I began my japa at a moderate pace
hoping I would be attentive,
meet my quotas,
and write a short Japa Report.
I practiced “just hear.”
It is an elevated stage
and I could not sustain it.
But I tried.
I met my quota after four rounds
with minutes to spare.
I began the second set
at a moderate pace. Baladeva’s
vocal chanting from the other room
encouraged me and helped me
to pace my mental japa.
I focused on the beads
and the clock
to moderate my timing.
Besides, I could not sustain
my darsana because Radha-Govinda
were too blurry for me to see.
I noted that I was
lagging behind. I started
to chant at a brisk pace,
but tried not to rush recklessly.
I finished my eighth round
failing to meet the quota
with minutes behind.
As I began the fourth set
Baladeva noticed that
I was drowsy and he came into the room
starting to give me a foot massage.
That helped me to revive.
I also drank an Airborne Vitamin C Blast
to make me alert. Baladeva suggested that
I stop my japa and promise to finish
it later in the day.
But I was determined to
meet the quota. I sped up
but kept an external attentive japa.
I completed sixteen rounds
meeting the overall quota
with ten minutes to spare.
I considered it barely a half-decent session.
The first two sets were on a schedule
and clearly done.
But I grew drowsy
on the third set.
Baladeva’s foot massage revived me.
On the fourth set and I sped up to meet the quota.
I felt no head pain
for the entire session,
but was drowsy and distracted.
I followed the process
of doing a prescribed number of rounds
in obedience to the order of the spiritual master,
a sacred vow.