Writing while reading combines the potency of reading Srila Prabhupada’s books along with the freedom and pleasure that I find in writing. Sometimes I may feel doubtful about my writing sessions because their very nature is to capture the “first thoughts” of the mind. Those first thoughts may sometimes be chaotic and not so Krishna conscious, but then I try to steer them to Krishna. I have faith in that process, but sometimes one wants to stay continually in the flow of krishna-katha, even though it’s not my normal flow of consciousness.
I would like someone to come into this room and see me reading the best book, see me thinking the best thoughts, and to hear me repeating them: a devotee is not agitated; he always expects Krishna’s mercy. But I’m restless. I think of an excuse to get up and leave the room. Then I come back here and regret that I interrupted my reading where the nine symptoms of bhava are elaborated on one by one.
(Cc. Asraya, A Diary While Attempting to Read Sri Caitanya-Caritamrta)