldberg narrating jokes at the karmis’ expense, poking fun at those who don’t love me.
One reason I don’t let loose in free-writing is that it may seem irresponsible. I want to make a better record. I don’t know. Cee-ripes.
This time keep the hammers felling their blows. “Keep the presses rolling—”our family business”—slogan of “The Friends of GNP.” Yeah, I permit their slick, somewhat organized, professional approach. Fill up the pen with a hundred thousand dollars so we can print freely. Cough up dough. We need your money. It will be sent to him on his birthday wherever he is in the world. The pennies trickle into the central fund headquarters.
pp. 64-67
The morning program is a power-packed succession of the most beneficial devotional practices. By taking part attentively in mangala-arati kirtana, tulasi-arati, japa, guru-puja, Deity worship, and Srimad-Bhagavatam class, a devotee is sure to stimulate his original, ecstatic love of God, which has long been covered by maya. All the senses, the mind, and the intelligence are cleansed of material conceptions, and one comes to see Krsna face to face—with the eyes, with the heart, and with the intellect. One must attend the program not only physically but mentally. A devotee must make the mind his friend and bring it under the control of the intelligence by careful chanting, hearing, and remembering. If a person drags himself through the program reluctantly and allows himself to remain sleepy (in the mode of ignorance), he will not be able to fully derive the strength and purification that is easily available if one is attentive.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura describes the feelings of krsna-prema which are obtainable by participation in even the simplest parts of the morning observances.
When I hear the sound of the mrdanga, in my heart I always desire to join in kirtana, and when I hear the bona fide songs describing Lord Caitanya’s pastimes, my heart dances in ecstasy . . . When I take caranamrta of the Deity I see the holy Ganges water that comes from the feet of Lord Visnu, and my bliss knows no bounds. By seeing the tulasi tree my heart feels joy, and Lord Madhava is also satisfied.—Suddha-bhakata by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura
Why should a temple leader have to nag and coerce reluctant persons to take part in such blissful morning practices? He shouldn’t. Therefore, unless a person rises early and attends the morning program, he shouldn’t live in a temple. In writing to one temple president, Srila Prabhupada asserted that attendance at mangala-arati and chanting of sixteen rounds were the most important points of the Krsna conscious process. “But make it so that people may not think it too repressive so they will not go away, impressive but not repressive, that is the system.” (Letter, February 13, 1972 to Hayagriva dasa)
The morning program will be impressive if the temple leaders themselves are strictly participating and are also feeling some of the happy mood of Bhaktivinoda Thakura, then they can better inspire the others to follow. But if despite good example and precept, someone doesn’t care to participate in the most required morning practices, then that person is unfit to live in the temple. In an anxiety to recruit new, full-time members, the temple authorities should not bring in persons who are not advanced enough to voluntarily attend the morning program.
Of course we work very very hard just to get someone to come to the platform of a devotee of Krsna, so we shall not be too much hasty to drive anyone out. Therefore we may forgive once, twice, but more than that we must take other steps. So if any new candidate for devotee comes forward you may test him very thoroughly to understand from him if he is ready to accept our strict standard of temple living. Let him understand that it is not an arbitrary or whimsical decision on our parts to become like military camp, rather we are strictly adhering to our devotional principles only so that we may make advancement in Krsna consciousness and be protected from the attack of maya consciousness.—Letter, December 31, 1972 to Dhananjaya dasa
pp. 32-34
Nimai didn’t think he was ready yet for a systematic study of Prabhupada’s books, so he turned to sections that particularly interested him. He wanted to understand more the proper attitude that he should have toward Chota and toward Gurudeva. He also hoped that by reading he could get inspiration from Krsna and Prabhupada as to what he should do, now that he had no regular service. Maybe this could be his service, living in Vrndavana and reading and chanting. But then, what about preaching? When he was with Chota, Nimai had been more involved in preaching than he had ever been in his life. That was probably another important reason, Nimai thought, why he felt so bereft. How could he ever expect to reach the peak of preaching as he had when instructing the mice, or when guiding them in their preaching? As hints of topics came to his mind, Nimai tried to find them in the indexes and from whatever he could remember of his reading of the Bhagavatam and Caitanya-caritamrta.
He remembered a purport that he wanted to read about preaching and seclusion. It was after a verse where Lord Caitanya had said that He wanted to stay in a very solitary room at Jagannatha Puri:
At the present moment we see that some of the members of the International Society for Krsna Consciousness are tending to leave their preaching activities in order to sit in a solitary place. This is not a very good sign. It is a fact that Śrila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Ṭhakura has condemned this process for neophytes. He has even stated in a song, pratiṣṭhara tare, nirjanera ghare, tava hari-nama kevala kaitava: “Sitting in a solitary place intending to chant the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra is considered a cheating process.” This practice is not possible for neophytes at all. The neophyte devotee must act and work very laboriously under the direction of the spiritual master, and he must thus preach the cult of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Only after maturing in devotion can he sit down in a solitary place to chant the Hare Kṛṣṇa maha-mantra as Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu Himself did. —Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila 11.176, purport
When Nimai read this purport, he wanted to get up at once and show it to Puja dasa who was also reading, sitting outside. But then Nimai thought that, of course, Puja would have his own interpretation. Maybe it was better to read on his own and keep some things to himself. At least Nimai was sure what Prabhupada was saying: a devotee shouldn’t give up preaching.
Nimai then tried to think if there were any sections he could remember which would give him some encouragement about his relationship with Chota. It was hard to think of more sections about human devotees with animals because there weren’t so many of them. But if he just thought of Chota as a devotee, maybe there were some encouraging things about friendships. . . . Of course there was an important verse and purport in the Upadesamrta about the six loving exchanges among devotees. But Nimai didn’t have that book with him. The entire Caitanya-caritamrta was about friendships between devotees and Lord Caitanya and friendships among Lord Caitanya’s devotees. Could his friendship with Chota qualify as that?
pp. 59-69
“You will live to chant God’s names another
day,” said a voice. Whose?
The imaginary one who speaks in plays.
He said, “You will chant better
tomorrow.”
Who are you? Are you the Spirit?
He said something else:
“You are a novice
on probation.”
I had heard that somewhere, those words
from Prabhupada’s purport.
Does that make him less than spirit?
He added, “You will rise at midnight, light a
lamp, do your usual thing.”
I thought to ask how long I would live. Will I continue
to write? Am I pleasing guru?
Is it permissible for me to know?
Then the voice started talking about an ex-Hare Krsna
guru and some other stuff. I
turned off the sound.
He persisted. I went outside and caught the strong breeze on my face.
I’m not young anymore.
How the mind goes back.
I’m entering the Allston storefront, 1967,
chanting “Hare Krsna! Haribol!”
Film speeds: married,
unmarried (both Swami’s doing). He could
do and undo our lives like that. We were meant
to serve his movement. I’m feeling that same fear
of going to Boston, of being there,
but I’ll never desert
my duty.
Leaves all green—June,
I pray not to die so
unresolved. I don’t want to be
famous but with dirt
in the heart. I want to come clean by chanting.
Film speeds:
on GBC, off GBC,
doing the Charlie Chaplin step
up the Mayapur stairs typing 600 words a minute,
books piled around me like snow in drifts.
Endless rounds, endless minor deviations,
endless embarrassment.
I don’t want to see all that. Show me the parts
where I’m with him again.
Or show me a film of the soul with his God.
Release me from the burden of
exhaustion and pretended perfection and . . .
Oh, stop this. Will you finally
admit that you want to
do your thing without being degraded?
Hare Krsna mantra, lead kindly light.
It’s never enough to grasp
what Czeslaw Milosz does returning to the city
of his youth and feeling inside him the men and
women who were there with him and now gone.
He wrote these beautiful lines:
“If we ever accede to enlightenment,
he thought, it is in one compassionate moment
when what separated them from me vanishes
and a shower of drops from a bunch of lilacs
pours on my face, and hers, and his, at the same time.”
It’s not enough. They die—
even the trees, the things we love and feel would
be pure if no one else looked at them.
It doesn’t help to hear him except in a temporary way
when it reminds me that there is an eternal to be gained and if we fail,
then what use in recapturing
a June day from youth and
to weep again in a meadow?
Better to hear from sadhus
and to achieve the mercy of Krsna
who appears in His names. That’s what I
say this fine morning in
Geaglum, in June, in the rain,
after having placed a
branch of white blossoms on
the altar.
I’m alone in a house with friends
not far away. If something really went wrong I
could plug in the phone and call for help.
A young man would get up from
his bunk and run down to the boat,
row across—maybe too late.
What happened?
Strangled by a bad dream or
a non-Vaisnava poem.
Van Gogh said
he had a fire in his heart but no one
wanted to warm themselves by it, but God
would make things come out all right.
Sun going down over this strip of
mainland. I rest my gross body while subtle
body climbs mountains and
falls back and I pray for the day
when I will be more interested in
serving Him than in serving my senses.
My poems are yours if you want them.
That bird sang like a parrot or a human
in the gnarled tree as I walked
past houses where no one lives.
My poems are influenced by everything—birds and
sastra recently read—
the truth of Krsna, sages,
Vedanta darsana
but not by pasandis.
My poems are influenced by theory—the protection
of cows I never milk,
the land I don’t cultivate. My actual
experience is with ink and mind and this one body and friends and murti of
Prabhupada and loving disciples
and trying to write free from pretense.
On the cover of Acarya, Sesa Prabhu chose
the photo that Guru dasa took, ’67 in S.F.
Prabhupada is heavy, guru,
bead bag in hand,
Bhagavatams stacked,
the first formal photo of our spiritual master.
His Godbrothers
always found fault with him,
even in his photo.
I am a worshiping disciple,
and I serve as I did then.
Allen Ginsberg told Prabhupada,
“I am slowly gaining all these qualities
except for sanity.”
Prabhupada: “That’s all right,
you can be crazy for Krsna.”
pp. 65-68
Hare Krsna—”Hare” and “Krsna” are two words that go together and open the mantra and the round. If we could only say them sincerely and surrender, we’d accomplish our whole purpose. We don’t have to be like Markandeya Rishi and live to see the annihilation. We don’t have to suffer through all the Kali-yugas and float on the waves of partial devastations until we finally reach the goal of Lord Gauranga’s safe lotus feet. But we don’t seem to be so intelligent, at least not intelligent enough to immediately finish our business and get out. Therefore, for the time being we dream stories and live lives. And we always chant Hare Krsna no matter where we are. That will save us from disaster. Hiranyakasipu said, “Since I am eternal and time is eternal, I will go on practicing austerities life after life until I attain my goal.” His goal was foolish—he wanted Lord Brahma’s post—but his determination was admirable. We chant to attain pure love of Krsna, pure devotional service. Remember the tiny bird who tried to empty the ocean by taking drops of water in her beak? When Garuda was impressed with her determination and agreed to take up her cause, she was successful.
O holy names, please forgive us. Please hear our plea. We are, for now, chanting sporadically in a wilderness of names and places and experiences. Many things still interest us (and bewilder us) instead of the One Supreme Interest. Please hear our call and honor our request.
I know, I don’t have to instruct the holy name. He knows what He is doing. I just need to be patient.
Krsna Krsna—There are two life moments I wanted to save from yesterday, but they’re already getting old and stale. One had to do with a man in the arrivals lounge at Heathrow airport. We were sitting quietly, resting between flights. This man was oblivious to his fellow passengers, it seemed, because he made a phone call right from his easy chair. It was 6 A.M. and it was obvious that he woke up a business friend. They talked strategy, he with a civilized British accent. I never looked at his face.
The other incident had to do with the carrots Madhu bought at an open market. They were stubby, locally grown carrots with bits of earth still clinging to them and thick green leaves. They were real carrots, not like the ones you see in the supermarket.
I want to honor these two “stories.” Do I have to apologize that that’s all there is to them—an unknown British businessman and some carrots? When I experienced them, they felt important.
The words “Krsna Krsna” signify Radharani crying for Krsna in separation. “Hare Krsna” signify Radha and Krsna together. “Krsna Krsna,” Radha calling for Krsna. “Hare Rama” is Radha and Krsna together; “Hare Hare,” Krsna alone, calling for Radha. I think this interpretation of the maha-mantra comes from Jiva Gosvami. I can’t think of it when I chant. It seems I never think of any of the dynamics of the Hare Krsna mantra, nor do I feel any of it when I chant. But I believe that the Hare Krsna mantra is cintamani and can yield whatever my heart desires. I hope He will give even what my poor heart does not yet desire, and I pray to Him to do so.
Hare Hare—Here we are. Did I abandon reading the nectar? I remembered that I first have to deserve before I desire. So here I am, living with interruptions, but mostly quiet.
Hare Krsna Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. Just now I read the verse where Lord Visnu speaks to Durvasa Muni and tells him, “Saints are My heart. Because they are always thinking of Me, I am also in their hearts.” If we offend Krsna’s pure devotee, the Lord feels pain in His heart. Offenses to Vaisnavas are serious.
pp. 27-29
Excessive leniency will produce many faults, while strict-ness will build good character. Therefore, be strict, not lenient, with the son or disciple.
The dictionary defines the word “strict” as follows:
“Characterized by or acting in close conformity with requirements or principles; stringent or exacting in or in enforcing rules, requirements, obligations, etc.; stern, severe, strict laws; closely or rigorously enforced or maintained.”
Those of us who experienced Prabhupada’s personal treatment may question whether Prabhupada followed this definition to the fullest. Certainly, Prabhupada was always encouraging us. He once told us that Bhaktivinoda Thakura was “eighty percent lenient.” In order for Krsna consciousness to be spread to the Western world, especially in the beginning, Prabhupada also had to be lenient. Yet he approved of Canakya’s statement and sometimes quoted it. “Don’t be angry, but it is the business of the teacher and the father simply to find out your mistakes, not to find out your good things. . . . If you simply pat, then there will be so many faults. . . . And if you chastise, oh, they will be very much qualified.”‘
Prabhupada told us the story about the thief and murderer who was about to be killed by the government for his crimes. As one of his last requests, he asked to see his mother. As his mother came close, he leaned over and bit her ear. The criminal exclaimed, “Mother, in my childhood when I used to steal, you indulged me and did not punish me. Because of this leniency, I have come to this awful end.”
Devotees prefer to be reprimanded by their gurus than praised. Srila Prabhupada was fond of recalling the time when he was reprimanded by his spiritual master. “So far we are concerned, when our spiritual master used to chastise, we took it as a blessing.” Srila Prabhupada tells us how he was fond of hearing his spiritual master speak. Once, while Bhakti-siddhanta Sarasvati Thakura was lecturing, a retired doctor leaned over to say something to our Prabhupada. Prabhupada then turned to this retired doctor, but Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Maharaja saw them and became angry. Prabhupada says,
“He saw that my attention was drawn by him. He chastised me like anything . . . First he chastised the doctor, `Do you think that because you pay sixty rupees a month you have purchased us?’ A very strong word he used. Then he turned and said to me, ‘Do you think that I am speaking for others? You have learned everything? You are diverting your attention. Why don’t you come up here and speak instead of me?”‘ This was not a chance occasion, but Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati regularly reprimanded his disciples. “A little discrepancy he would chastise like anything. But we liked it very much.”
Other devotees also liked to be reprimanded or chastised. Advaita Acarya saw chastisement from Lord Caitanya as nectar, and He tried in one way or another to make the Lord angry enough to chastise Him. When Sanatana Gosvami heard Lord Caitanya reprimand Jagadananda Pandita, he said, “Sir, You are making Jagadananda drink the nectar of affectionate relationships, whereas by offering me honorable prayers, You are making me drink the bitter juice of nimba and nisinda. (Cc. Antya 4.163) When Lord Caitanya became very hard, however, and banished someone from His association, no one wanted to experience that chastisement.
Similarly, we should accept the guru’s reprimand as mercy, and we should look for that attention from him. If we see that our spiritual master is not willing to be strict with us, then we should look within ourselves and determine whether we have given him the power over us that he needs to discipline us. The spiritual master has to be careful about applying stricture on an unsurrendered disciple, because if the disciple disobeys, it will be worse than if he was not given any instruction at all.
Srila Prabhupada was particularly attentive to ISKCON’s development in India, and he personally supervised many of the financial and managerial details. It was inevitable, therefore, that he would see his disciples’ faults in these areas and then reprimand them. When one of the managers became depressed by Prabhupada’s criticisms, Prabhupada explained his teaching principle in a letter:
“I know you are working hard and sincerely. I have no business to criticize you, but as head of the institution or your spiritual master, it is my duty to find out your faults. Even Caitanya Mahaprabhu presented Himself as faulty before His spiritual master. To remain faulty before the spiritual master is a good qualification so he is subjected to rectification. But if one thinks he is all perfect then there is no scope for rectification. Don’t be sorry when I find fault. That is my primary duty. Canakya Pandita says one must find fault with disciples and sons, it is good for them.”
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.