You chant your japa quickly and then slowly. Sometimes you get sleepy. You have heard that even negligent japa brings great benefit, so powerful is harinama. The Names are more merciful than Krishna the person. They are Krishna in the form of sacred syllables. You try to vibrate them out loud, loudly, but you’re not always successful. But you always push them out. When you are not writing, you are chanting. You ask your body to cooperate, but it is slowing down and ailing. Even Haridasa Thakura began to chant fewer rounds in his old age, but Lord Caitanya told him not to worry, he was already liberated. In his prime, Haridasa chanted three hundred thousand Names a day. [The saints] gave it all they had, and the Lord empowered them. Their chanting was suddha-sattva, completely transcendental, with no offenses. They saw Krishna in His names. They loved to chant and never diverted their attention. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux compared herself to a little sparrow who looked up to the great eagles – the saints like Teresa of Avila. I want to be like that, a little worshiping sparrow looking up admiringly at the great ones.
We’re chugging alone doing our best.
My eyes are a little heavy, but
the speed is going all right, and I’m
praying to God in a lowly way, counting
up the quota, counting up the strength.
We’ll reach twelve rounds before
Narayana comes, and then only four more
before the minimum count. So far to go
before excellent chanting, but I know
You are with me and are encouraging
my pace, telling me, “Increase your
quality,” and looking over my shoulder,
giving me encouragement and a helpful