I woke with a headache
at 12:00 A.M., took
a pill and subdued
the pain.
Baladeva’s alarm clock went off at 1:00 A.M.,
and our cowbells followed.
He administered my wake-up rituals.
I went into the room
where the Deities are and bowed down.
I began my japa at a moderate pace,
looking at Radha-Govinda.
I practiced “just hear,” the method
where you go attentively
chanting and hearing
with no other meditation.
I am capable and comfortable doing this.
There are higher stages of perfection in japa,
but “just hear” is elevated in itself.
Anyone who understands that the Name
is non-different from Krishna Himself,
and who absorbs himself in
the transcendental sound vibration,
is achieving a rare stage of japa.
Because I was going at a moderate pace,
I met my quota after four rounds
with a few minutes to spare. Then I
turned to writing in my Japa Report.
I continued the second set at a moderate pace.
Although I was chanting silently in the mind
I heard the names clearly, with attention
and concern to pronounce the words properly.
But I was distracted by planning
what to write in the next Japa Report.
I was committing aparadha:
inattention to the Name,
so my chanting was faulty.
But the mercy and power of
the maha-mantra is so great
it vanquishes past sinful reactions,
ushers in liberation
and brings one gradually to love of God,
even when chanted with imperfections
as I was doing.
I finished my third set
with a few minutes to spare on the quota.
I began the third set emphasizing speed
as a priority over quality. I was far behind
in my quota, according to the clock.
I did not rush recklessly, but held on
to the bead until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I called out to Krishna for His blessing,
because it is not possible for me
to do good japa on my own endeavor.
I was alert and awake and kept external
attention to the mantras, but I
was not able to enter an internal
state of prayer. I was not able
to complete my sixteen rounds
within the allotted time. I stopped
chanting and promised to do
an unfinished three rounds
later in the day.
It was not a good session,
because I could not finish
my prescribed rounds during
the allotted time. I did not
experience any physical
pain in the eyes or head
during the entire session.
I kept up clear enunciation
of the mantras as I chanted.