I have read _Harinama-cintamani_ several times and have tried to take its suggestions to heart. But Bhaktivinoda Thakura states that it is impossible to achieve pure chanting by our own endeavor. Your mercy is required. That means I have to beg for Your mercy as I chant. “Dear Radha, dear Krishna, please engage me in Your service.” Japa is a crying out for Your mercy. If we cannot cry, then we should cry that we cannot cry. I know that improving my japa is very important, and that it is only apparently an easy task; it requires great concentration. Please help me. Let my mind not wander or become apathetic. Let me come to the stage where I can serve Nama Prabhu with a humble heart, realizing that the holy names are my only shelter and my only true happiness.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura states that it is not possible to attain pure chanting by our own endeavor.
We need Krishna’s
mercy. I must pray to Krishna:
Dear Krishna, please engage me in Your service.
Japa is crying
out for mercy.
If we cannot cry
then we must cry that I cannot cry.
Let me serve Hare Krishna
with a humble heart, knowing
that the holy names are
the only shelter. _My_ only shelter
and my only true happiness.
I began my new schedule,
not writing the Japa Report,
not looking at the Deities,
and emphasizing the “just hear” method.
I did not rush recklessly, but held on to
the bead until the mantra was finished
before moving on to the next bead.
I didn’t enter a prayer state,
but enunciated all my rounds
with external attention.
I met my overall quota
with minutes to spare.
I was alert and wide awake the whole time.
I felt no head pain for the entire set.
I follow the process of doing
a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order
of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.