Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
He gave me headache medicine
before starting japa.
I did this yesterday and had no appearance
of the eye strain. So,
we are going to do it on a regular basis.
I used the walker to go into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa using all
the precautionary measures. I proceeded
with my eyes closed, silent,
and moving at a slow-moderate pace.
I practiced “just hear.”
You merely chant and hear
the Hare Krishna mantra with
no other meditation.
I can do it,
and it gives me satisfaction.
It is recommended by Srila Prabhupada.
There are higher states of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is Krishna Himself, and absorbs himself
in the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare state of japa.
I met my quota after four rounds
with ample minutes to spare.
I felt no twinge of eye discomfort.
After this I paused from japa
and wrote my experience
of the first set in my Japa Report.
I did it as a change of
pace to relieve the
tension of constant chanting.
I began the second set
in the same way.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind,
I heard the names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
I was not so much distracted
by planning what to write in my Japa Report,
since I had just written of the first set.
But the habit was still somewhat present.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the holy names,
so my chanting was faulty.
but the mercy and the power of the maha-mantra
vanquishes sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
(I like to recite the lines
about the power of the maha-mantra.
Despite my inadequacy, they give me confidence
that I am making progress
by the Absolute nature of the Name,
so I repeat them daily as affirmation.)
Unfortunately, I developed
the first symptom of eye discomfort.
The pain wasn’t so great, so I
tried to ignore it. Yet it was a distraction.
With the writing in between japa sets,
my timed quotas have been longer,
and I haven’t figured them out yet.
But I estimated that I met
my new quota after eight rounds
with minutes to spare.
As I began my third set,
my right eye twinge developed more.
I took a cocktail of headache medicines.
Despite the inconvenience, I was enjoying
a relatively peaceful japa
in the early hours
in the sanctity
of my bhajan-kutir.
I tried to avoid mechanical chanting
by cultivating thoughtfulness and
devotional feelings. For being thoughtful,
I adhered to “just hear.”
Although I couldn’t enter a deep
inward state, I paid external attention
to the individual mantras and thought it was decent.
For feeling, I thought of the sweetness of Radha-Govinda.
I acknowledged that Radha-Krishna were the
heart of the Hare Krishna mantra. I estimated
that I finished my twelfth round
with ample minutes to spare.
As I began the fourth set
the right eye twinge was much reduced, with only
a little remaining—and I was relieved.
I was not much distracted by planning
what to write in my Japa Report,
since I had already written so much.
But I still planned what to write
in the fourth set. I called out to Krishna
for His blessings, because it is not possible for me
to do good japa on my own endeavor.
I completed my sixteenth round, estimating
I had met my new overall quota
with minutes to spare.
I considered the session decent
with partial handicap.
I rated it “decent” mainly
because I stayed with “just hear”
the whole time, and did not
speed up from a slow-moderate pace.
I was awake and alert the whole time,
and controlled my mind from freely wandering.
I effectively managed and limited
the handicap, although it required medicine.
At least I followed the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.