I would like to welcome everyone to this Vyasa-puja gathering. It is a special time for us to recommit ourselves to our spiritual master and disciple relationship in parampara. We express our love by service to our spiritual master, and he in turn gives us absolute knowledge about Krsna and Srila Prabhupada.
Due to my health condition, we are limiting the program to a short reading of excerpts from my new books. To save energy, we will not have homages, but they will be collected, or you can send them in. I will read them as strength allows. I encourage everyone to make this effort. It is a very important part of our tradition.
My talk will be short but to the point. I want to encourage my disciples to work in a single-minded way to produce and distribute my books. The worldwide congregation is working to produce and distribute Srila Prabhupada’s books. I am asking my disciples in a small way to do the same, but not at the expense of selling Prabhupada’s books. Writing is my service to Prabhupada, he asked me to do it. He also told me to “boil the milk”—write for devotees. I particularly keep in mind my disciples. I did this for you. Now please read them, there is something for everyone. We have one excellent team of devotees charged with the task of putting all my books back into print. At that present rate, that will take over six years. So we need to put together another team. Krsna-bhajana, our chief editor and manager of the GN Press, has put together a list of services to accomplish this feat. Copies of this list are being passed out here, and we will “advertise” further. I also want you to share them with others. Please distribute them whenever and however you can, but not at the expense of Prabhupada’s books.
We’re all getting older, so this is an urgent mission. Jayadvaita Swami has even asked his disciples to help us. They have come up with very good techniques to do this. So if they are helping, why not you? Your Godsisters, Damodara Rati and Syama Gopa Rupa are providing good examples of what can be done, in a small way, by anyone. Taking advantage of any opportunity the Sunday feast, seminars, kirtana festivals, home programs, etc.—any gathering of devotees or friends—they set up their little table and enthusiastically sell some books. Let us get together and please follow their example. Their experience is that if the books are available, they sell on their own merit, and therefore no one has to be a “super-salesman” to do this service.
Another exciting example is your Godbrother Nitai in India.
He has chosen fifty “best-sellers” for the India and world markets. Besides producing them, he has put together a wonderful Internet catalogue to aid in retail and wholesale distribution. Nitai sets up a display at the Mayapur and Vrndavana festivals to not only sell to individuals but also to connect with temple stores, regional buyers, etc. Based on your relationships with various devotees, you can connect him to our wholesale branch also. Our marketing can be unlimited, but it takes an individual commitment by you to make it work. Please do it.
“So, everyone is asking, ‘How did Satsvarupa Maharaja’s health hold up during the Vyasa-puja party?’ The answer is, ‘Very good!’ He limited his main exchange with the group to a reading of his fifteen-minute talk. He skipped the homages and had four devotees read from the new books for fifteen minutes more to preserve his energy. He will read the homages over the next few weeks, both the ones handed in and those that come in the mail. He also received a large, first-class Vyasa-puja book put together by the SDG Tributes team. During the time set aside for browsing the book table, he almost bailed out from the crowd that closed in to give presents and show off their children. Fortunately, a half-circle of strong men formed around him to give airspace, and he could then stay for guru-puja and puspanjali. Maharaja then went back to the asrama for lunch and rest, but ended up writing, reading offerings, and answering mail for the remainder of the day. Fortunately there was no major crash for the rest of the week, but exhaustion did set in.”
Hare Krsna,
Baladeva
One good sign: When I chant japa, I am reluctant to let go of the beads when I am finished with my rounds. The reluctance comes from my hand. The hand itself feels like I am tearing away a valuable, lovable object.
******
For persons who are not inclined to clear the dust from their hearts and who want to keep things as they are, it is not possible to derive the transcendental result of chanting the Hare Krsna mantra…. As soon as one develops his spontaneous service attitude [under the guidance of the spiritual master], he can immediately understand the transcendental nature of the holy names of the maha-mantra.
—NOD, pp. 107-8
******
In the compilation Namamrta, there is a heading: “One Develops a Taste for Chanting By Chanting.” The statement from Srila Prabhupada’s purports says that chanting is nectarean; the more you chant, the less you tire of it. The more you chant, the more attached you become to chanting. I agree, but I am unhappy that the statement doesn’t apply to me yet. A statement more in line with my experience is this one: “Attacked by jaundice, the tongue of a diseased person cannot palatably relish sugar candy. . . . Avidya (ignorance) similarly perverts the ability to relish the transcendentally palatable name . . . ” (Nectar of Instruction, text 7, purport). Even this “jaundice” statement, with its assurance that “if he chants, he will develop a taste for chanting” is something that hasn’t happened to me. Another verse: “Unfortunate as I am, I commit offenses and therefore cannot taste the holy names.” So I can’t complain that the scriptures are too optimistic or lack detail. They pin me down. Another one states that if your chanting is infested with offenses, you can go on chanting for hundreds of births, but you will never attain krsna-prema. It has all been spelled out.
******
Since I tend to complain and claim an injustice is being perpetrated on me, I also say, “There is no guide to take me through the required changes. No one has spelled it out, such as who I may have offended (sadhu-ninda), or exactly how I can go about controlling my mind against inattention (pramada).”
Response: “Be serious. Do the needful to improve your chanting. And you do have friends and guides, so appeal to them.”
******
I wanted to take advantage of these weeks to improve japa, but I may lack the heart or “guts” to do what is required. Besides, it’s so subtle. I can’t exactly grasp what it is exactly that I need to do. I am up at 1:00 A.M. helplessly rattling the beloved names, but there is no prayer of the heart, not even a prayer of the mind. What to speak of mixing japa with Krsna’s pastimes.
******
When chanting the Hare Krsna maha-mantra, in the beginning one may commit many offenses, which are called namabhasa and namaparadha. In this stage there is no possibility of achieving perfect love of Krsna by chanting the Hare Krsria maha-mantra. Therefore one must chant the Hare Krishna maha-mantra according to the principles of the above verse, trnad api sunicena taror iva sahisnuna.
******
Chanting is very simple, but one must practice it seriously. Therefore the author of Caitanya-caritamrta, Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami advises everyone to keep this verse always strung about his neck. —Cc., Adi 17.32, purport
******
I pray to the dry leaves and trees. I mean to say, I pray to God, in the presence of the leaves and trees, “Please let us all mentally, verbally, worship hari-nama. Make it a trend for me, an interest—not a fad—but let me understand that it is the gateway to the attainment of pure devotional service. Improving my chanting is one of the most crucial ways to serve Srila Prabhupada, who says that of all the rules and regulations, chanting sixteen rounds is essential. Prabhupada did not mean mechanical rounds. He meant that we should chant with priti, with love.”
******
Situations of dire distress drive us to feel helpless, but we don’t realize that we are always in distress. We are so unaware. Here I am in a warm house in the middle of winter in the powerful U.S.A. It is quiet here and I have protective hosts. I have a measure of spiritual favor from guru and Krsna, and I accept the honor disciples and others offer me. Yet I don’t know that my life is slipping away and I still don’t fully love Krsna. I feel no shame and little regret over this. Is this not a helpless situation?
pp. 42-45
Praghosa: I went out one day to the airport, and I walked up to one black man and said, “Excuse me, sir.” And bam! He punched me right in the face and knocked me down. At that moment so many thoughts went through my mind. I could just hear Tripurari’s words ringing in my ears from the class that morning, “We must be determined….” So I just said to myself, “Well, I’ll just stand right back up and keep trying.” I stood up, and I got the inspiration to just turn around and try to hand the next person one of Prabhupada’s books.
Kesava Bharati: I am very outgoing and gregarious, so I don’t have any problem stopping people or anything like that. But a half an hour and then an hour went by, and Tripurari had distributed five and then ten books. But I couldn’t get anybody to stop and shake my hand. It was incredible! But I knew it was because I was too proud. Another hour went by, and still no one would stop and shake my hand. I was bewildered, because I wanted to pass out Prabhupada’s books. Finally I just sat down out of frustration. I was nearly crying.
Tripurari came up and preached to me. He told me I should pray to Lord Caitanya and Nityananda in times like this and not to worry about it, that this happens. So I got it together, and then about the next ten to fifteen people in a row came after that and talked with me. So when we discussed it afterwards, we could understand that we were just instruments in Lord Caitanya’s hands. This is how we developed the sankirtana philosophy. Through the book distribution we came to realize who Prabhupada was and to appreciate him more.
Lavanga-latika: All day I would stand at the top of the stairs and thousands and thousands of people would come by. And we would distribute hundreds and hundreds of books. We used to take lines from Prabhupada’s books. Tripurari used to talk about the swans’ taking milk from water. So we used to use that a lot in approaching someone. We’d say how these great sages used to know how to separate milk from water, the essence. He also said the pictures were windows to the spiritual world. We’d say, “This book is like the brilliant sun that will drive away the darkness of ignorance in this age of Kali.”
I found the best way to distribute the books was to use Prabhupada’s own words. Prabhupada said if we read one line to someone, he can make one hundred times spiritual advancement. One time a devotee complained to Prabhupada that people were throwing some of the books away. But then we could understand that Prabhupada wanted the books distributed on a large scale. Not that you kept the book for a special person you thought might be intelligent enough to read it. Because Prabhupada said that if they read only one line they would be very much affected. So we could understand that Prabhupada wanted mass distribution, not that we just keep them for the special, right person.
Sura dasa: Vaisesika was selling books in the airport with me. He would walk up to people and say, “Well, how are you doing, sir? All glories to the Sri Krsna sankirtana movement, the prime benediction for humanity at large which cleanses the heart.” He was repeating the “Siksastaka” prayers of Lord Caitanya right out of the book, and yet he was selling books. The books had pictures of Krsna and devotional scenes on the cover, and sometimes some devotees couldn’t understand how people could relate to these books. But Prabhupada wanted them distributed. And he was saying that we should preach on the merit of the book. When a devotee asked Prabhupada what we should say to distribute the books, Prabhupada replied krsne sva-dhamopagate, which is the verse that the Srimad-Bhagavatam is as brilliant as the sun and it has arisen just to give people religion in this age of darkness. So we were also repeating that verse and distributing books on faith.
We would go out and see the people actually becoming struck by Krsna consciousness. They would see that the devotees were very sincere and serious, and they would become impressed. Daily on sankirtana we would see people appreciating Prabhupada’s books. There was also harassment, but Prabhupada had talked about it, that there was always difficulty. So everything was there from Prabhupada to confirm whatever realizations we had. Srila Prabhupada said a book salesman had to go sometimes and have difficulty because he’ll be sometimes accepted and sometimes rejected. But he tolerates.
In the airport we met professors, lawyers, all kinds of people who would stop and talk. They would challenge, and we would constantly have to defend Prabhupada’s books and his movement and speak up on behalf of Prabhupada, more so than when we were just kids out on the lots talking to women and begging fifty cents for a pack of incense. We were presenting Prabhupada’s books to the scholars, coming into contact with Mayavadis, scientists, businessmen, people who were very sharp, in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, and San Diego. People there were very sharp and hard. And just by having to spiritually combat them and defend the movement we became more mature in our understanding of Prabhupada’s books and how to present them in such a way that we could convince people even who didn’t want to be convinced. We had to study Prabhupada’s books.
pp. 318-20
Once there was a little man named Duncan who lived in Dublin. He had trouble putting on his coat, he was so drunk. Anyway, he went out into the street and he was on the dole, which for you Americans, means on welfare. He spent his dole money on his rent and the rest in the pub. I’m not going to tell you too much more about him, but one day he was heading down the street and by the post office when a book distributor, a friendly fellow, came forward to meet him.
Suddenly, Duncan collapsed with what appeared to be a heart attack. A crowd gathered and the book distributor told everyone what had happened. Somebody even made a quip that maybe Duncan’s collapse was the book distributor’s fault. Finally, a policeman arrived on the scene and took charge. Duncan was not unconscious. He said he had a pain in his heart. Then someone called an ambulance. While they were waiting for it to arrive, the policeman decided to take Duncan to the hospital in his car.
At the hospital, the doctor diagnosed appendicitis and decided they should operate immediately. Another doctor, seeing Duncan in a flushed condition, realized he was drunk and that he would have t0 sober up before they could operate.
Duncan was left alone in his hospital bed. In his half-conscious state, he fantasized himself drinking in the tavern with angels. As he “walked out of the tavern,” he found himself wondering who the angels were. Were they his guardian angels? Or maybe they had come to punish him for all his sins. He had a guilt complex.
Then he saw himself walking past the book distributor and the book distributor offering him a book. He also relived the heart attack, but in his fantasy, he died. Horrible creatures pulled his soul to hell. More horrible creatures came. They grabbed him from either side and forced his mouth open, while a third creature forced burning liquid down his throat.
Suddenly, an orderly came into his room and woke him from his dream. He had been screaming in his sleep. Duncan told him that he had had a nightmare in which he had gone to hell.
The orderlies and doctors weren’t metaphysically minded. They assumed Duncan was drunk or crazy and decided to leave him alone. In fact, the doctor came by, looked him over, and said, “Duncan, you look all right to me. I think you should stop drinking so much, especially during the day. It could ruin you and send you to an early grave.”
Duncan was still caught up in the meaning of his dream, so he took the doctor’s advice seriously. “Thank you, doctor. I think the same myself.” He dressed himself and left the hospital, leaving the bill to the Republic of Ireland. He felt like a new man, that he had see death and what comes after and was sobered.
But there was some conflict in his mind. His dream showed him that there was a connection between his drinking and hell, but his church had never taught him of that connection. He decided to ask a priest about it and to tell him about his dream. The priest said, “My man, according to the Bible and according to the Church, drinking is not a sin, but gluttony. There is sin in excess. You should drink in moderation.”
“That’s what I thought,” said Duncan. “That’s what I thought.”
He said his “Our Fathers” and “Hail Marys” as the priest requested and then went to the pub. He ordered a drink to calm himself. Duncan wasn’t usually a dreamy person and wasn’t given to spiritual visions This was all quite new to him, and he couldn’t shake the impression, of the last few days.
After a few drinks, he realized he didn’t know what moderation meant. Everyone in the pub had a different definition. One priest, who happened to be having a drink in the pub that day, said that moderation meant whatever a man could hold without losing his equilibrium. Otherwise, drink was a Christian tradition. Wine was even part of the Holy Mass.
Duncan didn’t feel so bad after that. As he left the pub, he assured himself that he had been moderate that day because he still had his equilibrium. Then he saw the book distributor again, right in front of the post office. He immediately crossed the street to avoid him.
That’s the end of chapter one.
Now for chapter two.
That night, Duncan had the same dream that he had had in the hospital.
He recognized the creatures as messengers of death. He screamed and woke up in a sweat with the landlady knocking on his door.
“I’m all right, it’s nothing. Just a bad dream,” he called out to her. But he wasn’t all right. He had to save his soul, and that made him wonder whether the book distributor he had seen on the street at the moment of his collapse might have something to do with all this.
Now as far as Duncan knew, this fellow selling the books was a Hare Krsna lad. Duncan didn’t know much about the Hare Krsnas, except that they followed some kind of Eastern religion. Duncan was not a very educated fellow. He had seen kirtanas on Saturdays when the devotees came into town and played their drums and cymbals. He thought they were nice, but he had never looked into it further than that.
Finally, on Thursday, Duncan got up his courage to go out and meet the book distributor. But he wasn’t there. Then he remembered that there was a Hare Krsna store on Dame Street—a store and a temple.
He found the place and went in. A young woman was selling in – cense and other imported items in the front of the store. He could hear a ldrtana. going on in the back. He didn’t want to go back there. After all, he was a Catholic. He didn’t want religion. He just wanted to ask some questions. And he especially wanted to talk to that man.
“Oh, that’s Prabhupada dasa. He’s out there every Saturday.”
“I’ll have to wait a few more days.” Duncan looked over at the book rack. There he saw a book called Second Chance. The cover was the scene from his dream. It was a picture of an old man lying in bed, obviously on the verge of death. Two horrible-looking creatures were ripping his soul out of his body. But in this picture, there were also two beautiful men who looked like they came from another world.
They had four arms. They seemed to be protecting the old man’s soul from the horrible creatures. Duncan bought the book . . . (To Be Continued)
pp. 26-28
It’s actually 11:20 P.M. on June 2nd, but I’ll count it as a new day. I lay awake thinking about what to write. Seems I want to allow (discipline) myself to do more writing and without particular structure. I know this has its limits, but it’s the most direct way to increase writing output and put trust in the process. That is, just schedule yourself more periods for it and “go” without waiting for the right ideas. It’s classic writing practice. Let’s see if I can still do it. I like to produce something that can be published in a big block as a whole work, but … I don’t at present have something like that which simultaneously allows for the hand to keep writing.
Something about the Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam makes me not able to turn to it as a full-time work. It’s methodical how I go from verse to verse, take up the questions and field them, and then do the free-write, which is a performance meant to improvise on those themes. I’ll be doing it again, but it’s not the rawest writing.
Perhaps Basic Sketch Book, but even there, without emphasis on graphic art that has to spot the pages.
You are aware that much writing could be a vain pursuit, egotistical. The way to check that is to read Srila Prabhupada’s books, and that’s a way to combine writing and reading. You could (1) read for a while without interruption and later write extended free-writes without interruption, or (2) keep a freer schedule without even noticing so closely how much you read and how much you write, but always be doing both as Srila Prabhupada said he did in the Bowery loft—he wished he had more than twenty-four hours per day to do it without fatigue, “something reading or writing, something reading or writing.”
Yeah, I’d like to try that. Need a better lamp in here. Three days in Wicklow, and then move on. As for calling the writing something, I don’t know why that’s so important. Forgetting the Audience was a good one. I guess the title helps your imagination and gives you a sense of a general place and direction on the map. Just start out in June in Ireland. It’s a “June bug.” “June bug” means you fall in love in June. The “June bug” by which one decides to get married. There are so many marriages in June. Is that because it’s a “June bug?” Are you bitten?
Wish you’d get bitten by a bug to read Cc, chant japa with devotion, and write of it? Hare Krsna.
It’s the same thing.
A high electric whining sound comes on and off, mostly on. It could be the sound of Nature, some bird or bugs out there, but it sounds like electricity through an old telephone line.
I spoke foolishly of myself yesterday to the devotees. A clown show. Now leave me alone. When you come into my room, I’ll throw the crisps bag under the desk so you don’t see it. Pause here and see if I can interest myself in Bhagavad-gita, even though the light isn’t so great. I argued against that ex-disciple who said Krsna consciousness is sectarian. I said the Bhagavad-gita teaches what will nourish any spiritualist. You cannot complete your spiritual life just by eclectic talking and feeling and listening to your heart. I said that’s like trying to reinvent the wheel—why waste time? Consult wisdom teachers in books. Bhagavad-gita is one. I should preach this to myself. And neither will I turn to the second chapter to read that the soul is eternal. I think I’m looking at the ninth chapter nowadays. I want to hear from and about Lord Krsna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead and the object of unalloyed devotion and surrender.
The Ninth Chapter of Bhagavad-gita is most confidential. I’m reading for myself. I’ll become a better lecturer and devotee. Others may also do this. Some may be better at it than me, but I have to do it for myself. Now, I could say I have to do it because I have so many disciples. They create a pressure of responsibility on me. That’s true. The GBC creates another pressure. An obligation to the spiritual master is heavy, so for these reasons, I need to keep fresh interest in topics of Krsna. But I’m saying that will all come naturally. Don’t read primarily out of pressure. Read out of some natural urge of the self. Take it in that way, and read it in that way.
As long as I can function in this way, I will do so, use eyesight and brain to read Krsna’s sacred words and Prabhupada’s explanations. I won’t always have it.
June bug. Bug it, don’t bug me. Go on reading. He’s got the bug.
One version of a June bug who has sucked
a lot of blood from someone
I prefer to think of the June bug who bites and rather than takes, gives you a magic charm such as poison-nectar, to last as long as possible and by which you go on reading and writing.
pp. 16-18
The man who would answer questions about chanting goes out and chants his own rounds. Using a stopwatch this morning, I noticed that the first round took a little over ten minutes. Too slow, but that’s not really a big problem. One of my Godbrothers takes ten minutes a round, and he has been chanting like that for over twenty years. He just accepts it. The main thing is to pay attention and to hear.
I heard my chanting and didn’t notice other sounds—birds, small chirpy sounds, and then always behind those noises, the sound of the running creek. In the distance, a dog was barking. The air was delicious, but I didn’t notice that much either. I didn’t gauge the breeze by the movement of branches—I just chanted japa.
It’s pleasant to walk in these hills on the tarmac road. Of course, the real blessing is that I have the whole thing to myself. It’s summer, so it gets light before 5 A.M. Nobody’s up to bother me.
Devi dasi asked a question about faith in the holy name. She started out by quoting Bhagavatam 6.2.19:
“If a person unaware of the effective potency of a certain medicine takes that medicine or is forced to take it, it will act even without his knowledge because its potency does not depend on the patient’s understanding. Similarly, even though one does not know the value of chanting the holy name of the Lord, if one chants knowingly or unknowingly, the chanting will be very effective.”
But after quoting this, she asked, “Since it’s hard to see the effect of chanting, how can we keep faith that the medicine (chanting) is actually working?”
The simplest answer is to say that she has given the evidence herself with this Bhagavatam verse. I can’t come up with anything better than that. Sastra is axiomatic. If the Bhagavatam says that the chanting is effective, then that’s good enough for us. What is the point in asking, “How can we have faith?”
Still, it’s good to think about faith and to try to feel it more. We have to learn to count on faith. If we do, we won’t be doubtful or depressed about our chanting. After all, it’s only the skeptic or the atheist who thinks there has to be an immediately perceivable cause and effect. Even he (if he wants to look) will see that there is such evidence. We didn’t give up illicit sex and intoxication by accident. Those were deep habits and difficult to break. How did they suddenly dissolve? We chanted the Hare Krsna mantra, as given to us by Srila Prabhupada, and that gave us the strength immediately to clean our hearts.
Therefore, we live by the sastra, not just by our feelings, which may go up and down. When I admitted in a BTG article that I didn’t feel blissful when I chanted, one reader was outraged. He said I spoke like an anti-cult deprogrammer, debunking the effects of chanting. How dare I admit that I don’t taste the nectar of the holy name? In the article, I offered Vedic evidence about the power of the holy name, and I acknowledged that despite my lack of feeling, the sastra says that the chanting is working to deliver me from the bodily conception and bringing me into appreciation of Krsna. Faith is proved by experience, but it is tested before we have experience. Our faith is to follow the sastric injunctions. We don’t look for separate conclusions. Our own research or sense perception does not disprove sastra. Therefore, chanting is effective, whether we can sense it or not.
Devi dasi also asked me a personal question. She thinks I put a lot of effort into chanting—apparently because I make a big fuss about it. “So I would like to ask you, what inspires you?”
I don’t know if I can call it inspiration, but I have a drive which comes from sastra itself, that doesn’t let me forget the importance of chanting. I find chanting easy. I can’t do everything in Krsna consciousness. For example, I find it difficult to live in close association with other people, to manage their problems or their money. I also find it difficult to confront nondevotees in certain preaching situations. But chanting is easy. Even a child can chant.
What inspires me? Lord Caitanya’s mercy inspires me. He has given us such easy access to Him through the holy names. I don’t want to turn down the opportunity, even though I don’t get immediate good results. I am inspired to put at least some effort into my chanting and remind myself of its prime importance.
pp. 64-67
Events leading up to Lord Caitanya and Ramananda Raya talking together. They embrace, then they stop because the ritualistic brahmanas may not understand. Ramananda Raya says, “I must meet with You again.” They both want to meet. Intriguing that great persons have an inner identity. But even as Lord Caitanya and Ramananda Raya, they are both great devotees. (It’s good that Lord Caitanya’s friends let Him go on this tour of South India so that he could travel to meet Ramananda Raya. It is practically the most significant thing that happens on His tour). And what do they do together? They talk about Krsna, Krsna consciousness.
I’ll present this tonight at my meetings with devotees in J.G.’s basement. It’s fun performing this way. Accept it as my duty. Krsna allows me to do it.
As I write, I hear some unidentified sounds. I turn and stop writing, and then write again. Aware my time is limited. This piece can be interrupted.
Dreamt of an older woman who plunged to suicide death when the younger man she wanted seemed to be interested in a younger woman. Hare Krsna. Then I was in a movie theatre (the older woman’s suicide was a film)—and I was all alone in London and had to find my way to Bhaktivedanta Manor.
Last night I read to the group from Back to Godhead magazine the departure of Gour Govinda Swami.
Lots of pressures to reciprocate with the various devotees here. No time for individual meetings with them in which they could tell me what they didn’t tell me in letters—that they are now divorced, or whatever. Gaffes like that occur when we meet and I don’t know about their lives. Inform me, I tell them. So you are willing to be spiritual guide.
But can a spiritual master write a sketchbook like this where he tells his “mundane” dreams? Can he admit what he thinks?
As long as his actions when awake are within the bounds of etiquette. Hare Krsna. This week will end with my giving initiations. I’ve picked one name as Krsna Kirtana. The girl wanted a short name beginning with N.
Haribol. Lord Caitanya agrees to meet with Ramananda Raya. Right away he asks him what is the perfection of life. Ramananda Raya’s first answer is not acceptable. Again, intriguing that the conversation proceeds this way. Hare Krsna. It gets better and better. Varnasrama is not the perfection.
Read my book From Copper to Touchstone.
“What about the Tao de Ching?” A young man (with long, almost dreadlock yellow hair) No,” I said. “In my book My Search Through Books I called the Tao de Ching ‘a preface to God.’”
So we are approaching that. I mean I am playing the role of guru, with Indians bowing down to me etc. I don’t deserve being worshiped, but it’s by Prabhupada’s grace. “His Divine Grace Gour Govinda Swami, a Life Sketch.”
Maybe that’s why I dream I’m on my own with my private parts slipping out from my kaupinas, and I’ve got to get to the Manor and I ask a Salvation Army man, and he tells me to catch the train to Queens Park. The woman who plunged to her death was attractive and influential. Why didn’t they come to each other and consummate their love? Why instead this tragedy of misunderstanding? But their “love” was equally doomed even if they had consummated it.
The supreme abode of Krsna is cintamani-dhama. There are surabhi cows. Do you believe it? Yes, I don’t believe in the Christian heaven or the material hell. I mean, I know there is hell on this earth and maybe there is a heaven as the Christians believe. But I do want to go to Goloka. I can’t even say I want to go. Not badly enough to earn the right to go there. I wish I could be transformed. For now I am happy to make my “mad” collage and drawings and remember Swamiji at 26 Second Avenue. I am happy to take prasadam and to give lectures. I am certainly happy to publish books and hear from people that it had helped them come to Krsna consciousness. So if you work on this plain, maybe you can go to that spiritual plane. Swamiji is the way. This crazy, varied world of ISKCON.
When I spoke the other night in Philly to Srutakirti, he said he takes part on the Internet in something called the “Cordial Rtvik Debate,” you know. They’re not arguing over what theists are arguing over.
Yes, I said, and both sides agree that Prabhupada should be in the center.
Srutakirti said he thought Prabhupada was laughing at us.
I don’t know.
The supreme abode is the supreme abode. There are countless laksmis. Krsna blows His flute, venum kvanantam. That is the supreme abode. The less-then-devotees are very concerned about being swallowed up in the devastation of Brahma’s days and nights. But the devotees, just by chanting Hare Krsna, should go back to Krsna. Sounds too easy? Maybe. It’s not easy. I can tell you, I have been chanting thirty years and I haven’t attained the goal of prema or anything near it. I admit it. Laugh or scorn me. But I won’t budge from the practice. I don’t want to join another order. This is the best one. I will not admit defeat or helplessness. Keep on with it and this Basic Sketch Book is part of it, current now.
Am going down to the room to read from Vasudevamrta-prada lila of Lord Caitanya. Leper Vasudeva, kept him humble by chanting. All He asked in return was, “Preach, preach”.
Yeah, then I’ll answer some questions. It’s prepared. Give something good and solid for them.
You mean, like thick mango syrup?
I meant sastra, and of course I am an alive, human, so I will speak in that way. Play tape excerpt. Chant birdy-birdy, the night will close and it will be good to be honest. Pray for His mercy.
pp. 26-29
Can I use this parikrama to get at my problem of distance from Lord Caitanya? I read a verse by Jiva Gosvami, written as the introduction to Bhagavata-sandarbha. It appears in Cc. Adi 3.81: antaḥ kṛṣṇam bahir gauram: Lord Caitanya, in His inner identity, is Krsna Himself, but He appears in the bodily hue of Srimati Radharani. In the age of Kali He appears with His angas (associates) and performs sankirtana.
The verse and its meaning are right there, aren’t they? And I am way over here, down on the left. See me? How can I get closer? I can start “writing” toward the right, I suppose, using my intellect, but that’s the slow pace. Why have I fallen so far away? Was I closer at a simpler time of my life?
“Get beyond words,” someone says, but Gaudiya Vaisnavas are fond of words used to praise Sri Krsna. Kavis write in devotion. The gopis use words to express their burning love for Krsna. Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura uses words to explain the gopis’ songs. But Vaisnavas are not word-mongers or word-spinners. They speak to the point and fall silent. They use words to get to Krsna.
I wear the robes, but I need to divest myself of the inner officialdom in my words. Free-writing gives relief. Writing and listening, writing and listening to that silence within myself. I heard Srila Prabhupada say, “You don’t have to take a certificate from someone to know you are Krsna conscious.” We will know it ourselves when we feel freedom from lust and when we are attracted to Krsna.
So why the distance? Why can’t I see Lord Caitanya in the words of the Caitanya-caritamrta? I see only a figure of a large sannyasi, arms upraised, as He is depicted on logos, calendars, and in paintings. I see Him, but I don’t see Him.
I think I used to contact Him more. Is it because I am not reading in the same mood now? Am I suffering from the kind of hardening of the arteries that leads to rigor mortis of the soul? I have lost the habit of reading with joy, devotion, and interest, even though I still advise others to do it. There is no easy victory. Let’s go back to the parikrama.
It feels like two different people want to write this book. One wants to write about writing-as-bhajana, and the other wants to get down to the business of parikrama. That means there are two kinds of parikramas going on.
There are twelve forest in the Vraja area on the east-west sides of the Yamuna. “Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu visited the different forests, including Madhuvana, Talavana, Kumudavana and Bahulavana. Wherever He went, He took His bath with great ecstatic love.” (Cc. Madhya 17.193)
Madhuvana has existed since Satya-yuga. Dhruva Maharaja performed austerities there. Later (in Treta-yuga), a demon named Lavanasura established a kingdom there. Lord Rama’s brother, Satrugna, came and killed the demon. Krsna played in this forest in Dvapara-yuga.
“Madhu” means honey. Krsna and the cowherd boys picked and ate honey-like fruits here, and Krsna Himself is Madhupati, the Lord of sweetness. The gopis see Him in that way. In Kali-yuga, Lord Caitanya came to Madhuvana with the mood and complexion of Srimati Radharani and relished Krsna’s sweetness. Madhuvana has been full of sweetness throughout the millenniums.
The cowherd boys asked Krsna, “Please, let’s go taste the fruits in Talavana forest. Can’t You smell them from here?” But Dhenuka was guarding Talavana, and he wouldn’t allow anyone to pick the fruits. According to Bhaktivinoda Thakura, Dhenuka is the personification of selfish hoarding.
By contrast, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu wanted to distribute the fruits of krsna-prema. This is described in the ninth chapter of the Adi-lila. “I am the only gardener. How many places can I go? How many fruits can I pick and distribute?” He ordered all devotees to help Him in tasting the fruits and then in distributing them.
At the gopas’ request, Krsna and Balarama went to Talavana. You know the story. The donkey demon came out and kicked Balarama in the chest. Baladeva tolerated one kick, but when the donkey kicked Him again, He caught the donkey by the rear legs and whirled him around and around until he died. Then Balarama threw him into the treetops.
More donkeys ran out and attacked the two brothers, but They each grabbed one and twirled it overhead, throwing its body into the trees. The trees began to crash down under the demons’ weight. We can just imagine the cowherd boys watching from a distance, perhaps nervous at first, then cheering wildly as Krsna and Balarama killed the donkeys. After this, the Talavana forest was open to humans, animals, and birds, and everyone enjoyed the bounty, thanks to Krsna and Balarama.
pp. 142-44
Parked again in a bit of shade against an abandoned building near an Agip gas station. M. is out chanting japa, and I’m here reading the Seventh Canto. Narada is describing how all the demigods, and even he himself, had to offer prayers to Hiranyakasipu. The rivers on the heavenly planets (milk, yogurt, etc.) flowed in tribute to the demon. Srila Prabhupada several times states that we follow the authority of Vyasadeva and Sukadeva Goswami regarding the structure of the universe. We don’t follow the material scientists who claim that all planets are vacant except this one. As I read it, I felt a twinge of doubt, not in favor of the scientists, but more an unwillingness to totally accept the exclusive knowledge of Vyasa and Sukadeva—to accept that they are not merely great Vedic scholars but that their specific vision is the only correct one. But no other culture or literature completely agrees with the Vedas, so the Vedas alone must be right. For someone like me, a long-time sannyasi and guru, it’s scandalous when these things come to my mind.
It’s scandalous, but I don’t actually “think” these things. They come into my mind briefly, like dross, and I feel them for a moment, the way I sometimes feel head fog or indigestion. I live with the condition. At the same time, I go on giving lectures. In public I repeat Srila Prabhupada’s convictions. Is that hypocritical? (I recall hearing that one BBT translator was removed from his work by local authorities because of “philosophical doubts,” although he said it was just an excuse to take away his service.) I can say what I believe—that Srila Prabhupada saved me, that I read this book, praying for faith. Maybe I should be stricter in some ways. I’m looking always for that leap from reason to faith, but Srila Prabhupada prefers to say that the Srimad-Bhagavatam statements do not offend reason; they are scientific and logical.
Admitting these things, I read on.
When we transgress the sastric laws, we enter the path of destruction. I don’t want to ever ease out of my spiritual obligations. Hiranyakasipu achieved power and opulence, but he was always dissatisfied. He had been cursed by the Kumaras. I may not know even all the rules by which the sastra governs us, but I accept their rulership. I’m afraid of transgressing. Maharaja Rahugana said he was afraid to offend brahmanas. I’m afraid of offending brahmanas, my guru, and the sastric law taught by the saints.
The demigods finally took shelter of Lord Visnu. Srila Prabhupada states that if in the beginning we take shelter of Krsna, “there will be no danger under any circumstances.” (Bhag. 7.4.21, purport)
The demigods offer their obeisances “unto that direction where the Supreme Personality of Godhead is situated.” Srila Prabhupada comments that this means the holy dhamas like Vrndavana. “In the dhama there is no influence from Kali-yuga or any demon.” (Bhag. 7.4.23, purport)
“Performing kirtana and hearing the vibration of the sound Hare Krsna is actually seeing the Supreme Personality of Godhead directly. One must realize this position, and then one will be able to understand the absolute nature of the Lord’s activities.” (Bhag. 7.4.2 5-26, purport)
In his “Eulogy on Abraham” in Fear and Trembling, Kierkegaard wrote eloquently that the greatest person is the one who struggles not with the world or the self, but with God, and who loves God and maintains his faith. He says life without eternal consciousness is despair. I was glad to hear him say it. I’d like to be able to glorify God with sustained eloquence and strong reasoning, a “Kierkegaard” of Krsna consciousness. Not likely, though. Neither am I a Merton of ISKCON, or an Emily of the free.
Oh, little banjo, you pluck and sing of
Lavan Baskar in the wings
before going on stage
to pray as Mary Martin did,
“I love you!”
On goes the saffron-dyed Fruit-of-the-Loom T-shirt, the
clown, his skin shivering
(is that ecstasy?)
his right eye pre-twinging
standing by for an Esgic.
I came to Alabamy with a banjo on my knee. I can praise and explain in a simple way as I learned long ago. I did it in Spain and can do it here too if ya’ll will just listen with submission.
pp. 142-44
Improviser-composer can go and we with
me. The Japanese audience…Now, speak
to your audience – ISKCON ad answerers
Gopinatha
kaupina buyers, ad for
man in sad moon sannyasi with
ripped pockets
wants out
in honorable way (see
crocodile in water purport)
man in mermaid, reads too many books
outside Krishna consciousness, near outside. Tripurari
Swami introduced book of Sharma’s
beautiful prints
that’s okay
just don’t sell, you know, things
that are not Vedic or at least
Indian or transcendental
how about Emerson and Thoreau,
they’re transcendental?
Ginsberg? Ginseng?
Gin and tonic?
worrying no intox
save the whales, the land
the linden tree, save the brahmacaris,
save yourself first
verse book 50 cents buys
you nothing
include ten dollars for handling I’ll save
you Krsna free
just give yourself to chanting the
holy names
slap! He slapped me to shut up and
slow down your mind you’re not alone
in Mayapur room writing a poem you
did.
No, he swings but at death
he better stop all except true
Krsna consciousness – the hospice will help me
they are experienced with dying
and death
exit counseling: “Think of
Krsna. Go there. No smirks.”
Oh boy, I like this
This is Krishna conscious too
we get whipped cream?
Yeah, and whip your ass
whip
Whipper
Nipper
hey, we get freedom –
yeah, to do whatever you like
and pay for it in exit karma
harm her
harmer farmer
hammer and you’ll get it back
freedom is Vedic liberal way
devas, hells
you are a God part, so tiny
you get freedom
surrender to Lord is best, play with
that, “I dedicate this composition to Lord Krishna,
the Supreme Personality of Godhead
and to Swami Prabhupada, who brought
Krsna consciousness all over the world”
boo! They say boo and
put their feet up so, don’t associate
with them
only to those who love and
participate can the thing be attained
you don’t merge, visate means enter
kingdom of God, see all it’s
forms, persons, Krsna
is God not void
Jesus, His son, didn’t teach
much always being challenged. “His only
fault was that he was God conscious
and they crucified him. The world is
so cruel.”
But we say he wasn’t hurt, he
was totally transcendental.
I read some in the gospels, I sat in
a chair and kept my attention and it
lasted a while but then I thought this is
enough…
The room grew darker. Clouds.
This little fellow (and so many) passes through a
period of the twentieth century and probably a little
of the twenty-first, goes out and then comes back in,
in another form.
No prophet. Write with heart and joke. Joke
is ironic spoof at himself and because he’s
always on stage he has to relieve the pressure
from serious scholarship and because we are
lightweight, we are weary of hypocrites, who
also spoke to us.
Yes, yes, sir. Are you one of Swami
Prabhupada’s men?
If I’m asked a price of a rest, would
I deny it? Are you a Hare Krsna? Sometimes,
the book distributors deny it to some petty
cop so they can go on distributing.
I am one of his. Don’t ever deny it
to yourself. I’m working for him in all
I do. Trying to render my natural
momentum into acceptable song –
I’m gathering more of those broken
gourds and odd wire strings from junkyard and
make some tambouras and vinas and
Balarama drums
contract for some food to make
a clean vegetarian offering.
O Lord, you are never lazy on my
account trying to save me and
take me back to You.
I have refused You but nonetheless
You do not become angry.
You are always incessantly trying
to get me back.
I am, am I not
trying to be true in a
little, quiet solitary schedule
engaging whatever I have, and confined.
So, the song, the dialogue goes on –
keep talking, pleading my case,
and Krishna and Srila Prabhupada for
the time refraining from crushing
my argument to pieces.
I assume they love me
they let me sing and plead
and give me a measure of time to
see what I’ll do with the gift of
human life and the double gift (triple – more)
gift of association with His dearmost
servant, Prabhupada.
Dare I preach to you, whomever you are –
to please join this parampara?
It’s up to you
you decide if you want it
seems I can’t do that for you
but I’m helpless in that I must
preach, so if you want more
Krsna, hear me or else.
After moon, it’s me. I meant to say after the
poets I’ll introduce you to God, Krsna,
the best friend of everyone. The atheist Wren
doesn’t believe, I grieve for that says
Prahlada and even the Supreme Lord
constantly desires
them to end their suffering but won’t
take away their free will.
I walked on grass like a golf lawn, back
and forth in red sneakers, chanting japa but
if you ask me what prayers I made,
I can’t remember and doubt I had
any fervent prayer I count to.
Hare Krsna. My reflection in the glass
door. Zipper up the coat. Put up the hood –
it was given to me in Canada, little Irish daisies
on the lawn,
hold on, don’t despair maybe
you’ll get an idea
after the poets you’d think I’d find a theme
like childhood or forty poems to the moon
as you travel in Yugoslavia. New one each
night talking to moon like buddy and lover.
Poets in the moon. But I have no theme. I
am just relaxing and glad to have passed through
another day. My Lord allowed me. My
reading of Srimad-Bhagavatam wasn’t great,
but at least I tried. Gajendra’s prayers coming
to climax – he asks simultaneously for
liberation from body pain and from materialistic
life. He got both because the Lord is
kind – you simply have to ask.
My theme is God consciousness, Krishna torrents
Krishna drops. My memories of people and will
they write to me and I ping-pong a reply back?
Krishna, the book, the day, I’m approaching You
and asking for a reprieve.
I’d be a devotee if it was easier.
Yeah, well I like it, but I don’t
want to miss out on eternal paradise for
something the pure devotee deems as
rubbish.
But, Oh my soul, we
say and trash him as a nondevotee.
But you could say this is music of
the devotee. How?
Drop it. Just sing what you
can on your bhakti kazoo
you are on your own
weigh a cent for God sent
but you have to obey and then
we’ll give you permission to
tell it as an American.
Hare Krishna.
This is the way a simple
fellow was gruff and bluesy
for the Lord
when Christ told them –
they were eating meat… we
knew those were different
times. Underrated.
I don’t explain I let my mind
roam in field I can freely
offer to Krishna
cluster of stars of
piano notes
of going downstairs with a note
for his secretaries of the
acarya
who want to serve –
don’t mislead them.
The man on the moon
the devotee space carrier
the meeting commenced on time
with a rep from each center
ready to tell hard-core stuff
and iron out plugs, ugh.
Leave me to say at
my work desk
Compose spontaneous
you do it out of love
enthusiasm
not fear or mere duty you
are attracted and the more
advanced form of raganuga
means direct service to a
resident of Vrindavan in a
particular rasa you
know if you are qualified
make a little mistake a
little less than
you would like, less tension you
missed the point the rhythm
skipped a beat
you are a traditionalist
so, that’s okay we forgive you
because you give us a pop and
ping and it’s a light time for a
rhyme man to be happy and
challenge himself to be the best
he can do
so, I’m sorry we could not give you
the whole Mahabharata
or esoteric secret of vraja-lila
but I do want to give you that
direct Krsna conscious chanting the holy
names the best way to
keep ear-holes filled with
right sound and keep you in Krishna’s grace.
All right…
Now, serve bliss bomb Lord
who makes you work hard
He knows what’s best you
know? I think you’ll correct
me if I’m wrong. They serve
Him with sankirtana hot or
cold in Vrindavan twenty-
four hours.
pp. 41-46
In Bengali there is a saying, “If you can walk on your hands, do it, but whatever you do, change.” Prabhupäda told this to illustrate his dislike for whimsical changes. He was especially anxious that after his departure his followers might take a free hand with his books or the Deity worship and make unnecessary, unauthorized changes.
There was the story about the expert craftsmanship of a plasterer who worked on the construction of the Taj Mahal. One of the top directors of the construction was inspecting the building in progress and noticed for three days in a row a certain plasterer who was sitting in the same place mixing plaster. On the third day the inspector became angry and said, “Why are you still simply sitting and mixing this plaster? You are so lazy!” The man who was mixing the plaster also became very angry, and he threw a handful of his plaster at the inspector. The plaster missed the inspector but landed on a wall. The plaster was so well mixed, however, so solid and hard, that no one could get it off the wall, and it is still there today.
Prabhupada told this story to stress the importance of good craftsmanship and of doing everything nicely in Krsna’s service.
One of Prabhupada’s disciple-secretaries knew some Hindi and wrote out a letter that Prabhupada had dictated. But the devotee apologized, “My handwriting is not very good.”
“It doesn’t matter,” said Çréla Prabhupäda. “No one can write Hindi nicely.” Then Prabhupäda told a joke.
Someone wrote a letter to a friend in Hindi. The man replied, “Next time you write a letter in Hindi, please send train fare to go to your place.”
The friend wrote back, “Why is that?”
The other friend replied, “Because I have to go to you to decipher your letters.”
Once after silently demonstrating his technique of drinking water, Prabhupäda said to a boy who was present, “You cannot do that.” One reason for drinking in that manner was cleanliness; one’s lip or mouth doesn’t touch the edge of the drinking vessel. Prabhupäda would pour the water down, swallowing, and then tilting the chalice upright, stop the flow of water without spilling a drop.
In India, the water would be kept cool in big clay jugs. In the West, water was served with ice sometimes. Once when Prabhupäda asked for water, his servant asked, “Do you want cold water?” Prabhupäda replied, “Water means cold water.”
And water must be covered. In India, to leave a clay jug of water uncovered is, he said, “signing your death warrant.” In the West, the pitcher also should be covered.
He could appreciate different tastes of water. We would make efforts to get him the best water from special sources, like Bhagatiji’s well in Vrndavana.
He would drink quite a bit of water for health and digestion. He would make comments about it as we sat with him in his room watching him drink water. But don’t draw his water from a bathroom! Pradyumna dasa asked how it is actually different if the water comes from the bathroom, provided one doesn’t know where the water comes from.
Prabhupäda replied that it would affect the mind, even if you didn’t know where the water came from, because the bathroom is a contaminated place.
Only a disciple could know how sweet it was to talk about these apparently mundane things. To confer with Prabhupada about his needs or to talk about water was relief from greater problems. One thought, “Let me stay here and supply Prabhupada water so he can preach and write books; nothing else is as important as his water, his health, his daily Bhagavatam work, his being pleased. Nothing is as nice to see as his drinking, as the water falls from the cup to his mouth.”
If you would like to help, please contact Kṛṣṇa-bhajana dāsa at [email protected] or [email protected] and we will find you a service that utilizes your talents.
Readers will find, in the Appendix of this book, scans of a cover letter written by Satsvarūpa Mahārāja to the GN Press typist at the time, along with some of the original handwritten pages of June Bug. Together, these help to illustrate the process used by Mahārāja when writing his books during this period. These were timed books, in the sense that a distinct time period was allotted for the writing, during SDG’s travels as a visiting sannyāsī
Don’t take my pieces away from me. I need them dearly. My pieces are my prayers to Kṛṣṇa. He wants me to have them, this is my way to love Him. Never take my pieces away.
Many planks and sticks, unable to stay together, are carried away by the force of a river’s waves. Similarly, although we are intimately related with friends and family members, we are unable to stay together because of our varied past deeds and the waves of time.
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.