Satsvarupa dasa Goswami Maharaja
Spiritual Family CelebrationSaturday, July 5, 2025
What
Meeting of Disciples and friends of SDG
Where
The Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall
845 Hudson Avenue
Stuyvesant Falls, New York 12173There is plenty of parking near the Hall. The facility is just a few minutes’ walk from SDG’s home at 909 Albany Ave.
Schedule
10:00 – 10:30 A.M. Kirtana
10:30 – 11:15 A.M. Presentation by Satsvarupa Maharaja
11:15 – 12:30 P.M. Book Table
12:30 – 1:15 P.M. Arati and kirtana
1:15 — 2:15 P.M. Prasadam FeastContact
Baladeva Vidyabhusana at [email protected] or (518) 754-1108
Krsna dasi at [email protected] or (518) 822-7636SDG: “I request as many devotees as possible to attend so we can feel the family spirit strongly. I become very satisfied when we are all gathered together.”
******
Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā 20.124–125: “O great learned devotee, although there are many faults in this material world, there is one good opportunity—the association with devotees. Such association brings about great happiness. . . . .”
Srila Prabhupāda: “Therefore, our Society is association. If we keep good association, then we don’t touch the darkness. What is the association? There is a song, sat-saṅga chāḍi’ kainu asate vilāsa, te-kāraṇe lāgila mora karma-bandha-phāṅsa (Gaurā Pahū, verse 3). Sat-saṅga. Sat-saṅga means association with the devotees. So the one poet, Vaiṣṇava poet, is regretting that, ‘I did not keep association with the devotees, and I wanted to enjoy life with the nondevotees. Therefore I’m being entangled in the fruitive activities.’ Karma bandha phāṅsa. Entanglement.” [Conversation with David Wynne, July 9, 1973, London]
Haribol! It was a tumultuous week for Satsvarupa Maharaj. He had 2 to 3 regular headaches a day as well as five migraines this week.
The recovery times after taking appropriate medicine is starting to slow down as his resistance wears thin and he has to spend more time in bed. Ultimately, this means less time for quality writing, meditation, darshan of Radha-Govinda, answering letters, reading, chanting, etc. etc. It is not only suffering but a disturbance to his service to Prabhupada.
He looks forward to reading letters from devotees, even though he may not be able to respond to them all. Every morning he asks “Is there any mail?“ and is disappointed when there is none. This is a long-standing lack of communication – – Satsvarupa Maharaja does like to hear how devotees are progressing in their service to Prabhupada and hear about challenges and triumphs. Invite him to become part of your life again so he has an opportunity to reciprocate. Please know that he reads his own mail and is the only one to respond when it is possible.
MIXED–THREE DAYS MORE HEADACHES LESS WRITING, THREE DAYS LESS HEADACHES MORE WRITING AND ONE DAY MIXED
Hare Krsna,
Baladeva
If you would like to help, please contact Kṛṣṇa-bhajana dāsa at [email protected] or [email protected] and we will find you a service that utilizes your talents.
Sometimes during this chanting, Prabhupada communicated unspoken feelings to his disciples: “He might simply glance at one of the devotees, but that devotee would feel a surge of loving emotion and realization. Suddenly he would understand better how pure and compassionate Srila Prabhupada was. And the devotee might recall how Srila Prabhupada had come and saved him, bringing him to Krsna consciousness.” (SPL, Vol. 6, pp. 320-21)
******
I am a spider, a spiderman. I stay within the walls and have safety valves (new word and concept) to let me feel emotions without going outside the four rules. My emotions sometienes soar like blues horns and drums, and my pulse beats time. My life turns more to prayer, yes, prayer. Please accept me as I chant.
******
“By the mercy of the Lord, all truths were revealed to Sarvabhauma Bhattacarya, and he could understand the importance of chanting the holy name and distributing love of Godhead everywhere.” (Cc. Madhya 6.205)
******
You might think a bhakta could write a more ecstatic diary than this one. He would be making discoveries in his inner life and becoming a changed man. He would be crying for Krsna, realizing that Krsna and His name are nondifferent—and record it all in his diary. Or he would record his preaching adventures. This diary is quieter, more “static,” telling of my asking Aniruddha to build bookshelves for my room and to please put a lock on the shed door. Let me show the virtue of patiently accepting the life that has been given to me so generously by the Supreme Lord (Krsna). Or at least show that I am sorry I couldn’t be better.
******
Crying shame. He got his dhoti wet and dirty from walking in the air. Saffron sweat pants also got smudges on them. He was walking down the path, but there was a construction machine at work, and a devotee, so he backed away, looking for privacy. Busy little doings at Geaglum. He wanted his own world, so he walked in the opposite direction and came here to say this: Krsna, Krsna! He chanted loudly—loud and clear—and the rain beat against his eyeglasses. When it hurt, cold, he chanted at that time. Dear Lord, please allow me to serve my master. He is kind to me.
******
Prabhupada assures us that we can be with Krsna and the spiritual master by sound. Don’t stress exclusively seeing. Krsna is with us in the chanting of Hare Krsna and in His teachings in Bhagavad-gita. I read this in Namamrta tonight to four devotees gathered for the Karttika candle lighting. I was impressed to hear it. Suddenly I remembered how I heard Bill Clinton give his acceptance speech earlier this month. I was in Italy and picked it up on short-wave radio. In the same way, spiritually, we can be with Krsna by the “radio” of our chanting and hearing. It’s not just us chanting, but Krsna is with us if we want Him. Serve by chanting.
******
Yes, I can go beyond my petty self. I can chant and be with Krsna and realize the self as spirit soul. Muffins, betoward,
pennants, cold days
winter comin’ in.
Be here now—your body
can’t last: Everyone dies.
Don’t think you are
better than someone who has died.
We who are here now will be swept away by Time like peas on a plate.
Krsna! Krsna! Please save me.
Krsna. Chant nine rounds. Help yourself. Be your own best friend to body and soul and mind. What? You don’t always know how to care for yourself? You are not able to do the right thing? You are not enough of a hero and can’t reach out to heroically save others? Well, crawl along the earth then. Be kinder, nonviolent, and walk twice a day out to the shed or down the road to the quay where dirty-looking foam gathers in from the lake.
******
Lord Caitanya embraced the leper Vasudeva, who then became a beautiful man. To protect him from pride, Lord Caitanya told him to always chant the Hare Krsna mantra. He also advised him to preach about Krsna and to liberate jivas. “As a result, Krsna would very soon accept him as His devotee.” (Cc. Madhya 7.148) Prabhupada writes, “If one wants to be recognized as a devotee by Krsna, he should take to preaching work, following the advice of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Then one will undoubtedly attain the lotus feet of Sri Krsna Caitanya, Lord Krsna Himself, without delay.”
******
Earlier Lord Caitanya advised the Ktirma brahmana to stay at home and chant and teach Krsna’s upadesa to whomever he met. Even when I’m not traveling or reaching out physically to large numbers of people, I may always chant (my sixteen rounds), speak in classes, and publish profusely (my disciples will print and distribute the books).
******
The distance we want to cover is the distance it takes us to get to Krsna’s lotus feet. Turn the mind to Krsna. Always look at the Lord’s lotus feet. Don’t be in a hurry to see His face. In this way, use the mind in Krsna’s service. Chant Hare Krsna. While chanting we often find ourselves conjuring, conjecturing, dozing, hallucinating, struggling with one illusion or another because of our lazy or passionate and uncontrolled natures. We witness the mind’s insubordination and then beg to be allowed to bring it back under the control of the higher self, especially when we’re chanting. When writing, I can easily insert, “Krsna, Krsna,” and then while telling of my little life and of what I have read recently, express gratitude befitting a would-be sadhaka.
pp. 6-9
I was raised as a Catholic boy. Although I did not go to parochial schools, I was still expected to imbibe Catholic schoolings in my early years. Every Sunday I would go to Mass with my mother at the head and myself and my sister along with her. My father never went to church. He believed the Catholic priests were bogus and just wanted to collect money. But he couldn’t prevent my mother from taking my sister along with us to Mass, especially on Sunday, and also on Christmas Mass at midnight. My mother was pious in the Catholic ritual. She was especially adherent to the Catholic Mass (and every Sunday) to show her gratitude for Christ bringing her husband back from World War II, where he was an active combatant in the U.S. Navy.
My mother would dress us up in full dress clothing and bring us especially to the Sunday midnight Mass. There we had religious feelings for Jesus Christ and God for bringing our father back from the war. (I’m going to take a drink of water here while I say my prayers half out- loud.)
I wore a suit and tie, and my sister dressed fancy. The main talk of our concentration was Jesus Christ and the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Due to my mother’s piety, we said real prayers during the Mass and listened attentively to the priest in his sermon, while he was dressed in special-colored clothes. Sunday Mass at midnight, and especially Christmas midnight Mass, we observed with a holy spirit. I wish I could recall those Sundays with more holiness and fervor. We really believed in Jesus and applied ourself to the prayers. Jesus was our savior, he had saved our father, and he had brought him home safely from the wars.
I can’t explain much why my father didn’t go to church. He was in the war, and he had seen our Allied men killed by the enemy. So he was inimical to the Japanese and Germans, and could not find fervor in his heart for the enemy.
I sang to Jesus with all my heart. My faith was not a mechanical or artificial thing. I was really faithful to Kṛṣṇa and took faith from my mother’s deep faith.
When I grew older, I lost my faith in the Catholic Church and the holiness of the Mass and grew cold in my allegiance to the holy Catholic Church. But it was a real thing over the years. It lasted …
I had lasting belief in the priests and nuns during those years, but I lost it after the war. Does it really matter? Jesus accepted me during my prayerful years and took me as his faithful one.
It is too bad that my mother could not keep up her faith in her children, and that we lost it and became ordinary kids after my father returned home, and after we accepted my father as an ordinary man.
But fortunately, I accepted a new and real faith, and I grew up and learned about faith in the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. It was then I gained my actual belief in God.
I’m sorry in a sense that I grew out of love of God. But I’m very happy that I met my spiritual master, A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami, when it was almost too late, and when I had become like an atheist. Rather I learned to love, real faith in my spiritual master, A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda. He’s instilled in me true faith in the real God, and real zeal for Jesus and the Personality of Godhead. Once I came to Prabhupāda and learned the real message, I lost all callousness and disbelief and became a true holy son of God, and through the grace of my spiritual master I have kept up my faith in him for the rest of my life.
His statements are not make-believe or merely automatic. Through my spiritual master, I adopted full faith in Godhead.
I still have a long way to go before I attain true faith in the Personality of Godhead. But I can honestly say I am on the honest path, and I don’t think that I will lose it, ever. May God protect me! May all the saints protect me. And I owe my gratitude to my mother, who unfortunately later became a sectarian who could not keep my faith.
My mother proved herself to be sectarian and a hypocrite to real faith. But my spiritual master remains my holy guide. He has saved me from all narrowness and wrong spirit of religion.
He made me actual son of God.
I don’t mean to say my spiritual master was in any way short-minded in love of God. Rather, he was the one with true spiritual religion. He saved me from short-visions or sectarianism in religion. He is the one who has given me real sight of the Divinity.
I must say that I fall short in my best vision of God. That is my fault, not his. I pray to him to become truly broadminded and true to the real spirit of God. He is giving me everything, and it is only I who am failing to grasp the whole vision he is giving me. He will always give me full vision, and it is only I who fail him. I pray to him, the holy spirit, that I will one day take to his whole vision and become a true visionary of the full vision of God.
I have been writing about true faith in God and my failing to capture it. But I remain determined to attain it one day. I have the best guide. I’m eighty-five years old, so I have little time to gain full vision. But I know God is very, very merciful. He doesn’t deny me. He is capable of giving me full mercy. My prayer, then, is for God to allow me to love Him completely. I may not do it in this lifetime, but Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura said, “It should be attained in one lifetime.” Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī and my own spiritual master have declared I can achieve back to Godhead in one lifetime. I depend on their words. I trust in their promise. I pray to You, O Lord of lords: please give me Your mercy before I have to pass too many births. O Lord of lords, please put urgency in my prayer.
pp. 351-55
According to Vaisnava siddhanta, serving the order (vani) of the spiritual master is more substantial than serving him in his physical presence (vapuh). But if you have no attachment at all for his personal presence, then when the spiritual master is gone from your sight you may forget him. This is what we were afraid of in 1967 when Swamiji went to India. He even said, “I may not come back, but you continue the Krsna consciousness movement.” We replied, “Swamiji, how can we continue it without you? We’ve only known you for a few months, please don’t go away.” At that time we did not think that we could endure service in separation, which all followers of Prabhupada are now asked to practice. In 1967, we had barely even a toehold on our own spiritual lives, and not much conviction that we could represent him. It was Krsna’s arrangement that Prabhupada did not leave at that time, but stayed with us for another ten years. We may take this as a sign that a certain amount of development is required before a disciple can fully prosecute service in separation.
When Prabhupada left in November 1977, it seemed like a catastrophe. But in terms of service in separation from Prabhupada, there were also signs of solace. For example, after Prabhupada’s disappearance, a new equality was ushered in as to who could approach him. Previously, only a small elite were allowed to spend time with Srila Prabhupada; after his disappearance everyone could go into Prabhupada’s room. And now everyone can have their own murti of Prabhupada and massage him daily and bathe him and dress him and cook for him. By studying his books and serving, each devotee is entitled to his own realizations, and even more than before, he is free to confirm the results of his surrender. As Prabhupada used to say, “It is not that someone has to give you a certificate to prove that you are Krsna conscious, but you will know yourself. It is just like a hungry man who, when he eats, knows his own satisfaction without anyone else telling him.”
In the later 1970s ISKCON grew so big that SrIla Prabhupada decided to manage it through his leaders, and he stressed the institutional formulas of temple life for all devotees. One time a devotee went and complained to Srila Prabhupada that ISKCON had become so big that he felt he no longer had access to Prabhupada. Prabhupada replied, “ISKCON may be big, but I am small.” Srila Prabhupada went on to explain that he was always the same person, and that each devotee could serve him wherever they were in the world. Prabhupada said that the multi-duties of ISKCON everywhere were actually Prabhupada’s own service to his Guru Maharaja. When each of Prabhupada’s disciples assisted him, whether by waving the peacock fan before the Deity or by preaching on Prabhupada’s behalf, they should know that they were personally assisting their spiritual master.
One could be with Srila Prabhupada by that service meditation, but most devotees could not expect to go to Prabhupada and reveal their minds to him. Although Prabhupada personally knew hundreds of devotees, still most followers could not go to Prabhupada and express how they were growing as persons and ask if some of their tendencies could be dovetailed in Krsna consciousness. Such matters were dealt with by Prabhupada’s representatives, who counseled most of the devotees.
By Prabhupada’s desire, his senior followers continue to give counsel to all the followers of Prabhupada. But for better or worse, more devotees are also deciding on their own how they want to render service to the Krsna consciousness movement. Thus they claim that they know best how they can serve Srila Prabhupada.
There are certain advantages to the system instituted by Prabhupada—that his disciples should go through senior representatives. Although some devotees may have felt that they had less opportunities to express themselves, yet they accepted with full faith that they were surrendering to Prabhu-pada. By limiting one’s choice of how to serve, one can also eliminate whimsical ideas. When a secretary or temple president representing Prabhupada would say, “Srila Prabhupada heard what you wanted to do and this is what he says”—a devotee would be fully satisfied that Prabhupada had actually heard him out. And it is not that Prabhupada or his representatives said “no” to every suggestion by a devotee who wanted to serve in his own way. But the emphasis was on the needs of the mission first and foremost. If, after Prabhupada’s disappearance, the spirit of willingness to surrender to the mission and its representatives has deteriorated, that is unfortunate.
On the other hand, a gain can be calculated after the acarya’s disappearance in terms of a disciple’s being forced to rely more on the caitya-guru, or the Supersoul within the heart. Even during Prabhupada’s appearance, he frequently encouraged trusted disciples to go ahead and render their service to Prabhupada according to their own intelligence. Prabhupada would say, “You are a sincere devotee, so Krsna will tell you how to paint for Him.” Or, “Because you are sincere, I am sure that whatever you decide will be according to Krsna’s desire.” And thus devotees were encouraged to take advantage of both the inner guide as well as the presence and instructions of the acarya, Srila Prabhupada. By the parampara method, spiritual masters continue to act on behalf of Prabhupada and guide new followers of the Krsna consciousness movement. But all followers of Prabhupada, as they seek confirmation of their connection to Prabhupada, will rely both on the instruction of their gurus and the confirmation of the inner guide.
As long as the spiritual master is present as the representative of the Supersoul, one may feel less need to commune with the Inner Guide. But when the acarya leaves, he sometimes directs his followers to turn more to the Lord in the heart. It is as if he is saying, “Now I am leaving and it is up to you to follow me with your whole life. And you may know that you are doing this by inner signs as well as outer ones.”
Of course, Prabhupada wants us to serve under the spiritual-managerial authority of ISKCON’s Governing Body Commission and to follow the instructions which he gave, and to support his institution in one way or another. And yet within these structures there is freedom for expression. If we don’t express this freedom nicely, then we will displease Krsna and Prabhupada. but when we do it successfully, then, as stated in Srimad-Bhagavatam, yayatma suprasidati—the self will be satisfied. And this atma-satisfaction is the final test of whether we are prosecuting Krsna consciousness rightly.
Upon being given freedom, a mature spiritual son or daughter may reply as follows: “Thank you, Prabhupada, for this freedom to serve you as I like. As far as I am concerned, I don’t want any freedom that will deviate me from you. I just want to serve you for your pleasure.”
pp. 4-8
Reading a little. Voice inside says, “You don’t have to read everyday, all the time etc.” But what else is there to do? If I don’t read this, I’ll read what Srila Prabhupada would consider “nonsense.” He said we don’t read nonsense book. Huxley’s morality. No. We read Bhagavatam, we read Bhagavad-gita. Those same four books over and over? Doesn’t it get boring?
That’s what I ask myself. Sometimes it’s boring. Everything gets tasteless.
As for writing, if you make notes as you read it’s not much of a literary form or project. These are not summary notes. But—will there be a book interesting to others, etc.? Yes, depending on how truthful and deep you go. Read and write.
He asked, on seeing one of my flying men figures, “Is he holding a beadbag?” It was a joke meaning, “I can’t understand your silly drawings.”
I replied, “Yes, if you like.”
Lord Caitanya is discoursing and convincing Sarva that he should be a devotee. Okay? How do you like that?
I am indulging myself as far as possible to make it easy. You can write here and you can draw here. You can stop reading whenever you like. You can skip over purports until you reach a section that suits your mood. And . . . as long as you keep a book with you and keep it on your lap and keep returning to it. I say A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam was too rigid for me. This is the same principle but free writing and—a freer approach to reading also, which may enable me to read more.
Doodlededo.
I am yours too.
There’s no way out
when you cynic rout
and shout Haribol
I’m scotfree!
(Couldn’t write more than that ode at a stretch)
I skipped ahead to the end of Lord Caitanya’s arguments. Sarva was astounded. Do I care, do I mock? Are there traces of acid, of wisdom?
On poem-writing Hugo said: “You owe reality nothing and you owe the truth about your feelings everything.” I am not going to stop to expand things to people who may not follow—and yet I do write for readers.
It’s painful. Restless, bore, clamps his teeth and writes on. It’s all a game, a gimmick to get him to read, to get him to write, to get him tonight. The camel alert.
“Caitanya Mahaprabhu is certainly Lord Krsna himself. Because I could not understand Him and was very proud of my own learning, I have committed many offenses.”
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said: “Today I have conquered the three worlds very easily. Today I have ascended to the spiritual world.” (Madhya 6.230) He said this because if a preacher converts someone and liberates them, then he gets entry back to Godhead.
Lord Caitanya was happy to see Sarva honor the prasadam with faith. (Not just that he ate it.)
If you can be truthful and if you can stick with the scripture, then I will stick with you.
The idea is complete open end—start reading or writing anywhere and stop whenever you have to. No obligations except the hope that we’ll keep going with this and eventually increase reading in Srila Prabhupada’s books.
Now turning to “The Lord’s tour of South India”. I tell myself, “Go ahead write out some slokas sometimes, it will look nice. Try not to think of the outcome of this.”
As I read, things go through my mind. That doesn’t mean I’m obliged to write them all down. Now the rhetoric of C.c. translated begins to catch hold. “Who can tolerate this?” (said Lord Nityananda). Silent, solemn faces (description of His friends when He told them He wanted to go alone to South India). Let that keep happening—overcome layers of objections and offenses in the mind. Perfection might be not to write at all? The writer-self sits back in “samadhi“, or at least silence, while the reading-self reads on. “We” all remain silent and hear and it’s good for us.
Now I recall one of the objections to the writing-reading combination. The free-writer feels he is not encouraged to let loose at length. The reader feels that certain errant thoughts are “not appropriate” to be placed in the midst of notes on the sacred scrip-ture. We object that we are doing “rasa-bhasa“. That doodles don’t belong.
It requires a submissive attitude. Also a humble one that says there is no other way for me to keep up my interest except this lenient way. I envisioned myself keeping it up for weeks ….. Producing a book in three copies. It’s the logical extension of A Poor Man Reads the Bhagavatam. I’m able to do it anywhere, for any vent of time .. .
It’s not going to immediately transform everything. I still tend to read lightly and I’m unaffected by what I read. I store the information. I’ve heard it before. Neither do I want to become curious for new esoteric things in Gaudiya Vaisnava books. I like the idea of finding newer and deeper appreciation in Prabhupada’s books. But then I have to contend with repetition of subject matter in a limited number of books you reread your whole life.
Lord Caitanya expressed His love for His devotees by describing their faults in the ways they made Him break principles of etiquette. Damodara Panclita (with a stick), Jagadananda (with his anger and fasting), Mukunda, Lord Nityananda (tricking the Lord). Sometimes in love such advanced devotees transcend norms of behavior. Srila Prabhupada: “Unfortunately, as long as we are within in this material world we must observe social customs to avoid criticism by the general populace.” (Madhya 7.29, purport)
Keep going, mate. That’s all I can say. I think it will get better.
pp. 114-18
Prabhupada singing:
hare krsna hare krsna, krsna krsna hare hare
hare rama hare rama, rama rama hare hare
I have been speaking the radio shows down by the lake, but since yesterday, big trucks have been going down there to pick up rocks. Let’s see if I can get out early enough that I don’t run into them. Just in case, though, I’ll talk as I walk down there.
Prabhupada asked, “Who is crazy?” It’s not difficult to find a crazy person—he said that in 1968 in Los Angeles as he saw the cars going back and forth, back and forth all day long. “They’re crazy,” he said, meaning, “What are they doing?” Their commercial endeavors are especially useless, especially in a city like Los Angeles where despite their serious intentions, everything can be finished with one earthquake. An earthquake has destroyed the roads? Don’t worry! Within hours, they have arranged new roads upon which they can continue their serious back-and-forth travel. Prabhupada questioned whether it was really so different from a dog’s running back and forth, or a cat’s.
Of course, as he said that, I thought, “Well, you’re really stepping on some toes here! I mean, would he stop it all?” And of course, Prabhupada knew he couldn’t stop it. Devotees are not stoppers through violent aggression, so who will notice if one sadhu is standing on the sidewalk saying, “This is crazy, all this back and forth for sense gratification”? It seems of no account except to a handful of followers.
But it is of definite account to those followers, and those followers are out making it of account to others. And besides that, it becomes of account as those followers are taught by the sadhu to use the inevitable energy being generated out there in Krsna’s service. We too get into cars and go out for Krsna’s purpose. Beyond the activity of driving back and forth on crowded freeways is the motive behind it, and that’s what makes the difference between someone caught in a world of craziness and a devotee.
Sadhus should speak the truth. Prabhupada said that the real purpose of human life was to awaken to our constitutional spiritual nature as Krsna’s servants and those of us who were willing to go out and tell others that message were real welfare workers. Prabhupada conceded that other welfare work is nice—hospitals, and so on—but that those other forms of charity have little ultimate value. He compared it to finding a lost child and discovering that he is actually the son of a rich man. It is far better for the child’s ongoing improvement to carry him back to his father than to give him a free meal. Similarly, it’s better if we carry people back to their true father than tend only to their bodies.
And, of course, the sadhu’s words are not of no account if they are part of the message carried to others. They weigh so much that they will be heard and taken into the hearts of people and applied. That’s how Krsna consciousness is spread. Imagine if the preaching were so successful that numbers of people became devotees. Whole constituencies! Then we would see the craziness diminish. People would begin to wonder themselves why they were working so hard, driven on by the modes of passion and ignorance. What about these people here? Why are they working so many hours to remove stone from a lakeside and to put it somewhere else? Yes, people would ask themselves that question.
pp. 80-83
A new letter from Bob Spiess (Modern Haiku’s editor) is encouraging. He prefaces his remarks by saying that haiku is an art and therefore “its ‘rules’ or even its principles should not be taken as strict fiats—and this includes what I probably will be saying in this letter.” He then admits that all areas of experience can be subject matter for haiku but that religious themes “tend to be more difficult to write on than say material that is more nature oriented.”
He says the “danger” of strictly religious haiku is the tendency to make them sermonettes or overly personal, “and ego expression in haiku often does not work out particularly well—it perhaps tends to be somewhat blatant instead of suggestive.”
He makes the point that religious haiku of a particular denomination or religion tends to lack universal appeal. “I am not at all ‘against’ religious haiku,” he writes. “I would like to see more truly good ones. But mere praise of God, Christ, Buddha, Allah does not automatically mean that the haiku is aesthetic or artistic—and it is this aesthetic appeal that is one of the principal attributes of a genuine haiku.”
He also makes a distinction between personal and private—”private haiku tends to be cryptic and persons find it difficult to enter into them or empathize with the situation.
“Haiku that are expressions of religious praise or adoration frequently lack another of the primary qualities of most haiku, that of juxtaposition of perceptions, of the use of internal comparison where each of the two separate perceptions nonetheless enhance each other and at the same time create a third aspect (unexpressed) of an intuition that transcends both the perceptions.”
These remarks are encouraging, in that he likes religious haiku and would like to see truly good ones, and he admits that there are no rules against them. But it is discouraging to think that spiritual haiku is less likely to succeed. It is like saying, “You can try religious themes, but you already have two strikes against you. Good luck.” I should not shy from a difficult challenge, but it makes me question whether the haiku expression is worth so much effort. I do want to create aesthetic experiences for as many people as possible, but I cannot water down a kirtana just so that no one is “offended” by the name, form, and paraphernalia of Krsna.
Listening to Prabhupada on a tape. He was speaking strongly how Krsna is nonsectarian, yet it is very rare that a person can understand Him in truth. I took this as literary advice, in contrast to the advice I get from secular editors.
Prabhupada said Krsna is not a Hindu god, although He is defined that way in the English dictionary. In Bhagavad-gita says sarva-yonisu: He is the father of all living entities. It is our task as devotees to inform others about nonsectarian Krsna and His all-knowing dominion over all that be. If I omit direct reference to Krsna, it may please some editors, but I will face the greatest loss.
Very few people know Krsna. They do not like us to speak directly of Him. But we have to take up the work, trying to inform them how Krsna is nonsectarian. According to Bhagavad-gita (7.3), few will be able to understand Krsna in truth. But by our attempt to know and glorify Krsna, He will be pleased with us.
Ice-crusty snow on the ground, wet snow falling like mist. Here they have gray jays, but their wheedle-wheedle sounds the same as the blue jays of Gita Nagari. Lots of starlings and two or three large crows gathered on a few trees. Devotees have left some garbage on the ground here in the woods, and the crows (just as described in Srimad-Bhagavatam) are congregating. One of them sounds a warning as I approach, but the starling flock is complacent. They move from one tree to another. The gray atmosphere, the barrenness, and even the droning of jet planes overhead, make it all rather eerie, reminding me of a cremation ground.
The winter woods leave very little privacy. As you turn in almost any direction you face an upper-class suburban mansion. A sign on a stout tree just over our property line: “No Trespassing.”
I can help the devotees of Potomac dhama just by staying here. grfla Agranf Swami has also agreed to visit once a month. Those who stay here all the time have a hard row to hoe, gathering finances, facing the opposition of the nondevotees, and quarreling among themselves.
In the Bhagavatam class this morning, Vidura dasa emphasized the importance of chanting japa. He said he has been traveling for a year interviewing Prabhupada’s disciples for Prabhupada Nectar. He met with many persons who no longer follow the principles of Krsna consciousness. In almost every case, when they began to describe their departure from Krsna conscious life, they mentioned that their first weakness was a gradual slackening in careful chanting of their japa rounds. And that one slackening led to others.
Saddened—
by demons,
by my inadequacy,
by departing,
by struggles of my disciples
who can’t rise early,
who avoid surrender
and who lodge complaints.
Sadness is the taint
of this mortal world.
Happiness and safety
are on the path
back to Godhead.
pp. 122-24
You’re sorry when you start japa late because you fear you’ll neglect the mantras. There’s no need to neglect them, even if you start late. You still keep your pace, rapid but even, and clearly enunciating the words. So what if it takes you longer into the day to complete the rounds? You still have to do them all, and as nicely as possible. It’s the duty of the individual. You made your individual vow to Prabhup?da to do sixteen rounds. It’s a solemn vow. Other things can be put aside in order to complete your japa. You hear yourself chanting and rumble along. You keep the same reverence. You restrain your impatience and irritation. It’s just another day. Chanting gets done, rain or shine. You spend a late morning chanting. It means just as much to you on an early day as on a late day. There’s not some great advantage on an early day. It just seems that way. A chanting career is built on steadiness day in, day out, and in attention to the mantras, no matter what the condition. You control yourself to keep the same quality and effort in hearing. There’s no racing to get a “bargain basement” set done. Holy, holy, holy, merciful and mighty. Be careful you don’t cheat yourself and do less.
The chanting of the holy name resonates in your mind and comes out your mouth. You pay attention to the quality, that each mantra is uttered clearly, each syllable pronounced and heard. You try as usual for reciprocation with the Divine Couple. Have faith that They are hearing you and are pleased with your recitation. This is the most important part of your day. “Of all the orders of the spiritual master, the order to chant sixteen rounds is essential.”(Cc. Madhya 22.113, purport) I am all right, don’t worry about me.
Say it over and
over again, the
maha-mantra.
Say it over and over
again, thousands of
times, from your
heart.
Let Krsna’s names vibrate
in your room as you finger
your beads. Let the early
hours go by and repeat the
mantras without cessation.
That’s the way to Krsna in this
age. It’s the best way to realize
that the name is Him. By many
repetitions without offenses, you
will realize
success in spiritual life.
Say it over and over
again: Hare Krsna Hare
Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare
Hare Hare Rama Hare
Rama Rama Rama
Hare Hare. Say it until you’re
tired, and then say more.
You’ll get your second wind and start to relish the sound vibration as coming from Goloka. Keep chanting later in the day and try to extend your numerical strength until you’re a lover of the holy names.
sat-saṅga, kṛṣṇa-sevā, bhāgavata, nāma
vraje vāsa,—ei pañca sādhana pradhāna
“To be elevated to the platform of devotional service, the following five items should be observed: association with advanced devotees, engagement in the service of Lord Kṛṣṇa, the reading of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, the chanting of the holy names of the Lord and residence in Vṛndāvana or Mathura. (Cc. Madhya 24.113)
pp. 48-51
The room where I am staying is simple. The wood beams on the ceiling are rough, and the tile on the floor is made of stone. It is a good place to cry for Krsna. Remember Him when you climb up to your high bed. Remember Him on your morning walk in the grassy fields and secluded roads, while soaking delicious Ekadasi biscuits in your hot milk, while looking upon the faces of your friends, while setting up the altar and spreading your work out before you. “Start today,” you wrote after Maggio 18 on the calendar. Days and hours and moments of thinking of Krsna and not forgetting Him. O Gurudeva, please allow me to always think and serve in a way that is pleasing to Krsna. If I’m busy, earnest, even desperate, but it’s not pleasing to Krsna, then it’s all wasted. All temporary efforts have this goal, and this is their success: to please Krsna and His devotees.
There is an old drawing of Christ hanging on the cross in this room, and a poem to Mother Maria. I found a nail to hang the picture of Gita-nagari’s Radha- Damodara. I am gauging how cool it is and what clothes I should wear, what I should say . . . I threw drops of water on the desk and wiped it with a tissue. It is twilight. The lights are on, but the front door is still open, and I can smell the fresh mowed grass. I love this life.
Sometimes I think I am seeking what could be called a “heaven on earth.” When we drove up here, I saw quite a few roadside altars, prayer spots, shelves with a relief or statue of Mary, and it occurred to me that some people are honestly pious. They want a life with God present in it, and they want people to honor the saints and behave respectably. They don’t want crime, but gentleness. But how is it possible? And what am I doing to contribute to their vision? If I am shallow, sensitive only to my own pains, then I cannot be of any help.
So I write here, “Let me always think of Govinda.” Remember to remember. Remember and live now.
In ink, in blood, in spirit, in amma (undigested food), in vita and pitta, kapha, in the bag of three kinds of elements, in the hot and cold bathing, in the music that runs through my head . .. Don’t make fun of those who try to remember Krsna in pop songs, but welcome remembrance wherever it comes. There are millions of seconds in our lives, a constant flow and change. We have to be flexible. This is not just an official attempt, but a cry from the heart. I resort to saying, “And this too, and also this, and this . . . ” I pray, “Krsna, please let it happen. Incline me to You.”
It’s not like holding your breath under water. Not like in the summer of 1966 when I would propose to myself to go on chanting for the entire walk between First Street and Fourteenth. No, it’s more natural than that. The gopis meditate on Krsna while doing everything. “Persons who are constantly engaged in the transcendental meditation of seeing Krsna, internally and externally, by thinking of Him playing the flute, entering the Vrndavana forest, and tending the cows with the cowherd boys have really attained the perfection of samadhi . . the gopis indicate that the pastimes of Krsna are the perfection of all meditation and samadhi” (KRSNA, Chapter 21, p. 188).
pp. 32-35
I’m getting used to life in the firehouse. After all, it’s got a nice rhythm to it. We go to bed late, or early if we like. The men and women live separately. The food is good, real good—good cooks. The best cooks are the men, especially Manohara and (I forget the other name—the woman who cooks the best). We can get up whenever we like. I like to get up early. Baladeva likes to stay in bed a little longer, but I coax him to get up early. I coax him so early that we get up around 5:00 A.M. and then I coax him to give me a shower and dress me in new clothes. It’s a little too early for him, but he obeys me. It’s nice living cozy together, one little bed next to the other. For a while he was not getting up at the same time as me. This produced a problem. I wasn’t allowed to get new clothes on and get a shower for hours because he was behind me. But now we’ve got it in rhythm, and we’re getting up pretty much at the same time.
(Saci Suta says everyone likes me in the firehouse. He says it’s a good place to live, and I’m coming to accept what he says.)
I phoned, on a hunch, Dr. Nitai Gaurasundara. He phones us every day and gets a report on my health and Baladeva’s health. Both of our health situations are usually not so good. Today I confessed to him that I’ve made a big change in my life. I told him I now live in a firehouse, and that I’m a New York fireman. He was somewhat surprised by this, or even amazed. How could we be firemen? But it’s true, we are. He couldn’t quite believe it and so ended our phone conversation after only a couple of minutes. It’ll probably take a couple of phone calls before he comes to accept that we actually live in the firehouse. Saci has convinced me that I’m living in the best place for my safety, and Baladeva is convinced too that it’s pretty good.
What else could we do instead? We’ve finished our lives as students or hangers-on; we’re living our own life but under the protection of the firehouse. I am not going to keep repeating this about this change in my life. We’ll state the fact, and we’ll tell people, even though they think it’s “crazy.”
I was worried at one point that Baladeva wouldn’t continue to bathe me completely and dress me, that he would keep different hours than I did. But he promised me today that we would both keep the same hours. He would let me wake him up early in the morning, and he would let me bathe early in the morning. So we’re not going to break up our great friendship, we’re not going to break up things, and, for example, ask young fireman Jagannatha to bathe me and dress me. That’s Baladeva’s job. So as far as I can see, we’ll keep it up.
I hope Saci has no objection to it, seeing us two closely united and living out the life of firemen who have been firemen for almost twenty years together.
Saci Suta seems to like the idea. He says he loves me, and he likes the fact that I’m living under his protection in my last years, when my body and mind are getting so weak, and I’ve got the old Parkinson’s disease.
As for my being a writer and continuing to write, can I keep it up? Can I continue the team of Krsna-bhajana and me? Or have I lost my ability to write as I’ve been doing for decades? I’ve been writing steadily for decades of years, and I want to keep it up.
(After this you write more about firehouse life and tell actual firehouse adventures and keep going with it under the guidance of KB.) I have to realize that this is my home. I have a new home now, the firehouse. I’ve had breakfast. I’ll probably take a nap because I’m so tired. (I have been awake since five in the morning talking with Baladeva about the realism of living in the firehouse. Saci Suta helped me.)
******
After lunch I made a proposal to Kadamba Kanana’s disciple, Jagannatha dasa. I asked him to read to me from the book of his spiritual master Kadamba Kanana Maharaja. It was a small book, Devotional Service. It outlined each of the steps in bhakti. It was an enjoyable broadcast of the nine different methods of bhakti. I enjoyed it with Jagannatha.
He said we had read one third of the book, and that we should pause there and save the rest for a later reading. So we did that.
Meanwhile I went about the normal activities of temple life. Aside from reading, I grew a little tired and lay down and took about a half hour’s rest in my personal bed.
The weekend came, and some of the householder devotees returned to their homes to be with their wives and children. I stayed alone with the other single men in the firehouse.
Readers will find, in the Appendix of this book, scans of a cover letter written by Satsvarūpa Mahārāja to the GN Press typist at the time, along with some of the original handwritten pages of June Bug. Together, these help to illustrate the process used by Mahārāja when writing his books during this period. These were timed books, in the sense that a distinct time period was allotted for the writing, during SDG’s travels as a visiting sannyāsī
Don’t take my pieces away from me. I need them dearly. My pieces are my prayers to Kṛṣṇa. He wants me to have them, this is my way to love Him. Never take my pieces away.
Many planks and sticks, unable to stay together, are carried away by the force of a river’s waves. Similarly, although we are intimately related with friends and family members, we are unable to stay together because of our varied past deeds and the waves of time.
To Śrīla Prabhupāda, who encouraged his devotees (including me) To write articles and books about Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
I wrote him personally and asked if it was alright for his disciples to write books, Since he, our spiritual master, was already doing that. He wrote back and said that it was certainly alright For us to produce books.
I have a personal story to tell. It is a about a time (January–July 1974) I spent as a personal servant and secretary of my spiritual master, His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupäda, founder-äcärya of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. Although I have written extensively about Çréla Prabhupäda, I’ve hesitated to give this account, for fear it would expose me as a poor disciple. But now I’m going ahead, confident that the truth will purify both my readers and myself.
First published by The Gītā-nāgarī Press/GN Press in serialized form in the magazine Among Friends between 1996 and 2001, Best Use of a Bad Bargain is collected here for the first time in this new edition. This volume also contains essays written by Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami for the occasional periodical, Hope This Meets You in Good Health, between 1994 and 2002, published by the ISKCON Health and Welfare Ministry.
This book has two purposes: to arouse our transcendental feelings of separation from a great personality, Śrīla Prabhupāda, and to encourage all sincere seekers of the Absolute Truth to go forward like an army under the banner of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda and the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement.
A single volume collection of the Nimai novels.
Śrīla Prabhupāda was in the disciplic succession from the Brahmā-Mādhva-Gauḍīya sampradāya, the Vaiṣṇavas who advocate pure devotion to God and who understand Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He always described himself as simply a messenger who carried the paramparā teachings of his spiritual master and Lord Kṛṣṇa.
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept this or it’s worse than useless.
You have given me spiritual life
and so my time is yours.
You want me to be happy in Krishna consciousness
You want me to spread Krishna consciousness,
This collection of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1966 and 1978, and compiled in 1979 by Gita Nagari Press as the volume A Handbook for Kṛṣṇa Consciousness.
This second volume of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s Back to Godhead essays encompasses the last 11 years of his 20-year tenure as Editor-in-Chief of Back to Godhead magazine. The essays in this book consist mostly of SDG’s ‘Notes from the Editor’ column, which was typically featured towards the end of each issue starting in 1978 and running until Mahārāja retired from his duties as editor in 1989.
This collection of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s writings is comprised of essays that were originally published in Back to Godhead magazine between 1991 and 2002, picking up where Volume 2 leaves off. The volume is supplemented by essays about devotional service from issues of Satsvarupa dasa Goswami’s magazine, Among Friends, published in the 1990s.
“This is a different kind of book, written in my old age, observing Kṛṣṇa consciousness and assessing myself. I believe it fits under the category of ‘Literature in pursuance of the Vedic version.’ It is autobiography, from a Western-raised man, who has been transformed into a devotee of Kṛṣṇa by Śrīla Prabhupāda.”
The Best I Could DoI want to study this evolution of my art, my writing. I want to see what changed from the book In Search of the Grand Metaphor to the next book, The Last Days of the Year.
a Hare Krishna ManIt’s world enlightenment day
And devotees are giving out books
By milk of kindness, read one page
And your life can become perfect.
Calling Out to Srila Prabhupada: Poems and PrayersO Prabhupāda, whose purports are wonderfully clear, having been gathered from what was taught by the previous ācāryas and made all new; O Prabhupāda, who is always sober to expose the material illusion and blissful in knowledge of Kṛṣṇa, may we carefully read your Bhaktivedanta purports.
I use free-writing in my devotional service as part of my sādhana. It is a way for me to enter those realms of myself where only honesty matters; free-writing enables me to reach deeper levels of realization by my repeated attempt to “tell the truth quickly.” Free-writing takes me past polished prose. It takes me past literary effect. It takes me past the need to present something and allows me to just get down and say it. From the viewpoint of a writer, this dropping of all pretense is desirable.
Geaglum Free WriteThis edition of Satsvarūpa dāsa Goswami’s 1996 timed book, Geaglum Free Write Diary, is published as part of a legacy project to restore Satsvarūpa Mahārāja’s writings to ‘in print’ status and make them globally available for current and future readers.