In the garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus went to pray, he said to God the Father, “Please do not put this chalice [of suffering] before me.” Then he said, “But Your will, not mine.” In the churning of the milk ocean, Dhanvantari appeared holding a chalice containing the nectar which the demigods and demons so much wanted. The demons snatched the chalice from Dhanvantari, but then the Lord’s incarnation as a woman, Mohini Murti, appeared, and bewildered the demons. She took back the chalice and gave it to the demigods. Chalices are not used much in Krsna conscious puja.
I have remorse over the times I was in maya and over the mistakes I have made in ISKCON. I beg to be forgiven. In the Ajamila section of the Sixth Canto, in a purport after Ajamila’s remorse is expressed, Prabhupada writes that we (ISKCON devotees) should always remember what we were before we came to Krsna consciousness, and we should always have a feeling of remorse. After Lord Brahma stole the calves and cowherd boys from Krsna, and after Krsna revealed His opulence to Brahma, Brahma was very remorseful. Indra was also remorseful after he tried to drown the area of Vrndavana, and Krsna lifted Govardhana Hill to protect the residents. Indra came before Krsna in a solitary place and made humble prayers of repentance.
It is late in my life. I see I won’t be able to reach suddha-nama in this lifetime. At least I won’t stop chanting, and I won’t seriously deviate in my remaining days. It is late for all of us. We cannot calculate how much time we have left to live. We may die at any moment, just as Maharaja Pariksit was cursed to die in seven days. Prabhupada wrote that at least Maharaja Pariksit knew he had so much time left, whereas we don’t know whether we have only seven minutes or seven days left. We should be very sober, considering that no matter what our age, we are in a “late” situation and should try our best to reform our anarthas. Srila Prabhupada said that he started late and that he wasted most of his life—but this was a statement of his humility. He was actually always preaching and preparing himself for the opportune time when he could carry out his mission and spread Krsna consciousness in the English language (by going to the West). In his disciples’ opinion, he did not arrive late but arrived in perfect time to save us from our degraded state.
Kalachandji, the editor of Aindra’s biography, has asked me to write the foreword. I begged off on this assignment, saying that I did not know Aindra at all; I only saw him from a distance, and I admired him. For me, my disciple Rama-Raya is “my Aindra.” I fully approve of his intimate friendship and siksa-discipleship of Aindra. He was long-trained by Aindra in how to sing, play the harmonium, and adopt the practice of 24-hour kirtana in Vrndavana. After Aindra Prabhu disappeared, Rama-Raya, with brilliant inspiration from the Supersoul, followed Aindra’s footsteps but with a new innovation. He took the harinama out of the protected confines of the Krsna-Balarama Mandira and brought it to the streets and subways of New York City. He created a group of followers who go out seven days a week, chanting six hours a day and distributing books in great numbers. Rama-Raya is carrying out Aindra’s legacy, but in a new way, compassionately bringing harinama to the fallen souls in the demoniac City. So I offer my obeisances to Rama-Raya and look up to him as my Aindra. Aindra once said that his was a revolutionary movement—he wanted to take harinama to the streets and combat maya and purify the conditioned souls. So Rama-Raya has taken that revolutionary desire of Aindra to heart and is prosecuting it very successfully in Prabhupada’s adopted city, Manhattan.
The book distributors have always been dear to Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada’s spiritual master, Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura, was very pleased if a devotee sold only a few of the Math’s magazines. Prabhupada’s disciples have developed the art of book distribution to where they’re selling incredible numbers of books (in the millions, in different languages, all over the world). Ghanasyama Prabhu (later Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja) used to send Prabhupada regular reports of his success in Communist countries in Eastern Europe. Prabhupada became very pleased with these reports and developed a deep appreciation of his disciples’ service. Prabhupada used to say that the book distribution reports used to keep him alive, even when he was weak and ill. Rama-Raya’s harinama and book distribution Party in New York City is having wonderful success. They go about it in a nonduplicitous way, all persons wearing devotional clothes and making non-cheating introductions to Prabhupada’s books to the passersby. The combination of the passersby hearing the kirtana and being approached by book distributors is purifying and sublime.
A devotee was talking to me about Krsna’s pastimes with the demoness Putana. He said that when Putana was forced to give up her body as a beautiful woman, she turned into an owl. But the Srimad-Bhagavatam clearly and elaborately states that Putana turned into a gigantic witch twelve miles long, with an abdomen like a sunken pond, thighs like bridges, Krsna playing on her breasts, and when the cowherd men chopped up her body and burned it, it smelled like sandalwood because it was touched by Krsna. I told the devotee not to speak from obscure sources but to stick to Prabhupada’s books for information about krsna-katha. One can present material from the commentaries of the Six Gosvamis in authorized translations to supplement Prabhupada’s books, but nothing should be presented contrary to his purports.
A cartoon in a newsmagazine showed two Boeing jet planes which had recently crashed. Boeing canceled the manufacture of this model of jet. The cartoon then showed an assault rifle so popular in America, and it said: “This rifle has been used in dozens of mass attacks on innocent people, and it continues to be sold freely.” This reminds me of the unrestricted proliferation of unauthorized presentations of Krsna’s conjugal pastimes with the gopis. Despite the warnings by Pariksit Maharaja and Sukadeva Gosvami, and Sukadeva’s explanation how Krsna’s pastimes are above material mundane love affairs, publishers and sahajiyas unrestrictedly present the conjugal pastimes in unauthorized ways, making Krsna and the gopis into a cheap thing like lusty affairs between boys and girls. To avoid this, Prabhupada (as well as his spiritual master and Lord Caitanya) did not speak of Krsna and the gopis in public. They reserved it for talks between confidential devotees of the Lord. During Lord Caitanya’s appearance, poets used to come to Him and want Him to read their poetry about Krsna. But Lord Caitanya would not read anything unless it was first read and approved by His confidential secretary Svarupa Damodara. Svarupa Damodara provided the “quality control” so that the Lord would not have to read material which contained rasa-bhasa or misunderstandings of the very delicate relationships of Krsna and His confidential devotees.
We didn’t go out to the park until October 1966. We had permission from the Parks Department to hold kirtana from 3:00-5:00 PM. Swamiji led us from 26 Second Avenue to the park. We carried a rolled-up old Oriental rug. From the tenements, some young Puerto Ricans hooted at us and made derogatory remarks. Prabhupada, who said he was a “Calcutta man,” was not disturbed by the hooting. But we, his followers, were thin-skinned, and we took shelter in Swamiji’s presence and found courage there. When we arrived in the park we unrolled the rug and sat around it, using it as a space for dancing the “Swami step.” Prabhupada was in good health at this time, and he vigorously played the one-headed bongo and led the chanting for one and a half hours. No one thought to check him because we thought he could do anything he wanted, and he had unlimited health. After chanting he would stand and give a short lecture under the tree, and then he would return to chanting for another hour and a half. We gathered a crowd of onlookers who stood around us, a varied group of middle-aged Ukrainians, hip young Americans, some of whom brought their own musical instruments, which Swamiji allowed to add to the kirtana. The weather that year was warm for autumn, and I remember sunny days with the last sunlight slanting down upon us. We soon forgot our self-consciousness and got up to dance as Swamiji wanted us to do, and sang without inhibition. By that time, Swamiji had initiated about ten disciples. An amateur filmmaker shot our kirtana, and you can see Strayadhisa dancing angelically, his back pockets stuffed with “Stay High Forever” pages. But the center was Swamiji; we never would have gone out without him. Eventually it got too cold to go outdoors, and then Swamiji left for California. When he came back in the spring of 1967, it wasn’t long before he had his stroke. Seeking a better climate to recover in, he went back to California (found little sunshine) and then came back to New York, bound for Vrindavan, India. While he was there, the boys from 26 Second Avenue went out by themselves to Tompkins Square Park on Sundays. Brahmananda, Rsi-kumara and others led the chanting. We were more confident now and could do it without Swamiji’s personal presence; we did it on his vani.
They say you should drink two liters of water a day. I have always had trouble drinking this much water, but all health advocates strongly recommend it. Krsna says in Bhagavad-gita that He is the taste in water. Prabhupada comments that there is no substitute for water. You can’t drink gold. (Although once in a lecture, he said the taste of wine is also Krsna.) The personalist thanks Krsna for the thirst-quenching taste of water and realizes Krsna is present in the natural liquid. Two liters of water is recommended to wash out the toxins produced from the biproducts of cellular activity. Our bodies are 90% water—we need to replenish the water in our bodies because it is always evaporating through perspiration and breathing, and the body is always producing toxins that have to be flushed out. Prabhupada always had a glass of water, which he drank by pouring it down his throat without touching it to his lips. In the beginning he used to tell his followers, “You cannot do this.” But now many of his followers drink without touching the cup to their lips. When Prabhupada was lecturing, he frequently cleared his throat. After this, he would take a drink of water.
In 1966, we had two mimeograph machines which were hand-operated to print Back to Godhead magazines. Later, ISKCON Press acquired full printing machinery, most of which ran automatically. In the present age, many electronic machines run automatically. But as Prabhupada repeatedly pointed out, a human operator is always needed “to push the buttons.” He gave this example to explain that behind all the operations of the planets, stars and other cosmic phenomena, which seem to work automatically, there is always a brain or intelligence behind the operations. The supreme operator is Krsna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
In 1974, when I was serving as Prabhupada’s personal servant and secretary, I came down with a bad case of jaundice. My face turned a bright yellow. I was so weak I had to lie down, and since I had no private room, the only place to do it was in the hallway outside of Prabhupada’s room. I couldn’t attend his lectures, but he would see me lying there when he went into the temple and when he came out. My duties were taken over by others. This began in Bombay, India, and continued when Prabhupada began a European tour in June of 1974. In Rome, Prabhupada mentioned to his GBC secretary, Bhagavan, that if I didn’t get well, he would leave me behind in Rome when he traveled on to the next European country on his itinerary. When I heard this, I became frightened and somehow recovered from jaundice before he left me behind.
I recently received a letter from Bhurijana. He wrote me, “Once, long ago, a disciple of Prabhupada’s Godbrother told me that he was in the presence of Srila Sridhara Maharaja, who was walking up and down his ashram veranda, leaning on the railing and softly muttering something to himself. One intimate disciple inquired what he was saying, and his reply was, “Ten years with Srila Prabhupada (Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura) and 40 years in his absence.”
Bhurijana commented, “We are now more or less in the same numerical boat. Vat to do?”
Bhurijana informed me that he has just completed the first draft of the Ninth Canto, which means the book containing the overviews of Cantos Seven through Nine can be worked on. Now Bhurijana is moving forward to the Tenth Canto, which he says he has been studying for years and reading commentaries on for a long time. He is hoping to become absorbed in Krsna’s pastimes but is painfully aware of his lack of qualification.
Regarding the 40-year “absence” of Prabhupada, I am feeling confidence in serving his vani (instructions), and I feel Prabhupada’s presence, especially when I read his books, hear his lectures, discuss him with devotees, or write about him. Our out-loud reading at mealtimes of Prabhupada Meditations was a good surcharging of Prabhupada consciousness.
Bhurijana is creating an awesome task in his detailed overviews of the complete Srimad-Bhagavatam. I have read the available published portions, and I am very impressed with them. His scholarship is of a high standard, and he is very faithful to Prabhupada.
I could not master algebra in high school. In my freshman year, I took on five full subjects. I was passing them all except for algebra. Seeking consolation, I went to the teacher, Dr. Carrol. I told him, “I am passing all my other subjects, but I can’t understand algebra.” He sarcastically replied, “What do you have to learn in English? To spell cat, ‘c-a-t?’” His sarcasm was unsympathetic and cutting. I decided to drop algebra and carry only four subjects. I just couldn’t figure it out. This isn’t a Krsna conscious subject, but I mention it in hopes it will resonate with my readers, who may have had similar experience, being unable to pass a certain subject, like chemistry, math, geometry, or a foreign language, etc. Even the best students sometimes fail in a particular subject. With Prabhupada’s books, one may have trouble understanding them in the beginning, but one has to keep going and trying and re-reading and studying. One cannot give them up. And with time, apply oneself to these books. Krsna will gradually reveal their meaning. Prabhupada has made them accessible through his lucid Bhaktivedanta purports. I can say, fortunately, to His Divine Grace I am now able to understand his books. If I could go back in time, I would ask my algebra teacher, Dr. Carrol, “What do you gain by learning algebra, ‘a-l-g-e-b-r-a?’” It is not a study into the absolute truth. It is useless for spiritual purposes.
Kunti-mala are the small tulasi beads that are worn around the neck in three to five strands by an aspiring Vaisnava. Wearing neck beads identifies one as a devotee of Krsna. Some devotees have given up all other outward signs of being a devotee, yet they retain faithfully the kunti-mala. Sometimes they are called “Krsna’s dog tags.” They identify the person as a devotee of Krsna and are very important for personal commitment. A Hindu man in Hudson, New York, where there is a predominance of Bangladeshi Muslims, came up to my disciple and noticed his neck beads. He pointed at them and with happiness asked, “ISKCON?” He asked if there were Sunday feasts. He was so relieved to know that there was a nearby ISKCON contact. My disciple gave him our phone number and took his. We told him we would inform him of festivals, such as the upcoming festival on May 18, Nrsimha Caturdasi.
When Hinduism courses are taught in the universities, Krsna is always presented as a myth. My friend, Rev. John Endler, told me that when he was attending college, he took a course from a famous scholar who adamantly described Krsna as a myth. One day the professor happened to see John’s copy of Bhagavad-gita As It Is by Srila Prabhupada in his book bag. The professor said with surprise, “Oh! You’re a believer?” Now some of Prabhupada’s followers have obtained advanced degrees and are teaching as professors in the religion departments of universities. They do not teach that Krsna is a myth. Prabhupada was strong in dismissing the conception that Krsna was a myth. He wrote that the great devotional scholars and sages, such as Vyasadeva, Sukadeva—down to the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana—would never have written their commentaries on Krsna if He were a myth. They would not have wasted their time on Him if He were make-believe. By reading Bhagavad-gita As It Is and Srimad-Bhagavatam, one gives up the agnostic conception that Sri Krsna is just a fictional character, and they become convinced that He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is sac-cid-ananda (full of eternity, knowledge and bliss).
Ghee is the most valuable product of the cow. The cow is milked, and after offering it to Krsna, persons drink as much milk as they like. After the first day, the milk is put in pots and kept overnight. It turns into yogurt, and persons consume the yogurt as they like. Then whatever yogurt is left is churned (as Mother Yasoda used to do), and that separates into butter and buttermilk. Buttermilk is drunk, and the butter is made into clarified butter (ghee) by slow boiling, and the milk solids separate out. Ghee is used in worship, offered in the sacrificial fire, and it is used in Ayurveda as a component of medicine. Foods cooked in ghee are considered first class. There is a saying, attributed to Prabhupada, that if a preparation isn’t cooked in ghee, it isn’t cooked at all. There’s an example in the Caitanya-caritamrta that if you do something first class, people will be attracted and they will come. Prabhupada gave the example of a famous jalebi shop in Delhi which cooked jalebis only in fresh ghee. The shop always had customers lining up and going around the corner.
Nairobi
9th October, 1971
Dallas
My Dear Satsvarupa,
Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letters dated 1st and 4th October 1971, respectively, and have noted the contents. I am very glad to know that you are trying your best to organize a school in Dallas and purchase a building. In this connection, and that you are very much anxious to get $15,000 loan from me. So I have advised Karandhara to give you this sum as a loan for six months, because this money is kept to meet emergency demand from Dai Nippon. We have to keep our credit nicely with Dai Nippon. Twice I paid $20,000 each time, so they are convinced that we are a solid party. So this $15,000 loan to your school scheme may be returned as soon as possible, not later than six months. So you can immediately complete negotiation and take the money from Karandhara.
Regarding your teacher problem, I have advised Pradyumna to go there and teach students primary Sanskrit lessons, at least to learn the alphabet, so that in the future when they go to India they may learn Sanskrit very easily. The students should be taught Sanskrit both in Devanagari and Bengali alphabets. Satyabhama in New Vrindaban has written a nice book for elementary lessons in English. I think this book may be printed immediately. If not, the manuscript may be used to teach the students. The important matter is that the children are taken care of nicely. Bhavananda was talking with me that in New Vrindaban students were very much neglected. Therefore they were immediately transferred to New York. Every parent wants to see that their children are taken care of very nicely. That is the first duty. If they are not healthy, then how they can prosecute their education? If they are undernourished, it is not good for their future activities. They must have sufficient quantity of milk and then dhal, capatis, vegetables, and a little fruit will keep them always fit. There is no need of luxurious fatty foods, but milk is essential. A big building is also very good for the children’s health. They can move freely and run and jump.
Yes, Visnujana Maharaja is personally a nice devotee so he has created nice devotees. Apani achari prabhu jivare sikhaya, which means that Lord Caitanya used to behave personally, and then He used to teach others. So every one of us should follow this principle of Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
Please offer my blessings to Mohanananda and the others. Hoping this will meet you all in good health.
Your ever well-wisher,
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
This letter was written before we purchased the big building in Dallas. But Prabhupada says a big building is very good for the childrens’ health. “They can move freely and run and jump.” They certainly did that when we moved into the Dallas building. Prabhupada says he has advised Pradyumna to go to Dallas and teach primary Sanskrit lessons. I don’t know how Pradyumna responded to Prabhupada’s letter, but he never came to Dallas. Some of the other teachers knew how to teach the Sanskrit alphabet.
Prabhupada was concerned with the health of the children. Apparently, teaching of children began in New Vrindaban, but they were neglected there. When the children actually transferred to Dallas, they were fed nicely and taken care of.
I had written to Prabhupada praising my Godbrother Visnujana Maharaja and saying how he had created nice devotees. Prabhupada agrees with this estimation of Maharaja and quotes Sanskrit that says one must behave personally and then teach others.
Prabhupada approves of a $15,000 loan for the down payment of the Dallas buildings. But he says decisively that he wants the loan repaid within six months. This was a great burden on us, as we were not collecting much money by book distribution or other means. We had an incense business, but it wasn’t that profitable. I do not remember how we managed to pay back the $15,ooo within six months, but I assume we made it, since Prabhupada demanded it.
In the presence of dear visitors, Haryasva, Visnu-Aradhanam and Rama-Raya, as well as Bala, Baladeva and Krsna dasi, we have been reading my writings in Vrndavana in Karttika, 1991, where I was practicing meditations and remembrances of Srila Prabhupada. I repeatedly went to Prabhupada’s Samadhi in Vrndavana and sat before his murti and practiced writing. I did this also in his residential rooms if I could find a time when no one else was present. I didn’t like being interrupted or distracted from my mission of recalling Srila Prabhupada. Bhurijana’s daughter, Lalita-manjari, had the keys to Prabhupada’s residence, and she used to let me g0 in immediately after mangala arati, when no one was there, and I could get close to Prabhupada and write. Also, in the Samadhi, I would go in at off-hours and go up to the balcony for privacy. In Prabhupada Meditations, I encourage readers in their own meditations of Prabhupada. In 1991, I inevitably focused on Prabhupada’s disappearance because the Samadhi and residence (where his disappearance bed was) were prominent features of Krsna Balarama Mandir. Prabhupada’s presence could be felt strongly in separation. Prabhupada Meditations is not only personal, but it is meant as a guidebook for others to encourage them in their practice of taking time to think of Prabhupada. At the end of my writing pieces, I had a section called “Try This . . . ”. I gave suggestions how devotees could practice remembrance of Prabhupada.
Here is an example of a “Try This . . . ” :
“And since we are emphasizing the idea of ‘on the move meditation’ when there is not enough time for our regular practices, then why not keep some of his statements written on cards and take them out? Prabhupada’s statements have a special flavor. They are uniquely different from the Sanskrit translations composed by Vyasadeva. We can take small statements or sections of purports by Prabhupada out with us wherever we go.”
Much effort went into recalling. I tried self-hypnosis techniques and guided imagery to help me come closer to Srila Prabhupada and receive a revelation, a memory, a “wisp.” By these methods, I tried to go beyond canned memories (memories which are part of my repertoire and which I repeat again and again) and discover fresh recalls and glimpses of Prabhupada. It took a lot of work and “meditation,” but I saw it as my vocation—or mission— to do. I took it as my responsibility to expand new remembrances of our beloved spiritual master. The devotees I mentioned who attended these out-loud readings, relished them very much, because they like to hear me remembering Srila Prabhupada as his disciple.
We have here a collection of photographs of Prabhupada on morning walks in Mayapura and in a European city. Srila Prabhupada is joined by many, many disciples, some of them carrying dandas. There is no “crowd control.” Maybe twenty or more devotees accompany him, and someone holds a microphone to catch his words. Staying close to Prabhupada was dynamic “survival of the fittest.” You had to be careful not to step on Prabhupada’s feet, and yet at the same time you wanted to get as close as possible so you could hear him speaking. In one photograph I am carrying the official microphone, but I have been pushed to the back. The crowd of walkers are like a car race; each driver keeps as close as possible to the lead. He doesn’t want to lose his place, lest another car driver slip in and usurp his spot. When we walked with Narayan Maharaja, he said he didn’t like so many people on the walk (and several microphones). He thought it was “ugly.” But Prabhupada in these pictures seems to tolerate his affectionate devotees’ walking along beside him, eager to catch his words. Several pictures show Prabhupada stopped in his walking, with the Eiffel Tower in the background and a large group of men clustered close around him. He has his finger in his bead bag, but he is talking, something Krsna conscious. Prabhupada gestures with his left hand, fingers extended, in a kind of improvised, communicative mudra.
Today Radha-Govinda wear clothes of a pleasing soft color (like the daffodil?) with golden trim. It is so nice and assuring to do this service in the morning and enter the inner circle of serving Radha and Krsna in a domestic way, to clean Their bodies and to dress Them. I think of a way to improve it with increased devotion. That is what They want, more than scented oils or many new crowns. But I’m also trying to obtain more turbans and dresses from Vrndavana.
***
Radha and Krsna are wearing white dresses with pink and gold trim. He wears a white turban, carries a gold leaning stick and flute. Radharani wears a gold headdress. They wear dark peach-colored chadars to keep warm. Hear the wind and rain.
***
Srimati Radharani’s bracelet kept falling off. I tried to make Her look elegant and neat, but I am clumsy, and those bracelets don’t fit well. In Lalita-madhava, the last act is full of reunions, as the residents of Vrndavana have come to Dvaraka. Everyone is understanding the identity of the gopis. But Radha has gone to drown Herself in the Kaliya lake. I couldn’t follow all of it, but I am certainly not opposed to the mood and the action.
***
Srila Prabhupada wears a knit cap and scarf from Vrndavana. Thus I have made contact with Vrndavana dhama. Krsna says the land of Vrndavana is nondifferent from Him, and His name is nondifferent from Him. There is no higher worship than the worship of vraja-vadhu, the gopis of Vrndavana.
***
Beautiful. Radha-Govinda, yellow-and-golden dress. When I had completed everything, I noticed Govinda’s jari and necklace hung too low, all the way down to His feet. But I had no more energy to correct it. Later. Radha . . . as good as I could do. Please accept it. Srila Prabhupada in shades of saffron, light and pinkish (like a morning sunrise), and he’s happy, beaming in a graceful way.
“From Japa Reform Notebook:
“‘I really felt happy chanting my last required rounds from dusk to nightfall walking around outside my cabin.
“‘Yes, I will have to die and leave this place.
“‘To avoid the prostitute, Haridasa Thakura pleaded that he had to finish his prescribed rounds. I also can avoid prajalpa by the plea of finishing my 25 rounds. But if there are preaching, fighting duties, I can’t avoid them by chanting ‘in a secluded place.’ But the taste of increased vow, the knowledge of the strength it is giving, is important for preaching.’
“In the days when ISKCON GBC men were going to see Sridhara Maharaja in Navadvipa, I asked him that some of our duties in Krsna consciousness seemed to distract us from hari-nama. I wished I had phrased that question differently. Sridhara Maharaja praised the many preaching duties our Guru Maharaja was giving us. He said that if we chant without service, it is like firing blanks from a gun.
“But I wanted to hear assurance that somehow japa is also very important, and that a beleaguered servant still has to implore the holy names and bow down early in the morning and throughout the day, praying at the feet of hari-nama. I wanted to hear and believe that the chanting of Hare Krsna is most important. I wanted to hear that it is attainable. I wanted to be pushed and inspired in that direction. I wanted to see leaders and peers intently chanting on their japa mala. I want to hear heroic stories about Haridasa Thakura’s chanting japa so ecstatically that even Mayadevi couldn’t entice him but instead became converted.
“Is this a romantic desire of mine? Is it unrealistic? Is it wrong to want this? No, of course not. ‘Then rise, tiny spirit soul, in gratefulness, security and protection—and chant, chant, chant. Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare.’ (JRN, p. 18)”